Bottle feeding and becoming really distressed with problem feeder...

[DawnAS]

I'm really desperate to be told that everything's going to be Ok!!

My DD (first child) is now 18 weeks old and was diagnosed with thrush at 12 weeks, even though we insisted that she'd had it since about 1 week old and weren't taken seriously! They finally agreed that it was one of the worst cases they'd seen and because she had it for so long, had adjusted her feeding accordingly. Hence taking two hours to have a bottle. At this point though, because she had adjusted, she was still gaining weight and continuing along the same centile.

Following treatment for the thrush, suddenly my poor little girl was having to cope with completely different feelings and tastes in her mouth and didn't adjust very well. Also, because having taken such a long time to feed, her stomach couldn't take large feeds.

At 13 weeks she was weighed and she'd dropped from the 25th to the 9th centile. Yesterday she had dropped to the 2nd, although she is still gaining weight. She's finally adjusting to taking more milk at each feed and reduced her feeding time to 30 mins, but she's so inconsistent. One day she will take 30oz and the next, only 24oz.

Health-wise, she poos and wees daily and there have never been any problems with that. She's very rarely sick (last time she vomited was about 4 weeks ago) and she's very smiley and happy. She's alert and very active.

So, should I be stressing so much about her feeds? Other than her weight, her length and head circumference have remained on the same centile as her birth.

I'm getting pressured (not by health professionals, but family) to wean her, but I know she's not ready for that as she's still so young and I'm concerned that with her having to adapt to milk with a thrush-free mouth, that trying to introduce a spoon or solids will be totally the wrong thing.

Please someone tell me that she's going to be OK!! I'm stressing everytime she doesn't finish a bottle and she just smiles at me!!

Any help or advice, or just confirmation that I'm doing Ok, would be great - PLEASE!!

[mumface]

She will be ok! I know how hard it is, I've just had to walk away for 5 minutes tonight in tears as it's really frustrating. You are doing your best, having patience and persevering is the best you can do. If she is really not getting enough milk, surely she will wake in the night hungry? If so, she can make up for it then, until it's time to be weaned. Don't stress over weighing and percentiles they only make you worse, you can tell with your own eyes if your baby is too skinny. They are all different.

[SarfEasticated]

I think babies are inconsistent, I just gave my dd as much milk as she wanted when she wanted it, as I would have done if I had been able to bf. I don't think you should worry (or wean!) she sounds adorable.

BTW - how did you know she had thrush. What were the symptoms?

[DawnAS]

Thank you so much ladies, I could just cry with relief at your responses!! How do these gorgeous little gems make us feel so guilty and inadequate?! Well, in my case anyway...

Ellie had a very thick white/yellow coating on her tongue from about a week old. When I raised it with the HV, she said it was residue milk. Eventually at her 8 week check, the GP confirmed it was thrush and prescribed some medecine. There was a slight improvement after a week so we continued it for another week and then GP told us to stop, even though we were convinced that it hadn't cleared up. I then spoke on the phone to another GP a week later who said that she wouldn't be feeding if she still had it. So I backed off, thinking that I would be accused of being a neurotic Mother!! Finally, in despair we saw another GP at her 12 week jab appointment who told us that it was the worst case that she had seen!! I was so angry that it had got to that stage! Her little tongue is healthy and pink now though, but I'm keeping a very close eye...

So SarfEasticated, if she doesn't take anymore milk, do I just assume that she's had enough and doesn't want anymore and just leave it? Part of my worry is that I am going back to work on Monday. Luckily the CM lives just down the road and I work from home, so I'm close if there is a problem, but I don't want to be stressing about her feeding when I'm not there to monitor it.

And breeeeeathe...

xx

[SarfEasticated]

I don't want to give you any duff info as am not medically trained or anything like that, but if you think she is fine in herself and just not very hungry then I wouldn't worry about a day with a bit of a drop in appetite.

[DawnAS]

Hi Sarf,

Unfortunately this has been going on for quite some time now, eversince her thrush cleared up... They did say that it would take some time though as for the first 12 weeks of her life, she'd been feeding with a thrush covered tongue!

I was upset again this morning because she only took 5.5ozs and I can't understand how she can sleep for between 10-12 hours a night, without waking and not be hungry!!

She does seem absolutely fine in herself though, happy, smiley and generally healthy. I think it's me that's stressing too much!! But it's difficult not to when they say your LO isn't gaining weight as quickly as she should, yet she doesn't seem to be bothered in drinking her milk...

Thank you all for your support though!!

xxx

[HeidiT]

hi DawnAs

I have had a better day today with feeding I have just thought I am gonna relax with it and if she is not wanting it I'll leave it for 5 mins and try again and so far so good. At 7am she has 7oz she had 4 downstairs and then was getting fussy so had a play in her cot I had a shower then she had another 2oz and left 1oz which I was not gonna let bother me. It still took an hour to give it to her but I was not as stressed and managed to get ready in the meantime instead of sitting there trying to get her to have it.

I spoke to HV as DR referred me to hospital, I think it may be silent relfux which no doctors seemed to have considered. Today I also fed her sitting up and she seemed much more comfy with that.

Have you tried feeding her in her bouncer chair if you have one or car seat. My DS had all her bottle very happily the other day whilst out shopping as she was in her car seat so think the sitting up helps.

I have only thought of silent reflux yest from what people on here have put. Maybe have a look at the threads you may have same problem.

Good luck

[DawnAS]

Oooh, what a good idea about trying to feed her sitting up - thank you for that Heidi!! I will certainly give it a go.

Also, I actually called the Aptamil Helpline this morning (yes, I really am getting desperate... ) and surprisingly they were soooo helpful. So much more than any of the HVs that I've spoken to who just seem to conflict each other in relation to advice!

The woman basically said in no uncertain terms, that a baby has an excellent survival instinct and will not starve themselves. She said that if they are hungry they will take all that they need and if they're not, then they won't. She said that some babies are not consistent at all with feeding and that also, the HVs should look at the build of the parents aswell as the child. I'm 5ft 8 and size 10-12, so I would imagine that Ellie is going to be tall and thin, she's never going to be a chubby little thing.

She did also say that some time before a tooth appears, the teeth begin to move inside the gums and that it really hurts. She said that when that starts to happen, babies will basically take the smallest amount that they can to just fulfill their immediate appetite and then stop and take more later on as it's really painful for them to suck on a bottle. So that makes sense to me as I could feel something in Ellie's mouth a couple of weeks ago, that could be a tooth!!

The silent refulx bit could also be a possibility aswell, although she hasn't cried as much mid-feed today, so I'm not sure.

Gosh, don't these little ones cause us grief??!!

I'm so glad that you've had a better day though - there is hope for us yet!! I definitely need to stop stressing aswell as I go back to work on Monday (albeit working from home) and Ellie will be with a CM for 2 days and then my SIL for 2 days and I don't want to ruin our final couple of days before I go back...

Keep in touch hun and we'll get through this together - somehow!!

xxx

[HeidiT]

hi Dawnas how is the feeding going now????