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Feeding to sleep

(17 Posts)
BelleWatling Sat 26-Sep-09 11:52:49

I am still breastfeeding DS to sleep at night, when he wakes at night and sometimes for his naps. He is 10m. I know that this is frowned upon by Penelope Leach and other baby experts but that is the only way he will go to sleep. If I put him down a bit sleepy to settle himself he wakes himself up and either squawks, cries or plays himself into a wide awake state. He occasionally goes to sleep that way. He can put himself to sleep on his own on occasions and when he is with other carers.

My questions are:
- when should I start letting him settle himself? Have I left it too late? Will he ever learn to go asleep on his own without boob?

- am I damaging his teeth?

- am I destined to feed him to sleep until eternity...

He sleeps quite well, though not through the night very often. He has a night-time ritual which is very effective (his eyelids start drooping at the mere sight of "Goodnight moon") although has been poorly this week and constantly on the boob.

chattermouse Sat 26-Sep-09 15:42:07

I have done eactly the same with each of mine. Am feeding dd3 who is 6 months and goes to sleep on the breast. I would say that with my other 2, they sorted themselves out re going to sleep on their own when they were between 13-18 months. Don't worry, it will happen!

Also don't let books make you feel bad or that you have done something 'wrong'. If you have a routine that you and baby are happy with then screw everyone else!

chattermouse Sat 26-Sep-09 15:42:55

And btw, you will not damage your baby's teeth at all so fret no further on this one!

peppapighastakenovermylife Sat 26-Sep-09 16:11:49

I have always fed to sleep but found they were both perfectly capable of going to sleep themselves - in fact absolutely excellent. Both from about 9 months I could just stick in cot wide awake and would go to sleep grin. Just goes to show it really doesnt always mean they become dependent!

Morloth Sat 26-Sep-09 16:19:47

You should keep doing it until you don't want to anymore and everyone else can do what works for them.

I used to feed DS to sleep all the time, why not? It was nice and we both enjoyed it.

BelleWatling Sat 26-Sep-09 19:10:15

Thank you all - I find it makes my life easier and doesn't affect him with other people so... I just always thought I would do 'sleep training' when he gets to a certain age (always about 1-2 months in the future) - but really, I cannot be arsed grin. Thanks again.

logrrl Sat 26-Sep-09 19:41:23

have a look convinced me!

iwantitnow Sat 26-Sep-09 19:42:05

Warning it may stop working at some point, it did with my DD

logrrl Sat 26-Sep-09 19:43:00

oooppps grinmust not multi-task whilst on mumsnet....
meant to say

PeasPlease Sat 26-Sep-09 19:43:39

logrrl have you lost your passport?

MrsMagnolia Sat 26-Sep-09 19:45:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aranea Sat 26-Sep-09 19:54:05

I don't think it's exactly 'frowned on', it's just that some people find that letting the baby settle themselves to sleep will result in a better night's sleep as the baby then doesn't need the boob to get back to sleep when they wake in the night.

But firstly, this is not always the case, and secondly, it is up to you whether you care. There is not a window of developmental opportunity for self-settling and your baby will at some point learn. It may be something you decide to 'teach' him to do, or it may be something he naturally starts to do. Lots of babies just grow out of falling asleep on the breast. If he doesn't grow out of it before you do, you will certainly be able to sort it out.

In my experience the right time for solving 'problems' is the moment when you suddenly feel you can and have confidence and clarity about it. I don't know whether this is because I've sensed the right moment for the baby, or whether it's just that the baby picks up on my confidence, but I find that when I know I can achieve something, it is surprisingly easy.

PS I am a big fan of the 'cannot be arsed' school of parenting. Stick with it!

newspaperdelivery Sat 26-Sep-09 19:59:01

Oh I am going to write a book called 'cannot be arsed school of parenting' and it's going to very thin and say -

Do whatever it takes to ensure you can eat your takeaway in peace.

I think this covers all the parenting schools of thought. Some will do lots to ensure their child sleeps 7pm till 7am and self soothes [dd1] others will keep boob/bottle/dummy handy to ward of waking [dd2]

Another million in the bank!

feralgirl Sat 26-Sep-09 20:24:58

I fed DS to sleep every night of his little 8 month life until, all of a sudden about a month ago, it stopped working and he would wake up the second I put him in the cot.

Fortunately it turned out that he was ace at settling himself and he plays and messes about for 10 mins before just lying down and dropping off.

I never had a choice with him, one minute he'd be wide awake and gulping down milk, the next he'd be completely out of it. Doesn't seem to have harmed him at all.

And I figure Penelope Leach/ GF/ Tracy Hogg et al have never met me or DS so wtf would they know about what works for us?!

BelleWatling Sat 26-Sep-09 23:04:37

Ha logrrl I clicked on your link thinking "What the hell does the Passport Office to say about my breastfeeding? Is there no end to government interference in our private lives?"

iwantitnow - it's not working this week cos he's poorly. sad Hopefully it is a blip now I have these sanctions to continue! My takeaway did go cold tonight.

Please send any cannot be arsed royalties to me.

newspaperdelivery Sat 26-Sep-09 23:10:31

I can't promise you al the royalties [as I am a spendthrift and a washable nappy addict] but I will shout you a take away of choice.

Should royalties hit the one million mark this wil be one a week for life.

I will mention you and Arenea on the dustcover blurb though.

logrrl Sun 27-Sep-09 11:41:22

cough blush yeah sorry...

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