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I didn't manage to BF first, desperately want to with dc2 - encouragement needed

(15 Posts)
brockleybelle Wed 21-Oct-09 13:53:05

I was hoping to hear some positive stories that will encourage me.

I had a nightmare of a time trying to breastfeed ds1. I found it impossible to get him to latch on properly - in a lot of pain. Kept getting engorged. Often felt ill and very tired. Sadly I gave up when he was 10 days old as I just couldn't cope with it any longer.

I'm expecting dc2 and am so desperate to BF this one. But I fear a repeat of last time. I'd feel extremely sad if it happened again.

So, has anyone got any positive stories where first time round was a complete nightmare but 2nd time round was much easier. What made it easier?


invlanderen Wed 21-Oct-09 14:08:26

I think the knowledge that it might be hard second time round really helped. The idea that bf might be difficult hadn´t occured to me prior to the birth.

2nd time round was still hard but DD2 seemed a better bf than dd1, so it does partly depend on the baby.

2nd time round I also knew about Lansiloh and that helped, as did nipple shields when I was desperate, but not used too much as they seemed to encourage engorgement.

Reading much more re bf was also useful, including a great book "Breastfeeding made Simple". This gave me a lot of confidence.

NotQuiteCockney Wed 21-Oct-09 14:10:24

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Now is the right time to find your local BF support. Help with the latch in the first few days can make a world of difference.

brockleybelle Sat 31-Oct-09 19:23:51

Thank you, ladies. Will look for that book Invlan.
Notquite, there was BF support at the hosp with counsellors do ward rounds, and the HV and midwives on home visits tried to help, but I just couldn't get the hang of it. That's not to say I won't seek their help this time around, it's just that last time I really (naively) thought that with their help I'd manage it

HalloweenIsSofaKingScary Sat 31-Oct-09 20:07:35

It hadn't occurred to me when I was pregnant with DS1 that I might struggle to breast feed. I had no idea of the realities of looking after a newborn or breast feeding.

I think your second isn't quite so much of a shock. I did a lot more reading beforehand and made sure I knew where help was when I needed it. I did need it.

But I do think some of it was due to the differences between my two DSs. DS1 wasn't really bothered and had a crap latch. DS2 is a booby monster and has a great latch.

I FF DS1 from day 3 but I'm still BFing DS2 (7.5months)

CoonRapids Sat 31-Oct-09 20:30:34

Bear in mind that it is likely that your 2nd time experience will be different to the 1st and hopefully it will be a bit easier. I didn't manage to establish bf with my first but my 2nd and 3rd babies have been fine.

In my case think it was partly because more confident handling a baby 2nd/3rd time round, more straightforward births and babies who were less sleepy in the 1st few hours, better level of midwife support to help latch the baby on quickly after the birth and feeling relaxed having given birth in a lovely quiet birth centre (was busy London hospital 1st time roung).

Write explicitly on your birth plan that you had trouble bf last time and you require support to latch the baby on straight after the birth. That's what I wrote for my 2nd birth! I wanted to be clear that although I was a 2nd time mum, I was a bf beginner...

Good luck.

dawntigga Sun 01-Nov-09 18:26:09

My first 6 weeks were very hard - not going to sugar coat it for you, but I managed (with the support of dp) to get through them and it's been ok since then.

If your latch isn't great listen to what people suggest and try everything. I used a diagonal position in the end which worked a treatsmile


leapyearbaby Mon 02-Nov-09 01:25:14

hi, i know lots of women who didn't feed first or even second children but went on to successfully feed the third. Knowledge is power! You know to expect you may have problems and to get help as soon as possible. it could be problem free though so be positive. Every baby knows to suck but they aren't all great at latching on properly and a poor latch is responsible for nearly all the problems women face - mastitis, sore nipples, not enough milk, you name it, if you can get the latch sorted which can take time, you're home free. I had help with my lil un's latch in week three and it was a pain for a few days breaking him off then on properly etc until he got the hang of it, but 20 months later we're still at it. My sis fed three and said they were all very different. Make use of the round the ward counsellors if you're lucky enough to have them - they will be more informed and up to date than possibly some older school midwives, some of which are quick to push the bottle. Very best of luck and i hope you both do well x

daisy71 Mon 02-Nov-09 15:18:34

Hi, I had a dreadful time trying to breast feed DD1, ended up doing mixed feeding at first just to get some milk into her and then gave up at 6 weeks and just f/f.
I now have a 3 week old and am managing to exclusively b/f. It's going really well so far (touch wood), so it is possible!
Good luck

Reallytired Mon 02-Nov-09 20:49:13

congratulations on your pregnancy.

I suggest that you try and get a long to La Leche League meetings. Breastfeeding is often a nightmare to establish and it really helps to have as much knowledge on how to avoid/ overcome common problems.

I also recommend that you read the book
food of love you can get it on amazon.

It is also worth reading up on biological nuturing.

angelbymoonlight Mon 02-Nov-09 21:00:25


I had difficulty feeding my dd however I am still feeding ds who will be 2 on friday.

Best advice I got was to attend my local breastfeeding support group.

Ask your mw where your nearest one is, in our area most are run alongside the mw drop in sessions so are available to you ante natally usually run by peer supporters who have had training.

Found mine to be a godsend in those early weeks, also do not be afraid to ask for help in hospital.

There are also national helplines run by bfn etc, and depending on where you live there might be further support available.

onemoretimetoday Mon 02-Nov-09 21:08:08

I only managed a week with my 1st and then 3months with my second which I was pleased with. I am now expecting my 3rd and have spent a lot of time reading these forums and have put together a word document with all the BF support groups I could get to and their times.My plan is to go to 2 a week to start with and when my sister told me that she threw away my sterliser my decision has been made, I'm not forking out £26 for a new microwave one.

ejbab Tue 03-Nov-09 04:44:23

Hi brockleybelle

I had a really tough time feeding DD1 and switched to formula at 3 months. Throughout my second pregnancy I had a gut feeling that things would be difficult again but this time I was absolutely determined that I would do whatever it took to breastfeed her and would only stop after trying everything.
Unfortunately things were just as difficult with DD2 - big nips, small mouth, crap latch etc.
To cut a long story short, I ended up using nipple shields for 4 weeks, seeing the hospital lactation counsellor several times (who kept an eye on my supply which is important when using shields), spending hours obsessively searching internet sites for tips on the 'perfect' latch and letting anyone with any possible ideas and advice - health visitors/ midwives/ friends have a go at latching DD2 on! In the end what helped was using an exaggerated latch (I think it's called) and getting to the 8 week mark when everything became pain free (that little mouth had grown perhaps).
In the back of my head I told myself that I would even pay to get a private lactation consultant to come to my house for the day as a last, expensive, resort.
So although second time around was tough going, I think being prepared and being really bloody minded about wanting to BF was the key to my success.
Also, the knowledge that those first weeks go quickly and you won't be wandering around without a top on with your sore boobs covered with lansinoh for the rest of your life (which is kind of how I felt first time around!)
Tomorrow I'll be celebrating 6 months of BFing with a nice glass of wine and hoping DD2 will be up for another six months.

brockleybelle Fri 06-Nov-09 13:14:34

Ladies, thank you all so so much for all your advice, kind words and support. I don't have time right now to respond to different ladies individually, but will do when I have the time, hopefully over the weekend.

Thanks again! x

cory Fri 06-Nov-09 13:42:38

I struggled with dc1- managed to carry on until 11 monhs but nearly killed myself in the process (and her). Dc2 was a totally different kettle of fish: it went like a dream and could easily have carried on for a year or two. Had to stop for my own medical reasons, but certainly had none of the difficulties with dd. Each child is so different and each experience is so different. What did help was that I had all that hard won experience- and was prepared to shout for help.

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