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Breastfeeding after 1 - do you still feed completely on demand?

(15 Posts)
LadyOfWaffle Sat 15-Aug-09 13:30:52

DS is 1 on Friday and still feeds alot. He is probably on and off over 20 times over 24 hours, sometimes shorter snacks but it means I worry now I am taking driving lessons that are 2 hours! Can I/should I start trying to wind this down and offer him something else, or continue as I am? I would be lying if I said I wasn't totally drained and exhausted (minimum of 4 feeds over the 10/12 hour night period) but I don't want to deny him either if it's what he wants and needs, rather than him maybe being abit... addicted? (can't think of a better word). I do feed him as soon as he is hurt etc, sometimes just for a minute or so - I don't mind it, but am I being abit free with it? He has calmed down incredibly over the past few months but I still seem to be constantly feeding ! grin What did you do at 12 m +? What is best for DS? Thanks

haventsleptforayear Sat 15-Aug-09 13:39:04

Oh god I would start saying no occasionally!

Can you offer a drink or distract?

For nighttime - google Dr Jay Gordon - night weaning - I have done this and it helps.

LadyOfWaffle Sat 15-Aug-09 18:17:14

I am not too worried about the night feeding - rather that than have to trapse to the kitchen to get water etc grin , just exhausting. I do wish he'd sleep longer though, and feed less in the day. DH offered him water when I was driving last week and he was OK, so maybe that will work... but I dont want to stop him if he is still neededing all these feeds

mears Sat 15-Aug-09 18:20:49

He doesn't 'need' them for nuytrition alone - he needs them because he wants them. At 1 year old he should be able to be distracted to do something else. Depends how toy want to play it really. He doesn not need a drink or breastfeed when you are away for 2 hours - it will do him no harnm to have a drink of water instead of a breastfeed now and again. Is he addicted or is it you?

LadyOfWaffle Sat 15-Aug-09 18:39:25

Defintly him, he try and distract him and he claws at me. The only time I offer uninitiated is when he is hurt, which he would claw for anyway when holding if I didn't offer first.

LadyOfWaffle Sat 15-Aug-09 18:40:32

*I try and distract him

TrinityRhinoIsInDetention Sat 15-Aug-09 18:43:18

I say no sometimes now but not in the night

Gecko is 2.6

mears Sat 15-Aug-09 18:44:55

You can wind down feeds if you want to but it doesn't sound as though you do. It will do him no harm for you to be apart for your driving lesson and if anything it will encourage him to become a bit more independant.
I fed on demand when my babies wanted it after 1 year, but I didn't feed as often as you do. Interestingly though, I was back at work before 1 year and it was amazing that my babies did not look for feeds when I was away - they were happy to have something else - a snack or drink and be distracted. When I was at home it was a different story.

mears Sat 15-Aug-09 18:46:20

I didn't make myself clear there. Typing in a hurry. He will be fine when you are not there. Don't worry thinking that he is being deprived by you being away.

mrsjammi Sat 15-Aug-09 18:47:20

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mrsjammi Sat 15-Aug-09 18:48:11

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iwantitnow Sat 15-Aug-09 19:56:29

I could have written the same about my DD, she was feeding the same at a year old. I did cut the night feeds out at a year with a limited form of CC - took 2 nights, DH went to her, never ever left to cry for more than 30mins, with us visiting every 5,10,15 minutes (Tanya Byron technique). At 18 months I was obviously having very early miscarriages - so I initiated cutting down feeds. I cut down one feed every 1/2 weeks - bribed with chocolate buttons, had to endure some screaming and tantrums but had no choice as heading towards 40. I only fed her on the sofa in her bedroom she soon learnt.

I wished I had started cutting down at 12 months. I now have a 5 month old DS but he doesn't seem as keen on BFing but plan to have him down to morning and night by 12 months - I think it is easier when they are younger, and give up BF much earlier. I found DD grew in confidence when I cut down BF she would turn to BF in toddler groups when she was uncertain, and was very clingy. DD self weaned at 23 months from the last feed but I was pregnant.

I think setting some boundaries can help you overcome any resentment and he doesn't need the night feeds so I would tackle that first.

Unlurked Sat 15-Aug-09 20:34:53

My DD is 15mths and still bf on demand. A Lot. A couple of weeks ago I was very ill with a sickness bug, I couldn't have looked after her and didn't want her to catch anything anyway so DP took her to stay at his parents house for a couple of nights while I got a bit better. While DD was away she was fine. She drank water from her beaker which she never does when with me and ate a bit more than usual but she was never upset and quite happy to be with her dad. DP brought her back twice a day to bf.

After I recovered and could look after her again she went straight back to normail, feeding all the time! The only differences are that she'll drink a bit more water now and I kept up not bf at night.

So the moral of my ramble is he'll happily go 2 hours without bf while you are away. Try and go 2 hours of no bf when you are with him and that may be a different story...

LadyOfWaffle Sat 15-Aug-09 21:02:44

Thanks for all your answers. I won't cut down the night feeds, the only reason I would is to get more sleep but would get less having to settle him/get him water as we co-sleep. After his morning feed (s) I will try and offer him water etc. abit more.

Jennylee Sat 15-Aug-09 21:47:26

I'm the same with my dd ladyofwaffle, it si totally draining but I don't knwo how to cut down and she does not always eat every day she refuses to eat some days so i feel i have to. she will only drink max of 3 ounces of formula but will drink water. It takes over your life, its just like a 6 month old. I need to get more of a structure to my days i think that would help

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