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Can someone please help me... had NO help from HV or BFC...

(11 Posts)
worriedamy Tue 20-Oct-09 10:45:44

Please help me with this, I don't know what else to do; I am getting close to giving up, which I really do not want to do. I can't get any help off my HV, whos solution was to give DS a bottle. No help from the BFC at the children's centre either, who's solution was 'do you think it might be time to just give up?'. Sorry if the post seems a bit jumbled, I don't know where to start really...

DS is 15 weeks. For the last 3 weeks feeding has become progressively worse, with fighting, crying, pulling on and off the nipple, I am really starting to run out of energy. I am starting to worry that it is starting to have an impact on my supply, as when I wake up in the morning, I don't feel as though I am going to explode, which is usually the case. I don't think the problem is my supply though, as after a feed, I can still get off 3-4 ozs expressing. At about 7 weeks, I started using nipple shields, after 7 weeks of cracked and bleeding nipples, and feeding was great, but I noticed that my boobs weren't emptying properly. I was feeding without the shields for at least one feed a day at this stage, maybe two. I decided to stop using the nipple shields, and for about 2 weeks, this was fine, and DS was feeding okay. My supply shot up, so I was really happy. At this stage, I could get about 6 ozs off one side if DS decided to only feed off one side for a change. Then DS starting pulling off the nipple and crying about 2-3 minutes into a feed. I know the problem wasn't supply, as when he would come off the nipple, I could see the milk pouring out, even squirting out sometimes. He has never had a problem dealing with fast let-down either, carrying on feeding through coughing and spluttering sometimes! It would never bother him enough to come off the nipple. But now he was coming off, arching his back, and going red in the face with crying. I tried winding him, but this didn't seem to be the problem either. So, as he was really hurting me coming off and on the nipple, I would use the shields again if feeding turned into a fight, and this would immedietly settle him. If I then took the nipple shield off again, he would know straight away, and start fighting and screaming again. However, we have now got to the stage where the nipple shields arn't calming him anymore. He still pulls off and on the nipple nearly every other suck, which means the nipple shield keeps coming off my nipple, and the whole thing is hugely frustrating.

I have tried feeding him in every position going, it makes no difference. I have tried feeding him in a different room to usual, this makes no difference. Every feed is a huge fight until he gets that tired that he falls asleep on my boob. He has been teething for a few weeks, and has one tooth coming through where his fang would be, so I wonder if it is that that is bothering him. But I have tried teething gel before/ during a feed, and this doesn't have any effect. I have tried Calpol before a feed, and this doesn't help either. I don't know if he is reacting to my milk and it is hurting his stomach? I was lactose intolerant until I was about 18 months old, and I am wondering whether this could be something similar? However, when he has expressed milk in a bottle on a rare occasion, he takes it fine with no fighting.

I just don't know what to do. I don't really have any BF support in RL, and my HV is a waste of time. He has only put on 10ozs in 3 weeks now, so its only a matter of time before I start getting more pressure to start giving him formula, and I really didn't want that to be a decision I was forced in to. The BFC even said to me 'I'm not used to speaking to breastfeeding mums around here' and asked me to think about maybe it being time to give up. I want to go to at least 6 months

Please help!!

ruddynorah Tue 20-Oct-09 10:58:01

who is this BFC? is she from one of the recognised bodies or is she like a peer supporter?

Ledodgy Tue 20-Oct-09 11:02:08

Is his nose blocked at all do you think? Mine used to get like this when they were snuffly because they had trouble breathing. Saline drops and a nasal aspirator sorted them out.look up his nose and see if it looks blocked.

Ledodgy Tue 20-Oct-09 11:02:57

should say they often didnt have a cold or visible symptoms just two huge globs of snot stuck up each nostril!

worriedamy Tue 20-Oct-09 11:17:05

Ruddy- I'm not sure who she is really, the HV just called her over to me at weighing clinic, and introduced her as the BFC. She was meant to ring me yesterday to see how I had got on over the weekend, but she didn't. I'm not really that suprised either.

Ledodgy- I was wondering about his nose being a bit blocked, and sometimes he does seem a bit snuffly. I will do a snot spot check before his next feed and see if that is any better!! I'll be made up if it is as simple as that, grin!!

fishie Tue 20-Oct-09 11:21:47

amy that's definitely not a real bfc you have spoken to. i am so cross on your behalf, what unhelpful people.

call one of the helplines and speak to a properly trained counsellor, they will help you smile numbers down right hand side

worriedamy Tue 20-Oct-09 11:27:09

thank you fishie

ruddynorah Tue 20-Oct-09 17:30:16

yes ring one of those. very unusual to have a bfc just sat around available at a clinic. could be wrong, but she's probably not a properly trained bfc, more likely a peer supporter or similar. the difference is a few years of study!

reikizen Tue 20-Oct-09 17:36:33

Oh god yes, ring a 'proper' bfc from la leche league or similar. Sounds like you met a maternity assistant or similar who has obviously not got the training or experience to help you. Good luck.

Lobyd Tue 20-Oct-09 17:59:09

Just wondered if you have asked your GP about this? It sounds a bit like the way my 6 week old started feeding last week, wanted food but would fight the nipple (am also using shields) and scream and scream...

Have been prescribed something to help her digest her food. Admittedly your DS is older and it may be unlikley a problem like this would start later, but worth a shot?

Also thrush apparently causes pain when feeding, can be caught from not sterilising stuff properly eg nipple shields...I looked into it when I was worried about my DD, well, I still am of course! But it can be fixed with antibiotics.

I hope things get better for you and your DS and you get the outcome you want.

duende Tue 20-Oct-09 18:36:51

worriedamy, this is exactly what my DS was like from 5 weeks old. I thought he "went off" the breast because of the occassional bottle of ebm he was getting. i thought he was frustrated with having to work much harder on the breast. i went to b/feeding clinic and had two bfc come round but they couldn't help me or explain why my DS was being like this. I started mixed feeding and, as is often the case, at 10 weeks old my LO is exclusively FF anyway, it has now turned out he has acid reflux. he started behaving exatcly the same when bottle feeding. maybe it's worth investigating? Sorry if my post is a bit all over the place - in a rush.

good luck!

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