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back to work, bf one year old and feeling sad

(6 Posts)
Sassyfrassy Mon 07-Sep-09 20:39:01

I have just gone back to work, it's a new job in a new school. I started last week on thursday and dh is staying at home to take care of our two girls. My one year old is breastfeeding still and she is very very enthusiastic about her milk. She only ever falls asleep at naps if breastfed but in the evening she falls asleep on her own.

So, DH is finding it really hard as he can't get her to nap. I feel dreadful because I know it's a strain on both of them and she'll be upset. As soon as I get home from work she goes straight for me and roots for the breast. DH has very gently suggested that maybe if I stopped breastfeeding she'd be easier for him to deal with but I just burst into tears. Today was staffmeetin and I got home really late and felt upset already that I'd hardly get to see her.

Not really sure where I'm going with this but just feel the need to get some reassurance and support. I don't want to stop breastfeeding as it's such a nice thing for Katie and me when I get home, but also I feel bad that DH can't settle her int he day =(

gemmamc Mon 07-Sep-09 20:43:21

I wouldn't stop. She'll get better. I am still bf my 22 month old and have been working for a year. I work partly from home and manage to pick him up by 5 pm, which makes it easier - no doubt. But I've been through the same problems - ds not going easily to sleep without me in the beginning. But it all worked out in the end. The childminder managed with patience, cuddling and perserverance.

GruffaloMama Tue 08-Sep-09 13:44:12

Oh Sassyfrassy - poor you. I am working too and have an 11mo DS and I love being able to feed him evenings and mornings. It helps us to reconnect and lessens the <says it very quietly> guilt of being apart during the day. And he loves it.

I'm sure that gemma's right - your dd will get better with lots of cuddling and daddy-time. He'll find ways to soothe her that work for him. You may have tried already but some things that I've hear work are one of your (worn) t-shirts to snuggle into. And I'm sure he'll be delighted that you've kept going the next time she's poorly and the only thing that will comfort her is a lovely breastfeed. Can you talk to him and let him know how important it is to you that you keep bf-ing?

WoTmania Tue 08-Sep-09 13:51:39

She might not nap ant better if you stopped BF (why would she?) but you will lose a parenting trick/method of getting he to sleep.
I would also imagine that it is a nice way for you to 'reconnect' when you get home from work.
My DH used to get DS2 to sleep in the evenings and he found popping him in the sling owrked best. I'm sure your DH can find a method of getting her off.

WoTmania Tue 08-Sep-09 13:52:34

Sorry for the crap spelling blush

Sassyfrassy Tue 08-Sep-09 18:29:53

Thanks for your lovely replies. Today she's had a bit of a breakthrough and fell asleep for nap twice with DH. I'm feeling very relieved. I really do want to keep on breastfeeding. I already feel bad about being away for her for so long so I wouldn't want to deny her someting she loves so much.

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