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am i being selfish?

(44 Posts)
franfoxy2003 Sat 26-Sep-09 21:58:05

ok so im bf-ing and dh gives dd (3 weeks old tomorrow) one or two formula feeds a day so i can have a break because im exhausted...3.5year old ds too...

am i being completely selfish letting her have one or two formula feeds a day to give myself a break?

cheesesarnie Sat 26-Sep-09 22:00:08

ofcourse not!you are doing what works best for you and your family.theres no rule saying you must do one or the other!if its helping you feel a little less exhausted,and your dd is taking to it both ok.i think its great.your dh gets to be involved too!

dont be so hard on yourself!

BettyBubble Sat 26-Sep-09 22:00:46

Good lord, no. If you're exhausted, it's bad for all of you. Good on you, and on your DH!

franfoxy2003 Sat 26-Sep-09 22:04:05

thanks...feel a bit better now, dd is happy having breast most of the day and a formula feed in the afternoon so i can have a nap and one before bed (so i know she is completely full)...was expressing one or two feeds for her but that is proving difficult atm because i only seem to be producing what she needs now and no extra....efficient boobs at 3 weeks!!!

haven't told my hv as i know i will be read the riot act but 2 formula feeds a day surely doesnt count as not being exclusively breast fed???

franfoxy2003 Sat 26-Sep-09 22:04:50

thanks bettybubble...dh loves this time he gets with her!!!

mathshoneybunny27 Sat 26-Sep-09 22:08:57

I have done this for six months now and am convinced it's the reason I've been able to bf for this long. It's the best of both worlds as far as I'm concerned!

colditz Sat 26-Sep-09 22:09:48

no you're not.

GirlsAreLOud Sat 26-Sep-09 22:10:17

I did this and had no problem with supply at all.

It def kept me feeding as DD fed literally all the time until 4 months. Giving her a bottle a lunchtime meant I could actually leave the house long enough to put my breasts away and drive somewhere.

(it's not exclusive breastfeeding though, but don't worry)

colditz Sat 26-Sep-09 22:10:38

yes it does count as not being exclusively breastfed, so sort contraception out.

If HV starts read riot act, eject her from your home and don't see her again.

thisisyesterday Sat 26-Sep-09 22:10:44

actually 2 formula feeds a day does mean she is not being exclusively breastfed. exclusively breastfed is just that!

of course you have to do what you feel is best for you and your family. and that's fine, so don't beat yourself up over it.

you may want to express while the formula feeds are given to ensure your supply doesn't suffer though

BettyBubble Sat 26-Sep-09 22:11:27

Franfoxy - I did mixed feeding with DD, and told the hv I was bf the whole time in order to spare myself the lecture...

Hope you and your DH enjoy your lovely baby!

winnybella Sat 26-Sep-09 22:13:43

Well...it's a slippery slope, though...Once

you're doing 2 feeds formula feeds a day at

just 3 wks old, you might soon find out you're

doing 3 and 4...which is fine if you want to

ff, but I would be careful if you want to keep

bf.

GirlsAreLOud Sat 26-Sep-09 22:14:55

<hijack> bettybubble, are you me? I don't think I've seen you before but in the last couple of days have seen you talk about failed ventouse and forceps birth and mixed feeding a DD - just like me! Just thought I'd say hello!!

franfoxy2003 Sat 26-Sep-09 22:16:26

it doesnt appear to be affecting my supply yet...she always has plenty and often spits it at me!!!

colditz i sorted that out the other day...mini pill (aint been on pill for years lol so getting into the swing of it...alarm on my phone at same time each day helps)

dont think i will tell hv cos cant be bothered with the lectures lol and after all its only 2 feeds a day so hardly worth the lectures!!!

colditz Sat 26-Sep-09 22:17:20

Just don't tell her then. As long as you can see for yourself baby is healthy, and you are happy with your choices, there is no need for her interference help.

thisisyesterday Sat 26-Sep-09 22:18:29

well yes but you said you were expressing but now can't produce much.
so it may be affecting it!

it's still early days in terms of supply. so just beware, that's all

franfoxy2003 Sat 26-Sep-09 22:39:23

have read that the amount u express isnt always an indication of your supply, she seems to be getting plenty when she breast feeds, looks very sleepy at end of it and just generally full looking and doesnt cry for more or anything so im pretty sure she is getting enough from me and my supply is ok, compared to my ds who wasnt getting enough and was always crying, so im confident my supply is fine atm! had a wobbly last week where i thought my supply was lacking (hadnt formula fed her at all before then) because she kept thrashing around looking for more after...that was first day she had a formula feed so im sure that wobbly was nothing to do with formula feeding as she hadnt had any before that! hoping these two feeds a day doesnt affect my supply though!

BettyBubble Sat 26-Sep-09 23:24:24

GirlsAreLoud: grin

<big wave>

tiktok Sun 27-Sep-09 09:51:00

franfoxy - of course you'll want to make your own judgement about what is the best overall solution, but 2 formula feeds a day at 3 weeks will almost certainly undermine your choice to breastfeed - that's the biology of it, sorry

It's not helpful to compare what people did when their babies were much older than yours is now - the earlier bottles are introduced, the greater the impact on supply.

This impact may not appear straight away - many women are producing more than their babies need at 3 weeks anyway - but what happens in these first weeks is setting the scene for a sufficient supply later on, and 2 bottles a day every day is not good for that.

No need to discuss it with the health visitor, but of course you need to know that what's happening is not good for bf. Then the choice you make is informed....there are other options to deal with exhaustion. Hope you don't think this is a lecture!!

franfoxy2003 Sun 27-Sep-09 11:15:43

what else can i do to combat the exhaustion? also like the fact that hubby can be involved in her feeding. Ok he changes her nappies but he likes being able to feed her! The formula feed before bedtime is proving to be a godsend because she proper fills herself up and is sleeping for 6 hours after that. I know thats selfish but 6 hours sleep is heaven!

now im feeling even more selfish lol!

herbaceous Sun 27-Sep-09 11:24:07

franfoxy - fear not. When I got home from hospital, five days after DS was born, he wouldn't take the boob at all. Over the past 10 weeks, I've gradually upped the amount of BF, until, like you, I give him one small bottle of formula (100ml or so) at lunchtime - or whenever I need to actually get anything done - an sometimes one before bed. Some days he just gets boob. He's a strapping 14lb, at 11 weeks, and sleeps through the night, so it is perfectly possible!

fruitshootsandleaves Sun 27-Sep-09 11:27:38

I thought this much ff would reduce supply especially during growth spurts, like 10-12 weeks??

herbaceous Sun 27-Sep-09 11:32:17

oh, and in response to your post just now, I too spent many weeks feeling guilty for not exclusively bf, but know that if it hadn't been for the potential respite of a bottle now and then, i would have given up bf.

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad Sun 27-Sep-09 11:35:52

Could you use breast shells to get milk from the other side while you're nursing for your dp to bottle feed? Does that make sense?


it's so hard having a newborn and a toddler. All I can say is that it does get easier but that's not much help now, is it?!

foxytocin Sun 27-Sep-09 11:57:45

a wrap sling is a godsend when you have a newborn and a toddler. in my case, a toddler in a full leg cast.

as TT said, there are other ways to get around the exhaustion.

wrap sling / going to bed an hour earlier with the baby / let someone take the toddler for 2 hrs in the afternoon so you can go to bed with the baby for a long feedy-snuggle nap. let the baby sleep on dh's chest so you can have a long bath or whatever - this one can be a very satisfying one for men when their babies are exclusively breastfed.

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