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How do you stop night feeding/comfort sucking?

(17 Posts)
Divvy Thu 08-Oct-09 09:11:37

I have fed on demand, he is 14 monbths old. I have fed him to sleep. I let him suck for comfort. Thats what I thought you are ment to do when you breastfeed.

He now wants comfort all through the night.

I had another thread, but I am still not sure this is a sleep problem, but a breastfeeding problem.

Its getting major, and I am feeling like I regret breastfeeding now as I find myself in a nightmare situation, that I cant see anyway out of. sad

notasausage Thu 08-Oct-09 10:02:27

The only way out IMO is just to stop. Substitute bf with water at night. There will be crying but you will be amazed how quickly that will stop as he gets the message. He doesn't need milk at night as I'm sure you know. Get support of DP as it's often easier if someone else settles him at night so he doesn't smell your milk. No reason why you shouldn't keep feeding in the day if you want though. Stick with it - took us 3 night and we've never looked back.

Divvy Thu 08-Oct-09 10:30:57

We are moving beds around at the weekend. He is still in the cot next to me, so he is going into his own room, and my 2 yo is moving into her older sisters room as last night I tried to let him cry for a bit but it woke 2 yo up. This way she will be the other side of the house and wont be disturbed by the crying.

I am thinking also maybe wearing bra at night with few tops on top, so when I go in the message is shop is shut till morning?

GhostWriter Thu 08-Oct-09 10:37:33

Have you read Jay Gordon's night weaning plan? Google, is online. Is primarily aimed at co-sleeping babies but you can adapt it. Have a look if you haven't.

Divvy Sat 10-Oct-09 08:02:52

Tonight is the night! The big move today [smile and sad

Funny thing is, I couldnt sleep so have got up early, dh is still in bed next to his cot...the little bugger has stired, BUT has gone back to sleep!

Its me isnt it, its me that wakes him! He must be able to smell me! I know if I had been in there he would have woke up!

Anyway, no sadness tonight, as I am going to watch TV in bed for first time in a long time! smile

ninja Sat 10-Oct-09 08:11:58

DD slept a lot better in her own room (we moved her at 7 months). Saying that she still wakes at least once a night (and recently went through a stage of waking 3 times hmm)

I agree you need a partner to settle him for a few nights.

Good Luck!

whomovedmychocolate Sat 10-Oct-09 08:16:12

We found with DD the trick was to increase the time between night feeds till they crashed into each other (ie you get nothing between 10 and 2 and then 10 and 2:10 - gradually spacing out and patting/cuddling in between). Take ages but did work.

Don't feel sad about this - it's lovely that you are such a source of comfort - PITA I agree, but lovely too. DS is nearly 15 months and just the same.

I'd be tackling it but he's not well at the minute so I plan to wait till he's definitely not sick before I start again.

Divvy Sat 10-Oct-09 08:29:03

So what about feeding to sleep? I do this for the day time nap and night time, should I stop this, and put to bed awake? <panic at the thought!>

whomovedmychocolate Sat 10-Oct-09 08:55:51

I didn't bother - DD got to a certain age and stopped doing it. You can try the Pantley push off though if you want to.

ninja Sat 10-Oct-09 10:14:39

with day time - dd1 just stopped having naps at 18 months so wasn't really an issue. DP had always put her to bed sometimes but tbh she was an nightmare going to sleep with or without bf.

If your ds goes to sleep well and it's not a problem to you then don't worry.

When you can reason with him when he's a bit older it might be easier

DitaVonCheese Sat 10-Oct-09 13:45:25

How is it going OP? Similar situation here - DD is nearly 13 mo, co-sleeps and has always been fed to sleep and when she wakes in the night. She now has a tendency to treat me as an all-night buffet and I'm generally too desperate to get back to sleep to argue, but it's leading to very disturbed sleep for both of us plus getting very uncomfortable (back and nipples!). Looked into night weaning a couple of weeks ago and Dr Sears made me feel very guilty about it ... Now wondering what on earth to do.

Divvy Sat 10-Oct-09 16:14:53

DitaVonCheese Well his cot is now in the room next to us. I tried to put him down like noraml for lunch time lap, I had fed him to sleep as always...he went loopy when I layed him in his cot!

Think we are going to be in for a very rough night...

I am going to stop breastfeeding at night, as him feeding every 1 and half hours is now getting sore with me being 8 weeks pregnant as well.

I want to carry on feeding in the day though.

I know I am in for a rough few (maybe more) nights, but something has got to change, as I am desparate for sleep and I can see him getting worse.

I would have been very happy to cary on if it was just 2 times a night but 5-6 is too much for me.

I know I give him comfort, and that he is not really hungry, but he is asking too much of me now sad

You could follow this thread on not how to do it! wink

ChairmumMiaow Sat 10-Oct-09 16:38:23

We never really cracked full time co-sleeping but we had a frequent waker and we got the feeds to a level we were all happy with in several phases.

He has been in his own room when well since 6mo, which did improve his sleeping a bit but he was still waking several times a night.

Each time I felt like he was not really feeding, but just sucking for comfort an thought he should be able to go a bit longer DH and I would agree a timeframe during the night when he would do all the settling. Although there were tears this always worked quickly when he was really ready to go longer between feeds.

At about 18mo when we started to think about TTC we decided he didn't need to feed in the night (as he slept through till 5 until he discovered he could get out of his toddler bed and climb into ours, which meant he wouldn't let DH settle him). Basically I went cold turkey one night when I had had enough and clamped the duvet over my chest and told him nicely that there was no more milk till morning 'cos mummy was tired and needed to go back to sleep.

In 4-5 nights the nighttime was cracked. He still wakes at 5 and really wants milk - he would just doze for 5 minutes then try diving for milk for a bit until I let him feed at 6 so we gave up on that bit.

He still wakes most nights but he just climbs into bed and goes to sleep, normally quite quickly. Its much less disturbing than feeding him or trying to settle him another way.

Re feeding to sleep, DS (now 20mo) feeds to sleep with me but will settle for DH without any milk at all (so long as I am not around). It generally doesn't seem to affect his sleep and its too good a tool to throw away IMO!

Good luck, and HTH.

Cassidycat Sat 10-Oct-09 22:41:00

I'm sad that you are feeling that you are almost regreting bf. Remember all the fantastic benifits that it's giving you and your little one and well done for bf this long!!

I did same as Notasausage when DS 6 months and i has to go back to work. DP was on settling duty armed with bottle of water (or you could use a cup i guess) and was going in giving sushes and pats. Anyway there was a fair bit of crying the first night but by night 3 DS decided that water was not worth waking up for.... He went from waking up 2 hourly for night feeds to often sleeping through within days. I carried on bf til 16m when he lost interest. He didn't seem traumatised by this ( i think that I was more traumatised than him IFYWIM due to listening to him crying at times during those 1st couple of nights ).

Anyway I just wanted to say please don't dispair and blame yourself smile. Maybe a slightly different approach for an older one though, maybe you could do something to mark the end of night time bf and explain it to him or her?? Something like some big boy pj's or special duvet cover that is only for 'big boys' would have appealed to my DS if he was a bit older when we were doing this. Just a thought....

Cassidycat Sat 10-Oct-09 22:46:34

Hope your nights get better soon Divvy and Ditavoncheese. I would suggest making a plan that you feel comfortable with, and then stick to it like glue and be strong. Not easy while sleep deprived at 3am I know! Can you get someone else to help you for a few nights??

Divvy Sun 11-Oct-09 10:07:05

Well....He slept from 8pm till 2am!!!! in his cot, in his own room, then slept the rest of night in my bed. This isnt what we planned to do, but he only fed 3 times and there was no crying and we all got some good sleep.

We decided not to let him cry as he has a cough still and now has a yucky eye.

Plus we got a lay-in till 8:30am!

I can live with 2-3 feeds a night, and when he is 100% maybe he will start to go even longer till he wants his first feed of the night....

OR.....this was just a one off fluke!

Divvy Mon 19-Oct-09 10:47:07

Just another update a week on.

I stopped trying to do this as he wasnt well, and he took to my bed for most of the night during the week.

then as he was better Thursday I restarted my plan again.

He now goes down awake 8pm and cries for around 10 minutes, then wakes at 2am for a fed. Put him down awake, no crying, then feds 6am then awake at 9am!

It wasnt as painful as i thought it would be! grin

I feel so much better now that I am getting some good sleep

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