Would you choose to feed your children differently to eachother?(13 Posts)
A friend has 2 dc, one of which has a cf diagnosis. She bfed him till he weaned self (near 3 i think). They werent aware of cf till he was nearly 1 iirc. They have a 6 week old now and there is 4 years between the children. She is thinking of swapping to formula as she thinks it isnt important to bfeed as dc2 is clear of cf. She also wants to continue to give dc1 the same level of input as he had pre dc2. I think its a real shame, and if anything i have bfed dc2 longer than dc1 because of experience.
I cant comment on your friend but I agree with how you feel about the feeding of the children.
I have 3 dc and have Bfed each one for longer than the previous one(s). TBH I think with this one I might forget to stop.
But she may be thinking that 3 years is a long time again, and maybe this one doesn't need the extra help? Rather than just taking one feed at a time.
Slightly different but i did not breastfeed my DD2 as my DD1 was only two and i could not see at the time how i could sit down for the endless hours that i always have to feed for.
I wouldn't have breastfed DS2 longer becuase of past experience, i would have bfd DS2 for however long i felt comfortable, CF doesn't need to come into it.
As for giving dc1 the same level of input, do you mean time, energy and attention? If so then i know where she is coming from, knowing your childs life is likley to be limited and that actually they could die before they reach thier teens does make you want to spend as much time as possible with them, i have a child with cf he is my ds and i love ds2 as muhc as ds1, god knows i love them both with all my heart but i make sure i spend lots of time hugging ds1 becuase i dont know how long i will be able to do that for, not saying i leave ds2 out i don'r he gets as much hugs but at different times.
She will probably have o feed them differently to a certain extent anyway when they are older as a cf child usually heed a high calorie diet that wouldn't be entirely healthy for a normal child.
in usual circs I'd expect to bf my second/third etc for as long/longer than my first, but in her circs, think this is all to do with her eldest child's condition and bf prob seems one thing too much for whatever reason (does take up a lot of time, other people could help with bottle feeds so she could spend more time with her eldest, etc). it's impossible to put yourself in someone's shoes when their child has a chronic health condition or life limiting condition - it impacts everything and every family member.
I think she already has a disabled child and a six week old baby, and can do as she damn well pleases.
I can't comment on your friend as I haven't been in the same boat and have no idea how I would feel if I was. So I guess it's a case of walking a mile in another man's shoes ...
To answer your OP question - yes, I have fed my children differently to each other, but not by choice. I bf-ed dd's 1 and 2 for just 3 days each and then ffed them till they self-weaned off the bottle (with a little persuasion for dd1, lol). Dd3 was bf-ed till she self-weaned at around 16/17 mo.
So different, but not by choice. Not sure how this is even remotely comparable to your friend though ...
X post with you there colditz [slow typer] and you put it so much better than me
Even two completely healthy children can have different needs. Also the mother has needs as well.
I found it a nightmare being a SAHM with ds so I am planning to go back to work when dd is 10 months old. I breastfed ds until two and half years old, but I imagine its unlikely I will bf dd quite that long as I am planning to cut the feeds down to morning and evening at 10 months.
Also dd doesn't breastfeed for comfort. She is only interested in the breast when hungry.
I couldn't bf ds1 (with cf) anyway, he wasn't interested, i was to ill, he was to ill and our only concern was diagnosing his condition and treating it, he wasnt diagnosed until he was nearly 3 but was chronicaly ill up untill that time. DS2 (without cf) however was a breast monster and was keen to suckle as soon as he was breathing (after some complication on delivery) he was fed untill he was 12 months then we trandfered to ebm anf fomular as i was spending a lot of time in ospital with ds1.
Thanks for responses, especially those in similar circ. I wouldnt question my friends choices as it is her choice and i couldnt possibly put myself in her situation. Thats whats good ab0out here, you can ask those questions you wouldnt actually ask person in RL iykwim.
I would if that's how it suited us best. I bf ds but he was mix fed for the first couple of months because we had problems. I would ike to bf #2 exclusively. OTOH I am bfing ds still at 16 months and I am not sure if I would choose to carry on much past a year with #2. I certainly don't think 2 children have to be raised the same, circs are different each time; the children are different.
colditz puts it very well
the thing about having a disabled child is that that first hectic stage of constant demands never goes away
where other people straighten their backs and tidy themselves up after the first year or so, you are still working flat out and no hope of things ever being different
there is no way your friend is going to be able to give her two children the same life anyway: that option has been taken away from her
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