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really struggling with evening times

(37 Posts)
booyhoo Wed 16-Sep-09 20:30:24

ds1 is feeding every 1 1/2 - 2 hours during the day but in the evening, from about 6 ish he's wanting to feed 45 minutes after feeding and theres nothing there. he's getting frustrated and pulling away and crying. he's tired and wont settle but wont even suckle for comfort as he gets nothing when he latches on. im afraid ive had to give him formula twice in the last week. but even thats a fight because he doesnt want to take the bottle and refuses it for ages. he gets himself in a right tizzy. i dont want to do it again. what can i do? im at the end of my tether.

he's 16 weeks btw.

booyhoo Wed 16-Sep-09 20:31:17

sorry, i meant ds2. i dont bf my 4yo.

dinkystinky Wed 16-Sep-09 20:37:43

Sounds like a growth spurt and is typical growth spurt territory too at 16 weeks - hang on there, put him to the breast when he wants it and the supply will up and it will pass soon. Fennel tea is pretty good for boosting bm supply IME.

booyhoo Wed 16-Sep-09 22:23:21

dinky you're a star, i knew there was something that boosted supply but it completely excaped me. thank you thank you

thenameiwantedwastaken Wed 16-Sep-09 22:26:43

Also fenugreek (nice in curries) and making sure you're well hydrated late afternoon.

VulpusinaWilfsuit Wed 16-Sep-09 22:30:29

It's really really normal for babies to cluster feed in the evenings, either to build up supply or get enough because supply is lower, or just because they do it that way to get ready for a longer stretch sleeping more...

It's a really good idea to just park on the sofa and let him, even though it feels to you like 'there's nothing there'. There is, but he's feeding frequently to get more smaller amounts. The notion of 'settling' which some babies get into quite quickly also changes just as quickly as they grow and their feeding needs change.

Sorry to have to say this but if you want to keep BF you might find you need to just accept that this is how it is for a while. Can be hard when you've got used to one pattern and another one emerges, but go with the flow and I bet it will settle down again soon. smile

booyhoo Wed 16-Sep-09 22:30:42

thanks the name, im crap at drinking enough so thats a good incentive.

booyhoo Wed 16-Sep-09 22:33:23

i do want to keep breastfeeding and i only gave him the formula in desperation. it helps to know that this is normal, makes it easier to deal with somehow.

hairymelons Wed 16-Sep-09 22:35:42

It's really tough going but rest assured it's normal and will pass. Also beer is good for milk supply wink

hairymelons Wed 16-Sep-09 22:38:20

Yeah wish I'd had MN when DS was doing this. I thought the problem was that he didn't want to go to sleep and messed about trying to get him 'settled' at bedtime for months...the poor thing was walked up and down and jiggled for hours when all he wanted was to graze. Ah well, will know next time

booyhoo Wed 16-Sep-09 22:42:25

oh i feel terrible now, ive been trying to 'settle' him aswell. giving him a dummy and shushing him thinking he's just fighting sleep when really he needs to be feeding. oh dear. poor babe.

IWantAChickAndADuck Wed 16-Sep-09 22:53:12

booyhoo hang on in there!! Went through the exact same thing with my ds2, just hung on in there, drank and rested lots and fed him as much as poss! Within 2 weeks it passed. (so glad I didn't take to advice of my midwife to start weaning him!)

I found it helped to stay snuggled up in my dressing gown with him all day oh and fennel tea as dinky mentioned!

VulpusinaWilfsuit Wed 16-Sep-09 22:53:38

It's always easy to be wise with hindsight wink. I only twigged this was what DS3 needed too after doing all the other things you all mention. When the penny dropped I felt a bit 'd'oh'! It did mean being sofa bound for a while but it was a good excuse to get control of the remote and have cups of tea brought to me regularly!

IWantAChickAndADuck Wed 16-Sep-09 22:56:49

also, le leche league are brill...don't have the number, but google them!

hairymelons Wed 16-Sep-09 22:57:17

don't feel bad booyhoo! I just meant it's great the info's here for people cos how else are you supposed to know?
Use the excuse to snuggle up in front of the telly for the evening and be waited on hand and foot! He'll settle down soon

hairymelons Wed 16-Sep-09 23:00:17

Iwant is right, LLL are fabulous when you need advice 0845 120 2918

booyhoo Wed 16-Sep-09 23:10:53

snuggling up on sofa- good
control of remote- better
being waited on by 4yo ds- highly unlikely!!

might just hold onto the growth spurt card til OH gets home in November!

hairymelons Thu 17-Sep-09 11:35:45

No slave DH available to wait on me in the evenings when DS was small either. Have you mastered walking and bfeeding at the same time? Was a revelation to me, meant I could get drinks and snacks without DS screaming at me

booyhoo Thu 17-Sep-09 11:41:20

oh yes, i can walk, do my make-up, make a cup of tea, go to the loo(with a bit of skilful manouvering), cook the dinner.

even so, OH doesnt need to know all that just yet. grin

IWantAChickAndADuck Thu 17-Sep-09 13:50:48

How are you getting on booyhoo, did you get babe settled last night?

booyhoo Thu 17-Sep-09 19:46:16

well not really settled in the sense that he did sleep but stil waking for feeds every two hours but i know now thats normal.

any suggestions what to do when he keeps pulling away from the breast bu still seems hungry. he wont take the dummy and just cries and cries but pulls away from the breast.

VulpusinaWilfsuit Thu 17-Sep-09 19:51:12

If he's frustrated and milk not flowing fast enough, a bit of distraction might work? Rocking, humming, even try putting the vacuum cleaner on for a bit of white noise?

And <whisper> a dummy can help a bit in situations like this if BF well established but has risks too. Someone else could maybe take him round the block for a walk?

booyhoo Thu 17-Sep-09 19:57:51

yep weve got a dummy but he refuses it when he's hungry. ive roped ds(4) into pushing him a few turns round the garden, and the hoovers been on a good few times aswell. i think its me just not used to having to do everything with one arm. ah well, needs must.

IWantAChickAndADuck Thu 17-Sep-09 19:59:39

My Ds did exactly the same.. they only thing that helped was me and dp taking it in turns walking up and down the hallway singing... had a couple of all nighters but it was only a couple... distraction like Vulpusina said, the hoover also worked wonders some nights!

Or you could try a little cool boiled water in a bottle? Not sure if this would be the right thing to do but I can remember doing it a couple oif times with my Ds.

booyhoo Thu 17-Sep-09 20:04:46

did you all have to get up really early in the morning to get washed and dressed and get anything done. i dont seem to get a full run at anything.

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