Hi, I've never actually posted before but I just wanted to respond to you because it sounds like you have some friends that are either lying about their babies' sleeping habits, aren't actually breastfeeding or have very unusual babies! My baby is now 22 weeks old and she still feeds every half hour in the evening. She has never slept fore that 6 hours at a time and usually 3 or 4. Another mum from my NCT group has a baby at 18 weeks who cluster feeds from 5-midnight. They all do it to some extent. I had a breakthrough with mine when she started to get off to sleep at 8pm about 6 weeks ago but she feeds all evening up to that and still wakes in the night. What you have to remember is that it's REALLY EARLY DAYS. 16 weeks is nothing when you thing about it. I went swimming for the first time without my baby last week. I've never left her for more than an hour in the evening. I've actually only left her for up to three hours all together and on about 3 or 4 occasions. That's not because I'm a crazy clingy mum, it's just because breastfeeding is a full time occupation that you have to give your life up to. I don't actually enjoy breastfeeding, I think I'd have bonded just as well with my baby if I had bottle fed but I just decided to do it and then stuck with it. Now, Of course I'm in a pickle cos she won't take a bottle so I'm trying to get her onto a cup. Do you express? Some people find that the answer but I can't get much out and I hate doing it anyway. Just think, in two months she'll be going on solids anway. Have you got much support? To be honest, I'm not like you in wanting to regain normality. Having a baby transforms what was normal so I'll never get my old life back anyway and I really wouldn't want it. Yes, it's bloody exhausting writing this at 1.30am because although my baby is asleep my bodyclock is so out that I can't sleep and I know she'll need feeding in an hour anyway. However, it's the toddler tamtrums that I think I'll find more difficult!!!
Often she'll get frustrated in the evening and go and off the breast every few seconds. Sometimes just leaving her for 5 minutes to cry really does work. I've never read Gina Ford and of course I don't agree with what I've heard about her but I know that as she's got older sometimes my baby gets so tired she doesn't know what she wants. Just five minutes in the dark (now she's learnt to suck her thumb) is enough to send her to sleep. You could try it, you might be surprised.
As for health visitors, my experience is that they are a complete waste of space, I went to my clinic last week to ask advice about weaning. As usual I saw one I'd never seen before and she actually told me I've nearly got to 6 months so I may as well give up b'feeding!
B'feeding has been a positive experience for me in that it has increased my self confidence because I know I can survive on four hours of broken sleep and I have an iron will when it comes to continuing something I don't particularly enjoy with no support other that DH.
I don't think my baby gets stressed, she just gets tired, hungry and bored. It's hard working out which one it is a lot of the time. I'm sure your baby won't have heart failure, just stay calm and do all the normal things-feed, sing, swing her in your arms. Have you had her checked for tongue tie? I've heard that it can often not be picked up on and even a minor one can obviously make feeding frustrating.