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sounds dumb, but how do you co-sleep?

(13 Posts)
forevermore Fri 11-Sep-09 17:05:03

My 2 week old BF DD is up most of night feeding (at least it feels that way)sad. I am knackered, and want to 'co-sleep'. However I am nervous and not quite sure how best to safely do it. I have been feeding her whilst lying down with a sheet over my fitted sheet (for that even necessaryhmm) then i put a doubled over cellular sheet over her (whilst she is wearing a vest and baby that enough do you think?). I end up half frozen as try to keep cover with duvet but kind of only cover the half that she isn't feeding on and keep duvet far back in fear of falling asleep and smothering her so i end up cold and unable to sleep.

The arm that i am lying on tends to go numb as i am propped up on the side i am lying on (not really relaxed) and I kind of drift in and out of semi-sleep IFYSWIM.

please share your experiences / give advice please. she seems happy enough but I am exhausted and uncomfortablesad.

duende Fri 11-Sep-09 18:59:18

i have a 5 week old DS and I am doing it the same way as you. i am also shattered, cold and have bad back.
i don't really find breastfeeding lying down very easy either - i find my breast is a bit too low and have to support it whilst baby is feeding.

forevermore Fri 11-Sep-09 19:04:20

AW BLESSsmile. at least i'm not shivering alone at night. what about your partner? DH is now in spare room as he is scared of rolling over onto baby!? he is 6'4 and 15 stone and suddenly our superking bed looks like a camp bed with a 7lb newborn taking up one half entirelysmile

YouLukaSimplyAmazing Fri 11-Sep-09 19:08:23

three in a bed is a superb book if you are considering or do co sleep

FlouryBap Fri 11-Sep-09 19:17:34

I am probably not the best person to give advise, as I didn't follow all the safety rules that you are given for sharing a bed. I had DD in bed with us and her under the duvet too, but loosely over her. I slept with my bottom arm straight out or curled under my pillow and her head under it at my boob (like this bit not fully clothed and grinning like an idiot grin). This was the most comfortable position but in the long term did give me back ache as i would plug her in and then fall asleep so my arm would be like that for a while.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Fri 11-Sep-09 19:46:58

I used to sleep like florybap too, not the most comfortable but it did. I always wore a cardi in bad to keep my top half warm and my boobs accessible! It was easier when he got big enough to rest his head on my arm. I kept him on top of the duvet mostly, at least at first, in a gro bag.

Maria2007 Fri 11-Sep-09 20:10:27

Forevermore, I could have written your description! We started out co-sleeping exactly like you. I was cold, my arm got pins & needles all the time (plus was freezing cold), & I ended up worried that I would smother her etc. My only advice (sorry not to be more specific) is that since she's only 2 weeks, things will work out with the co-sleeping naturally, they'll improve, and you'll find a way to gradually sleep more comfortably next to her. I think the problem is that with a 2 week old- regardles of whether we co-sleep or not- we parents tend to be a bit paranoid of them being harmed. I know many parents with a newborn in a cot who wake up several times in the night- on their own!- just to check their baby's breathing So I think soon you'll find a comfortable way to co-sleep with your baby, it may take a few more weeks though...

BertieBotts Fri 11-Sep-09 21:59:17

We butchered our cot into a side-car cot - which basically involved removing one side (it still stood up very securely) and drilling new holes in the frame to raise the mattress support up so that the cot mattress was level with our mattress. So DS had his own space and it served as a bed-guard (he slept nestled into me for the first 2 months anyway)

At first (This was Oct/Nov last year so cold) I dressed him in a vest and sleepsuit and he had his own cellular blanket, cot size, which I put over my midriff as well to keep me warm, I had the duvet over my legs and I wore a dressing gown on one arm (the one I wasn't lying on) - I had my lower arm out horizontal to stop DS wriggling upwards and under the pillows. I did get numb and achy hips and actually I just put up with it until I felt ready to move him slightly away from me into the cot when he had finished feeding. So no solution to that I'm afraid

I found I could adjust the height of my boob by not lying 100% on my side but turning more towards lying on my front or back depending on which direcion. (I could also change sides without rolling over this way) I am small of nork though. I put a prefold nappy under DS' head and my boob to soak up any leaks or sick.

HTH! DS is now 11 months and sleeps horizontally usually - you do worry less as they get bigger

fishie Fri 11-Sep-09 22:04:23

yes it is tricky at first, takes a little while to get confident. i started out with ds on my stomach (it was certainly big enough). also got rid of most pillows.

the best way is if mother lies on back/side facing middle with arm making an arch around top of baby. father then is kept from squishing baby but also makes safe barrier. also possibility of breastfeeding without moving.

butterscotch Sat 12-Sep-09 21:54:22

We had me and DH under duvet an extra pillow (long one) on the top of the bed with dd on that my arm hooked around her to stop her rolling...The I had DD in vest and sleeping suit & sleep bag when it was cold (extra celluar blanket on top if really really cold!)

The pillow mean't there was something for us to not roll on..

They say as a parent you'r never roll on the baby the only thing they are worried about is if your a drinker/smoker/drug taker/taking medication that can make you sleeping/overweight!

whatinthewhatnow Wed 23-Sep-09 20:03:30

we did exactly the same as bertiebotts with our cot after too many semi sleepless nights with not enough room, and although he rarely slept properly in his own space it did add an extra bit of room and the security of a lovely big bed guard. I really believe that exclusively breastfed babies of non drug-taking/smoking/drinking mothers belong in their mothers arms at night so he went under whatever i was under. at first i tried him in a grobag but he always ended up in a grobag and under the duvet so in the end he just snuggled next to me, latched on whenever he wanted and i barely woke up. It just felt totally natural and actually he slept in my bed on the first night in hosp after he was born. (I'm a midwife so they couldn't tell me off although I suspect they wanted to.) I like this leaflet:
I did get a funny wrist from having one arm in the same position every night for about 9 months and a bit of a bunion-ny lump but it seems to have gone now.

ohfuschia Thu 24-Sep-09 00:00:46

Funny reading this, knowing that up and down the country mums are doing the same as me, covered up ineptly by random pieces of duvet/cardigan/cellular blanket/muslin etc. And I've got the funny wrist grin. My DS is seven weeks and we have a bedside cot which he occasionally goes in if he's fed on that side and I can roll him in. Mainly though he's in the middle of the bed with me on my side and my arm around him in an arc like fishie said. Me and dh are using seperate covers with ds in the middle in a grobag or sleepsuit with blanket, but I'm paranoid about covering him with my duvet, so only cover my bottom half and try and manage with the random items on top. Typing this I can see it's no help at all to the OP but I am definitely getting more sleep than when I tried to put him in his hammock.

ohfuschia Thu 24-Sep-09 00:04:15

Just wanted to add I don't actually 'roll him in' (!), I place him sideways gently. I'm tired, but not that tired!

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