night time feeding at nearly eight months

[Comfeylala]

DD is nearly eight months old and I?ve been back at work since she was six months. All the books I?ve read say that she shouldn?t need feeding at night as she?s now eating three small meals plus formula a day, but I still find myself breastfeeding her at 11ish, 3 or 4am and then again at about 5am or 6am. I admit this might just be my path of least resistance ? we live in a one bedroom flat and I feed her at night whenever she cries, but I?m getting mutterings from friends about ?rod? and ?back?. Should I just think ?this too will pass? or try water/ shush patting etc, etc (although I fear this will make me even more exhausted at work)?.

Wise words most appreciated

[ZZZenAgain]

Sorry I don't have any wise words but I do feel for you, must be exhausting. I wonder why she needs a feed at 5-6 if she has had one at 3-4. I should have thought she would sleep a bit longer after that.

It definitely will change eventually but I don't think you are making a rod for your back. What would happen if you did not feed her, she would cry and you would be awake anyway.

I wonder if she is a bit more active in her sleep (rolling over?) and if this is waking her and if she really needs a feed or would just be comforted if you held her hand say till she dropped off again. Does that sound unrealistic to you? I used to do that with dd sometimes - but she slept right next to our bed, so I could just groggily reach across

[TheIggorcist]

Ahh, the books... Mine fed before bed (7 ish) then once in middle of night (ALWAYS around 3!) and then sometime between 5 and 7. He did this until about 13 months, then started sleeping through and has done so ever since, colds/teething excepting. So, I don't think it's unusual, no! I'm sure mostly he wasnt' hungry at 3am, but was awake and wanted a nice sleepy thing to get him back over - I did try methods from the "No cry sleep solution" (like shortening the length of the feed) but ultimately he just grew out of it. Maybe work out which of the feeds is the biggest problem for you, and try to work on a way to cut that one out? Good luck!

[fgpl]

Hi Comfeylala. My dd is also just 8 months. We stopped breastfeeding about 4 weeksago but I am afraid we are still giving her a bottle at 11 and one if nothing else works between 5 and six.These were times she always fed when breastfeeding.
To be honest I know we should try harder to break this habit but she doesn't have much milk during the day and she settles so well with some milk so I am not worrying about what people say I should be doing. DD isn't a milk monster who guzzles loads of formula so I feel happier knowing she is satisfied with the feeds she has.
I am absolutely certain that if I had continued BF then the late night feed and the early morning feed would continue. I would try and cut out the middle of the night but I wouldn't struggle too hard if you feel shes not ready yet.
I know from my son whos now nearly 5 that in a few months time it will all have worked itself out and I will wonder what I was fretting about.

[fgpl]

Hi Comfeylala. My dd is also just 8 months. We stopped breastfeeding about 4 weeksago but I am afraid we are still giving her a bottle at 11 and one if nothing else works between 5 and six.These were times she always fed when breastfeeding.
To be honest I know we should try harder to break this habit but she doesn't have much milk during the day and she settles so well with some milk so I am not worrying about what people say I should be doing. DD isn't a milk monster who guzzles loads of formula so I feel happier knowing she is satisfied with the feeds she has.
I am absolutely certain that if I had continued BF then the late night feed and the early morning feed would continue. I would try and cut out the middle of the night but I wouldn't struggle too hard if you feel shes not ready yet.
I know from my son whos now nearly 5 that in a few months time it will all have worked itself out and I will wonder what I was fretting about.

[Comfeylala]

Thank you ZZenAgain - she is rolling over and 4 new teeth have come through in the last few weeks, so I wonder is it?s that. Before I posted she'd started crying so I started off trying to gently pat her back to sleep in her cot but it just seemed to escalate her crying so I fed her back to sleep (there doesn?t seem like there?s any real pattern to her waking apart from the 5ish one).

[Comfeylala]

TheIggorcist - I love the grow out of it reassurance and fgpl I hope you're right about fretting (its been true about so many things...) I sometimes worry I'm being lazy not trying other solutons and if only I knew that in x weeks it would be over I wouldn't worry so much about it.

[TheIggorcist]

I think it's very easy to see a "problem" when there really isn't one. The only problem (and it's a bigee) is you needing more rest. So maybe look for other solutions to that? can someone else get up for one of the feeds (baby likely to always demand milk if its you she sees). Getting 3 doses of bm must be a good thing for her though, surely! I think you should get off to bed now for some extra kip!

[Comfeylala]

I will go to sleep now and thank you all so much for your kindness and advice - most appreciated.

[ZZZenAgain]

actually that's a point with sharing the feeds. A friend of mine used a breast pump and left a bottle of breast milk (well part of a bottle I suppose) in the fridge and her partner took it in turns to do the night feeding so each got one night half way decent rest.

[Comfeylala]

Couldn't resist checking before bed, but good idea ZZZenAgain - I don't want her to have formula at night but could certainly express for that dreaded 3 am wake up.

[Aldegirl]

Hello Comfeylala,

I was about to write asking what you asked! My ds is 7.5 months old and 10kgs, has 3 meals a day plus bf when he wakes, after each of his two naps, then bf PLUS 9oz formula before bed - and still wakes 2-3 ties in the night like your wee one. So, sleepdeprived solidarity to you...

I know it will pass but I also know that I can't deal with this tiredness for much longer. Like you said, if someone were to promise me this would end in X months/weeks I would grin and bear it, but it might last for YEARS, I know babies of 2 or 3 who still wake up loads in the night for milk and the thought terrifies me. Also ds is huge, he doesn't need the night calories, and he doesn't really feed much when he does wake so it's not hunger it's boog-to-sleep aaddiction and it's making me ill with tiredness.

SO anyway (rant over, useful bit starts here)I've decided to do something about it. After various failed tactics (involving horrendous screaming at all hours, me capitulating in tears and bf to sleep, rod for back guilt and despair) what seemed to work last night was that whenever ds woke I gave him warm sweet chamomile tea. I made it up in a flask beforehand and whenever he woke I gave it to him in his cot with lots of shhh soft singing and patting and the wee musical star he has for going to sleep. The idea being that it's not the boob and it's not milk either but it's something warm and slowly I'll make it less and less sweet so he ends up just with warm water and hopefully decides it's not worth waking for?

Watch this space...hope this helps. Let me know how things go with you

[Comfeylala]

Another early wake up - but last night she did sleep until 4am, so better... Do let me know if the chamomile continues to work!

[alittlebitshy]

My ds is almost 15 months and is still feeding in the night. grr. But don't panic - all babies are so different, and don't do anything that doesn't feel right to you.