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5months PG with baby No3, after 2 unsuccessful BFing attempts how do I prepare this time?

(24 Posts)
Sella Mon 24-Aug-09 16:13:45

Due 3rd baby in January, BF DD1 for 3weeks - painful disaster, BF DD2 for 4.5 months wanted to carry on but due to poor weight gain admitted defeat and put her on bottles - much to her delight!

Have always really wanted to BF successfully for a good length of time, and feel like I'm heading in the right direction but would love some tips, especially anything I can do pre-baby to prepare.

Any help or advice would be welcome as I am determined to give it a really good go this time around, looking forward to your help...

mosschops30 Mon 24-Aug-09 16:17:55

will watch this too, as have had 2 attempts at breastfeedfing also (dd just not interested and poor support, then ds too painful to continue after 2 weeks).
Would also love to bf no. 3 so I know how you feel sella smile

Sella Mon 24-Aug-09 16:30:05

Thanks, nice to know I'm not alone, new to this whole 'net' thing as well, have no idea how it really works, so I'm sorry if I do something wrong!!!

Just really looking forward to my new baby and don't want it to be marred by constant (and sometimes irrational) worrying over (sometimes non-existent) problems smile

dinkystinky Mon 24-Aug-09 18:52:09

Look into your local breastfeeding support groups while pregnant and go along and introduce yourself - get tips from the counsellor/midwife there. If they have a peer supporter network sign up for it - I swear the peer supporter who came and sat with me for hours after DS1 was born is the only reason I managed to bf him! Bfing is a skill that needs to be learnt by both you and baby - so take things easy, have lots of skin to skin with your baby and (to the extent your DC will let you - make sure DH or other family deal with them) just veg with the baby for the first few days until you have it cracked. Good luck.

mosschops30 Tue 25-Aug-09 11:10:49

dinky where do we find info on local groups? I went to a bf class last time that was run by the hospital, and am doing that again, but its just one 2 hour class and I would really like more support post birth

MamaG Tue 25-Aug-09 11:16:06

Your midwife should be able to point you in the diretion of BF groups

My tips would be:-

1. If you're not sure that the latch is right, get it checked by a professional 100 times if necessary

2. Put phone numbers for BF support lines in your mobile and take to hospital

3. Tell your DH and family that your job for first few weeks is simply to feed baby. You will NOT be running around like a blue arsed fly, you WILL be sittin gon the sofa, big cool drink and snacks to hand, feeding the baby.

4. Accept that you will be feeding almost constantly at first (or was that just me?!)

5. If in doubt -feed. The more you feed, the more your supply will be boosted. Feed, feed and feed again!

6. Keep your fluid intake up.

7. Ring BF helpline or come on here at the slightest hiccup. Nobody will be cross with you for askikng for help!

8. Read up on tongue tie - not all HCPs are that "up" on it and if it goes unnoticed that can cause hellish probs with BF

Good luck

mosschops30 Tue 25-Aug-09 11:22:57

But i didnt feel like I was having problems last time MamaG until ds started puking blood from my constantly bleeding nipples sad
Im just praying can get it right this time, I know it was probably the latch that made it so sore, but no one ever said it was wrong and I never felt it was wrong, me and ds were both comfortable

dinkystinky Tue 25-Aug-09 11:43:49

GP or midwife can point you in their direction - or try local nct or La Leche League or information. Also try googling it in your area - you'll be amazed at what you find on the web. Some riends had postnatal doulas who came round, helped with older kids and housework AND were able to help with establishing bfing - around £8 an hour. May be worth a thought too. Try doula UK website.

Sella Tue 25-Aug-09 16:26:50

With my last baby I was told she was tongue-tied at first then someone else said that was rubbish. I felt BFing was going well and got passed the pain thing but she just didn't gain (or lose) weight.

Looking back I think I just constantly felt like there wasn't enough milk in my boobs and if I'd fed her an hour ago from both boobs - even though she was crying - there would be no point feeding her again as there wouldn't be any milk there. Are you saying that I should just feed anyway regardless of how much milk I feel there is?

I feel a lot more willing to try the 'being constantly latched on' approach this time round but also worry about the fact that I have 2 older DDs, the school run etc... Last time someone recommended Fenugreek, has anyone tried this? To me all it did was taste horrid!!! Are there any other remedies to help (apart from just not stressing about it too much!).

Sella Tue 25-Aug-09 16:33:09

mosschops30 I too had the bleeding nipples thing first time round, in fact my last attempt with DD1 was rudely interrupted by a burst blood blister on the end of my nipple exploding in her mouth - it was like a scene from a horror movie (well that's how I remember it anyway! smile)

On dinkystinky's advice I have asked at my local surestart centre about breast feeding groups and they have given me a list for my area, along with useful local e-mail addresses, so that might be worth a try...

When ru due by the way, I'm Jan 15th

mosschops30 Tue 25-Aug-09 16:36:52

thanks for that sella. Have got my at together a bit today, enrolled for pregnancy yoga and am hoping to go for a swim tomorrow, am feeling rotten and huge smile

I know what you mean about the horror movie thing, everyone told me to keep feeding and ds was fine, but the pain was so awful, I would sit there crying in paid whilst he fed, it was dh who eventually said 'sod this I am off to the shop for formula', he said he could bear to watch any longer sad

I am due 11th Nov, but hoping to go before then as this baby is HUGE!

mosschops30 Tue 25-Aug-09 16:43:00

sella - have just found a huge list of breastfeeding support groups in my area (some only minutes away) for almost every day of the week smile
This has given me a huge boost already!

Tomorrow am going to do myself a big list of places, times and days so I am ready if I need help (who knew they were all out there, and two of them run by people I know of)

Sella Tue 25-Aug-09 18:08:05

mosschops30 - that's fantastic news, really pleased for you! Know what you mean about the giving up thing, I went to docs about something completely unrelated and ended up sobbing in front of a 50 yr old man, he just said 'the first bit is precious, you only get it once if it's this bad give up' I walked out stunned but like a weight had been lifted. Would also like to add that it didn't stop me with DD2 who I fed for 4 months and would have happily carried on with had she put on more weight.

Anyway, will follow your example. I too am going swimming (tonight) was going to put it off but now I've read yours I feel like I should make the effort! May have chocolate later tho!!! grin

dinkystinky Tue 25-Aug-09 18:56:17

Sella and Mosschops30, glad you've found some support groups and hope all goes really well for you guys with your pregnancies, births and bfing smile

And chocolate is obligatory - both while pregnant and bfing wink

elkiedee Thu 27-Aug-09 00:14:09

Well done Sella and Mosschops for finding the details of the groups well in advance - if you have time during the day or when you start maternity leave many welcome pregnant women - my local one is lucky enough to have a big space where the 2 and 3 year olds can play. My mum and my stepsister in law both succeeded 3rd time round.

I would also try to make it very clear with hospital staff that it's a priority. I didn't manage to do very well with DS1, and with DS2 it looked very like I was about to fail again, but it did help that I had a hospital breastfeeding counsellor see me most days that we were in hospital (though sadly she was off sick on my only full day in the ward where she worked - I knew something was wrong but no one picked up what it was, and ds2 was losing weight very fast).

TINKERBELLE33 Thu 27-Aug-09 00:39:23

Well done for getting as far as you did. I too had horrendous probs 1st time, and DD would bring back blood after each feed. I swear by loads of Lansinoh, used cheap cream 1st which didn't work. Also found pumping a little first helped as I had slow let down and DD would be rough with frustration. She too had poor weight gain so I gave one formula feed from 4 weeks which sorted this. Things got better when she got bigger and I managed to continue for 11 months. My 2nd child is now 61/2 months and all going well. Used Lansinoh from 1st feed to prevent rather than cure and it worked.

Try to remember each BF counts and whilst you may not have breastfed for as long as you would have liked, your babies were fed, loved and cared for - doesn't sound like failure to me!

Good Luck smile

mosschops30 Thu 27-Aug-09 11:48:00

TINKERBELLE - what a lovely post, especially that every bfeed counts smile
I know that if I even manage just 2 weeks again with this baby it will be better than not trying at all. I am however going to be determined and make sure the staff know that.

I am now on mat leave (well sick leave, mat leave starts in 2 weeks).

sella did you swim after? I went yesterday and it was lovely, i pottered up and down the pool eventually doing about 14 lengths, dipped my feet in the jacuzzi, then had a cup of tea and read the paper in the coffee shop afterwards, it was bliss grin. I am starting yoga next week (proper pregnancy ones) but also going back to do pilates at the health club.

Misspaella Thu 27-Aug-09 13:04:38

Hi Sella your story is very similar to mine. I only bf DS1 for 4 1/2m and DD for 3 1/2 m and it was a very uphill struggle to even get that far (and not excl bf either!) I am now trying to bf DS2 (8 weeks on Sat) and I won't lie - it is ANOTHER battle but here is what is helping me get through this:

1. Silverettes and Lansinoh - I reckon without them (the Silverettes esp) I would have given up by now. Definitely worth the investment.

2. Saving money and having a lactation consultant come to my house on Day 3 as the latch was a killer - I found out this way DS2 was tongue tied and I had it sorted out. I did ask the paed on discharge if he had tongue tie (my DD did too so I was well read on it) and they just fobbed me off.....get someone who knows about bf to check.

3. Hiring a double pump - with 2 other DC's to look after it has made expressing a doddle and DH gives a bottle of ebm in the evening so I can get 4 hours of sleep in. I just can't cope with lack of sleep and taking care of my other LO's. Also, over the past few weeks when DS2 was clustering like mad I had milk already expressed to give him (as a last resort - my nipples where just being shredded and I needed a break) to deal with the situation when I was near breaking point.

4. If possible while you are still pg get some playdates in for your other DC's - when your new LO is born you can get your friends to return the playdate favour and gives you time on your own to feed, rest or just catch up on bits.

5. Set yourself mini goals as each week progresses. I still don't know if I will make the 6month mark but I keep thinking ok just get to 3 weeks and see how it goes (I did) and then it was just get to 6 weeks, now it's get to 9 weeks etc. I just try and focus on each bf as it happens....

6. Get a list of all bf groups and what days they are on just in case. I spent the first few weeks going to them (one week I went to 3 groups!). It was hard getting all 3 DC's out for the but it built my confidence and helped with my bf issues. I brought LOTS of snacks to distract my other 2 DC's while we were at a bf group. One group even had a playroom for them so they saw it as an outing for them anyway.

Good luck and enjoy your pg.
smile

Dotty38 Thu 27-Aug-09 22:47:16

Get a list of bf support groups and visit before baby is born.

Don't think about the 6 month target, just set very small targets - each feed, each day.

At the slightest worry about the latch get a professional in (and I mean insist they see you face to face don't just take phone advise they need to see you) and make them stay with you for the whole feed not just look at the baby latching on then leaving (which is what they did with me).

Lansinoh in the cupboard (but don't use if your prone to thrush as it creates a perfect breeding ground for Thrush bacteria)

Loads of cuddle time with baby right from birth as much skin to skin as possible.

I second the double pump thing, have a super dooper pump I had a double pump which I borrowed from the hospital I had my baby at. Without that pump I wouldn't have managed to give her as much breast milk as I did.

Can you make sure the place you have your baby understand your strong wish to get breast feeding established and also be aware of your previous experiences with bf.

That's what I'll be doing next time around after painfully managing 8 weeks of bf, but bloody proud of that!

mathanxiety Fri 28-Aug-09 05:45:14

There's a happy medium between being constantly attached at the boob to the baby and feeding by the clock. Milk supply can actually be increased by feeding according to demand, so don't look at your watch when baby cries, just try feeding after eliminating other causes for the crying. And there's nothing wrong with a supplementary bottle for times when you're busy with the other DC's or when your supply is a little low (often the late afternoon is a time when you're tired and baby is a bit hungry/cranky).

MamaG Fri 28-Aug-09 09:15:16

Sorry, I didn't come back to this did I!

I can only speak from my own experiences.

DD was BF for 14 weeks
DS1 was BF for 6 weeks
DS2 is currently being BF at 9 months old

I was much more relaxed with DS2, and yes I just fed adn fed adn fed = there will be plenty of psots on here from me saying "but there isn't any more milk"! and lots from knowledgable folk saying "the more they feed, the more milk is produced" grin

I second lansinoh - but i do think it was the constnat feeding that got us off to such a flying start

elkiedee Fri 28-Aug-09 09:44:46

I find trying to organise things so I can feed ds2 somewhere I feel comfy is better than looking at the clock or totally on demand, eg before I leave the house and set off on a bus journey, at a cafe or in a park where I feel ok about settling down to feed, and in the early days, at ordinary baby groups - if I'm going to have to sit feeding and feeding, at least it's more interesting than being stuck in.

DS2 is nearly 7 months and although he's going through a grizzly teething spell, at least feeding is easy. I'm feeling sleep deprived, but didn't have to get out of bed every time he woke up the last few nihgts.

Sella Fri 28-Aug-09 10:55:26

Wow, haven't checked this for a couple of days and am over-whelmed by response! Thanks everyone, it's great to know there is so much support out there, and I haven't even had baby yet! I know I'm going to do much better this time.

Have been trying to collect my thoughts on the whole issue to see if there are any holes so here we go;

1. I'm hoping to have a home birth this time, really keen on it but my only worry is lack of bf support after?

2. Who thinks pumping is a good thing? I was told with DD2 to pump after every feed to increase the milk supply - felt like I did nothing else and don't really feel like it helped.

3. Would it be better to just keep the pump in the cupboard and go down the natural method, but more often?

I too strongly believe in Lansinoh - haven't heard of Silverettes tho so will check that out!

Mosschops30 - I did go swimming, thought I'd try for half an hour but enjoyed it so much I stayed for 40 mins! V proud of myself! Also had giant Lion Bar after!!!!!

Well I'm off on my hols today (husband lost his job earlier this year and just started new one so sunny Mablethorpe for a long weekend! Kids can't wait - and neither can I) grin

Hope everyone has a good weekend and can't wait to hear more posts on Tuesday! (Mosschops hope your not too poorly sad)

MamaG Fri 28-Aug-09 18:35:39

1. Sella, discuss your BF support requirements with your MW when you talk about HB. My MWs (after hospital birth!) were very supportive, as was my HV.

2. I have never pumped, just can't seem to do it and it hasn't affected my supply at all. I would just go down teh feed lots route

3. I can't see the harm in keeping a pump in teh cupboard. I did, but never used it

this is a good website

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