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DS always been fed to sleep now I want to stop at 22 months; stories please

(26 Posts)
Greedygirl Wed 21-Oct-09 20:19:45

DS still has a bedtime feed and I have now officially had enough and want to wean him completely. But I have always relied on this to get him to sleep at night and just cannot imagine him lying in his cot and going to sleep. I know the theory so what I am after is just a bit of reassurance from mums who have been there and done it; was it traumatic or relatively easy?

luciemule Thu 22-Oct-09 10:31:30

I was in your position when DS was 21 months.
DH was pressuring me to stop bf him and so as soon as DH left for Afgahnistan, the pressure was off and I managed to wean him from the breast in a couple of nights. I simply replaced the breast with a cup of milk and a story in a completely different place than I normally fed him.
It worked and because I felt ready with nobody to pressure me, we did it.
In the weeks and months after that it wasn't always easy because he remembered that he breast fed and even now, aged 4.8, he still likes to cuddle my chest and stick his hand down my top - not good when I was chatting to his teacher the other day!!!
At first, could you give him the feed but not let him fall asleep? Then read him a story, cuddle and leave.

weasle Thu 22-Oct-09 20:28:52

hi, my ds2 also 22 months and still fed to sleep.

however, he recently went to sleep with dh with a cup of cows milk and a cuddle when i was working late. that was the first time ever he went to sleep at nighttime without a bf! i was surprised and a bit sad! I am in 2 minds whether to stop as i am getting close to having had enough of it, but dh and MIL keep telling me to stop so that irritates me!

good luck with it.

Greedygirl Thu 22-Oct-09 22:26:39

hi thanks for your messages. A lot of my friends have stopped now so I kind of feel like the last man (woman) standing!

Luciemule - that makes sense, my DH has been hinting at me to stop for a long time but I have been happy to continue up until now. I think I need to feel in control of the situation for it to be a success. I have been thinking of a change of routine. He doesn't really like cow's milk so it might have to be a weak hot choc but thanks for reassuring me. LOL at the hand down the top. Generally my DS likes to grope my armpit which is fine if it is accessible and not so fine if he has to dive down the front blush!

Weasle - my MIL never mentions it which means she doesn't approve! My DS will go to sleep (eventually) without a feed if I am out for any reason but not if I am there. But we have come a long way from feeding every 2 hours on demand! Good luck to you as well, whenever you decide to stop.

BarakObamasTransitVan Fri 23-Oct-09 11:23:36

I used to bf ds then put him down still a bit awake, reading him a story and perhaps stroking his hand. To actually drop the feed, dp did all the bedtimes for about a week or so, so the temptation wasn't there, iyswim. Ds was about 18 months, so a fair bit younger but it's still relevant I guess. It was remarkably easy though - I thought it would be dreadful. Ds didn't really like cows milk or formula, nor hot choc (still doesn't) so we didn't bother trying.

Conundrumish Fri 23-Oct-09 11:32:44

I was surprised how easily all of mine gave up (and a bit disappointed! blush). We replaced milk with a cuddle for DC3 at about 9 months by simply picking up for a cuddle and putting back down. Gradually to sleep, then could finally leave to go to sleep alone. Though I remember lots of nights crouched in the dark playing a nintendo in the dark! I sprayed myself with perfume so the smell of milk was weaker.

When I finally stopped feeding at 2 years (to the day), DH simply put to bed and all was fine! Good luck

Lizum Fri 23-Oct-09 21:40:37

Sorry to hijack the thread - but are/were your babies still waking for feeds in the night? My DS is nearly one and still feeds to sleep and in the night too. Not sure I can manage 10 more months of the night feeds!

Greedygirl Fri 23-Oct-09 21:53:34

All this is giving me hope!

Lizum, my DS rarely wakes in the night anymore except when poorly. He used to wake around 5 for a quick feed then go back off. He accepts a drink now if he does wake.

Debs75 Fri 23-Oct-09 22:00:45

It's not just me then? Phew!!
DD2 is 13 months and I feed her to sleep everynight and during the night at least once. I was originally going to feed for just a few months but she loved it so much and it was so easy we carried on. I don't really want to stop yet as it really is easier to feed her then spends hours cuddling a screaming baby. Am kinda hoping that she will just eventually start to drop off herselfhmm

Think i am living in cloud cockoo LAND.

Good lucjk in whatever you try and let us know what works

Giltz Fri 23-Oct-09 22:10:51

Hi Lizum

My DD is 7 months and she is still waking for night feeds my HV suggested replacing the milk with water, I tried that but it didnt work for us.

My DD was just waking for comfort sucking so very annoying. We have now just started controlled crying which is hard especially first few nights, but seems to be working(touch wood)

DD still gets fed until sleepy but as as she shows any signs of sleep styck into her cot.

luciemule Sat 24-Oct-09 10:13:15

Greedygirl - mine have always had very weak hot choc as they don't like cow's milk.
I think being ready to give up/change routine is an important factor; like anything (eg diets/decluttering/dropping bf), you need to be at a place emtionally, when you can actually do it, otherwise, it won't happen.
Fab idea to get DH to do it; I had no choice but to do it on my own, but iof your DH could do the bedtimes, I'm sure it'll work really quickly.

Greedygirl Sat 24-Oct-09 11:56:56

I spoke too soon, what a night we had last night! But I didn't feed him in the night as I was quite sore (one of the reasons I want to stop) and he did accept it eventually and so I think I am going to be brave and stop feeding from now and try a new routine at bedtime tonight. DH is actually out tonight but I think it will be ok although in general I think it is a great idea to have someone else do it.

Debs75 - cloudcuckoo land is rather lovely! I honestly think you have to stop when the time is right for you, most babies in my experience will just keep going. I am tired of it now but I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

Greedygirl Sun 25-Oct-09 19:04:29

Well I finally stopped feeding last night and it went absolutely fine! You'd have thought he would put up a bit more of a fight sadgrin! Apparently a biscuit and a drink and 40 million stories are an OK substitute. No going back now...

Conundrumish Sun 25-Oct-09 23:03:01

Well done. Hope you don't feel too redundant.

Greedygirl Mon 26-Oct-09 10:54:30

Not redundant, just astonished at how easy it far!

luciemule Mon 26-Oct-09 18:54:31

well done greedygirl! You must be

Greedygirl Tue 27-Oct-09 07:54:27

Thanks Luciemule, your encouragement helped smile.

Frrrightattendant Tue 27-Oct-09 07:59:57

I wish I could stop! Ds won't drink cow's milk at all, or formula, he is 2 and a half and I don't have a DH to settle him instead of me.

Both times I've tried to rock him to sleep he became hysterical and I gave in after about 20 minutes walking round with him screaming sad last time was months ago.

Any tips gratefully received...

ChairmumMiaow Tue 27-Oct-09 08:06:02

21mo DS always wants milk at bedtime if I am around but is (and has been for some time) pretty easy about it when I am obviously not there.

After a BF he will accept cuddles from DH or (more recently) from me and go to sleep, but its fairly easy as he's been in a toddler bed since about 14mo

ChairmumMiaow Tue 27-Oct-09 08:06:42

21mo DS always wants milk at bedtime if I am around but is (and has been for some time) pretty easy about it when I am obviously not there.

After a BF he will accept cuddles from DH or (more recently) from me and go to sleep, but its fairly easy as he's been in a toddler bed since about 14mo

gorionine Tue 27-Oct-09 08:13:51

I stopped DD4 whe she was just over 2yo she will be 3 in two weeks and cannot remember ever being Bfed! I am happy that she was not traumatised but I would have loved for her to have the nice memories of it for a bit longer!

luciemule Tue 27-Oct-09 09:31:17

frightattendant - don't worry too much about the milk thing. As long as your DS is having enough calcium from other sources, he'll be fine. Humans are the only mammals that drink milk after weaning!

Frrrightattendant Tue 27-Oct-09 10:18:57

Thanks Lucie,
I suppose I was more worried about him having 'something' he could attach to and use to get to sleep iyswim...dummy so far not successful!!

Greedygirl Tue 27-Oct-09 12:46:36

Hi Frrrightattendant - something that I think helped us was that I started to say "nearly all gone" then "all gone now" when he had been feeding for ages and he did used to pop off. When we eventually stopped the other night I told him in the bath that my milk was all gone and we waved goodbye to it sad! So I think he had got used to the idea that I didn't have an infinite supply of milk! My DH hasn't really helped in the whole process, my DS used to just get more distressed if I was in the house but not putting him to bed. It is really hard isn't it?

luciemule Tue 27-Oct-09 13:03:32

Good point GG about being in the house but not actually putting them to bed - I used to pop to tesco for half an hour to pick up some milk and by the time I got back DD1 was asleep usually.

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