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Tandem feeders - I'm feeling touched out already, will it pass?

(7 Posts)
RedAction Wed 09-Sep-09 10:20:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TruthSweet Wed 09-Sep-09 12:44:12

How old is DS1 (I'm assuming DC2 is 6 weeks old wink)? In my experience the older nursling will be so excited by all that delicious milk that after being on the (relatively speaking) starvation rations of colostrum in late pg/early days will gorge themselves on all the milk they can get (even to the expense of solids) and it takes a little while for the novelty to wear off.

Plus they are now seeing the 'interloper' feed ALL the time and they get a little green eyed at all that attention so think asking for more feeds will even the playing field up a bit. I was lucky in the sense there wasn't (and hasn't been since) any real sibling rivalry and I have some beautiful memories of the DDs holding hands whilst feeding together [need misty eyed emoticon] Also have some 'interesting' memories of DD1 desperately trying to get DD2 latched on to her when I wasn't able to
feed DD2 immediately and lots of 'DD2 wants bah mummy' from DD1 (she got vicarious nursing kicks from DD2 nursing hmm)

I felt really touched out when actually tandem feeding (i.e. one on each boob) but found when DD1 stopped feeding like a newborn and got back to her usual level of feeding it got much better. I only physically tandem fed for about 2 months before I went batshit crazy each time they both latched on. As this coincided with the reduction in feeds from DD1 I started back up with the nursing manners I had worked on with her whilst pg e.g. setting time limits for length of feed, offering water/WCM in a beaker, cuddle, story etc.

I also emphasised that DD2 couldn't eat all the yummy food or drink out of a beaker/cup like DD1 could as DD2 could only have 'Bah' so DD1 would have to wait her turn and share or have something else (see above) depending on what DD1 wanted to nurse for (boredom/comfort/reconnect with me/etc).

It worked really well and DD1 has just now self weaned at 3.5 y/o, DD2 is 21 months and am now 35 weeks pg so I will be starting tandem all over again in a few weeks.

RedAction Wed 09-Sep-09 13:19:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TruthSweet Wed 09-Sep-09 14:09:04

Ah so you are the voice in my head! I wondered why I kept hearing counting!!!grin

Do persevere with the counting/restrictions as personally I feel it is better for a DC to know they have boundaries than they can nurse as much as they like until mum starts rocking in a corner then no more at all ever.

I know my DD1 would happily swap nothing for 'a little bit' - what she would ask for if she knew it wasn't convenient or DD2 was feeding already - and would wait for a suitable point to have a 'little bit'.

Ack that came out wrong what I mean is given the choice of wanting lots of bah and getting a 'little bit' or having nothing and still wanting lots, she would choose the 'little bit' even if she had to wait.

Clear as mud no?

RedAction Wed 09-Sep-09 16:29:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad Wed 09-Sep-09 16:35:25

Hi - I am tandemming my 2 dc (2 and a half yr old ds and 6 month old dd) and the sensation of nursing them both together makes me want to claw my eyes out, frankly.

I force weaned ds during pg, and only began nursing him again because he asked and it seemed to matter soooo much to him. sad When he started nursing again I tried to do "don't offer don't refuse" but it was All The Time, so I cut back after a week or so. Now he just nurses before bed and nap, and first thing in the morning, for 10 minutes max, and I count him off or use the cue words, "Bye bye milkies," to make him come off.

I do feel very touched out a lot of the time - I think it's very like the feeling you get when nursing while menstruating (not that I've ever done that! hmm) but if you can grit your teeth it does pass eventually. For us, nursing manners were very important, and ds has learned that he doesn't get "milkies" on demand anymore.

I would like to nurse them both together, because they are very sweet together, and ds often asks for it, but it's such a horrible sensation for me, that I don't often allow it. Other people I know always did it, and never had a problem with it!

RedAction Wed 09-Sep-09 22:14:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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