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things i muse on here in the 9th circle of bf hell

(15 Posts)
chibi Tue 06-Oct-09 14:44:40

can i really run out of milk after 4 months bf?

can i really feed on child to 18 months and fail with the next?

even though he haas >6 heavy wet nappies a day, poos daily, has a lovely colour, isn't skinny, is alert + smiley can he really be failing to thrive?

does it make sense that a boy on the 25th, 9th, 2nd and 0.4th centile are all growing at the same rate until after 20 weeks?

if that is so, why is ds expected to put on weight as a greater ratio of his current weight than a bigger baby - he's nearly doubled his birthweight already at 4 months!

am i the only person who thinks it is worth it to continue (besides my dh)

am i the only person besides dh who thinks i can do this?

how can i take anything anyone says seriously when it is interspersed with great advice like 'if you do top up use brand x as it is closest to breastmilk' and 'make sure you are eating plenty - have more cake!' and ' if you are stressed you will stop making milk' (tell that to the women of my family who bfed through bombing raids!!!)

why am i still enjoying feeding him despite all this grief and bullshit?

StealthPolarBear Tue 06-Oct-09 14:47:04

is he losing weight? or just not putting it on quite as fast as he 'should'?
you sound like you're being given some bad advice, but you know that!

reikizen Tue 06-Oct-09 14:48:49

You obviously enjoy a challenge! Good for you, I think you know yourself and your baby and if you genuinely belive he is thriving, I'm sure he is!I think the eating more cake advice is brilliant! I'm going to follow that myself...

Habbibu Tue 06-Oct-09 14:49:16

Who's saying all this to you?

chibi Tue 06-Oct-09 14:57:20

he has never not gained weight, it has varied from 12 oz/2 weeks to 8 oz/2 weeks over the course of his 18 weeks.

this is all from super helpful hvs.

i have seen a lactation consultant repeatedly who is happy with everything - she has observed entire feeds.

he is being weighed here at home in a week as a test i guess, we better not fail har har.

i was told to top up with 3 oz formula 9=(said brand x) but i thought nuts to that, if more milk he needs then i can do that.

i am feeding now more in the night - every 3-4 hourly. he gets as many sides as he will take.

all the hvs say 'you have done v well' but the subtext is 'hadn't you ought to jack it in then hmm, you've done your best etc etc formula isn't poison you know' which is true but he doesn't need it.

if he did, i would give it.

he is just small i think. as was his sister, a 9th centile wonder, despite being term - ds was early by 5+ weeks.

i

chibi Tue 06-Oct-09 14:58:56

i want to run away to a desert island with him.

i am dreading this next weigh in as he has had on cold after another this month (thanks toddler dd) and I just know he will not have put on enough for them to leave me be

TrickorTreatTrunkThighs Tue 06-Oct-09 15:05:11

I'm sure someone else will say it, but do you have to go to the weigh ins?

And FWIW both of my dd's rarely put on more than 4oz in a week - honestly. Any gain was good enough for me.

DD1 fed til 13 months, DD2 til 22 months.

You can do it!!

tiktok Tue 06-Oct-09 15:12:18

chibi - I don't understand. Is the only thing your HV is concerned about the fact he is on the 9th centile?

Someone has to be

You don't have to agree to him being weighed. Especially not by an HV who thinks you eating cake makes your baby gain weight....and tells you stress has an effect on weight too

chibi Tue 06-Oct-09 15:13:31

this will officially be the last one.

this bollox all began 5 weeks ago when i went to the bf clinic at the hospital to make sure his latch wasn't getting lazy, a helpful hv noticed that he had only put on 10oz in the previous 2 weeks rather than 12 and had a huge freakout, denting my confidence massively.

i was ordered to return for more weighins, and he gained 8oz per 2 weeks for the next 2 fortnights.

my dh thinks i am crazy - 'look at him, he's thriving, stop having him weighed'

chibi Tue 06-Oct-09 15:16:19

he was on the 9th and over 6 weeks has moved to the 2nd. this is a catastrophic development i guess.

he's going to fall further i am sure as both 9th centilers and 2nd centilers gain at the same rate from what i can see on the graph (before 20 weeks that is)

this is like belonging to some infernal branch of weight watchers - 'o dear he hasn't gained enough, you haven't been eating enough cake'

countryhousehotel Tue 06-Oct-09 15:22:10

chibi I am reading the Babyled Weaning book at the moment in preparation for 2nd baby due in December. One thing it talks about is reasons people use for weaning early/giving up breast feeding and one of them is linked to a slow down in growth rate at about 4 months....just thought you'd want to know that it seems to be a recognised pattern at his age and according to the book absolutely not a reason to wean early or give up breastfeeding (can't remember which of those 2 the author is writing about but the point being there is nothing wrong with growth rate slowing).

logrrl Tue 06-Oct-09 16:45:57

I appreciate your distress, but I just wouldn't go. I stepped away from all the scales, weighing, and in my opinion, judgement of my ability to feed my baby etc, after DS went from 50th, to 25th to the 9th and countless people remarked gleefully how TINY he was and I grew demented. I fed him and kept on feeding him and we became great friends after all that feeding smile. At 6 months, he reached the 25th again. (I weighed him out of curiosity at my midwife led BF group) Hoorah...or not...by that time the evil obsession had left me. It CAN be an obsession. My HV never gave a toss. Infact, said on a few occasions "what a lovely big boy" and when I informed her he was 9th centile said "oh really? he looks great, isn't he doing well".
You are his Mum, you know your babies. A HV can only give their opinion.

Beveridge Tue 06-Oct-09 22:34:42

Dammit, very upset to learn that cake eating is not directly proportional to bf baby's weight gain. However shall i justify it now?!grin

HVs....<shakes head> Don't get me started...

Reallytired Wed 07-Oct-09 14:29:30

Forget the baby weighing clinic. Find yourself a good non nhs breastfeeding support group like La Leche League.

Very few babies ever follow the percentile lines in their little red book. Also babies growth goes in fits and spurts.

Babies do not need regular weighing. You can tell with a baby if its developing, especially if its a second.

nomoresleep Wed 07-Oct-09 14:37:31

Totally agree with reallytired. Stop getting him weighed. I've taken my ds twice in 6 months.

But you are allowed to eat more cake!

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