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Infant feeding

Still BFing at 13mo and have a couple of questions....

10 replies

hairymelons · 12/08/2009 20:51

DS is still lovin' the boob. I feel terrible about this but I'm getting to the point where I'm a bit embarassed about it. This is partly because of some nasty comments I heard about my sister when she BF DD to 18months, partly because I'm surprised we're still doing it and partly because I'm worried he'll never want to stop! He LOVES it!
So, what do I say to those 'bitty' comments and, will he EVER want to stop breastfeeding?

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whomovedmychocolate · 12/08/2009 21:01

I've had one comment in two years and 10 months. Having said I don't feed DD (2.10) in public anymore - she's physically too big to hold on my lap. But I do feed DS (13 months) when we are out and have not had any comments or looks.

But in any case I would just treat such remarks with the contempt they deserve. Tis good training for looking after toddlers to cultivate ignoring skills.

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hairymelons · 12/08/2009 21:10

Hello starfish. So you breastfed throughout your 2nd pregnancy? Amazing.
I've had a comment recently ("oh look, he wants bitty!" as DS pulls my top down and dives on me). I just went red which is pathetic.

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whomovedmychocolate · 12/08/2009 21:19

Who was this comment from?

While he's young enough not to pick up the word, I suggest get your money's worth out of the best swear words you know if that happens again.

Yes of course I fed through pregnancy - why wouldn't I?

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hairymelons · 12/08/2009 21:43

Funny enough, from a male friend who wasn't happy about his wife stopping BF at 3 months. Ishoos.....And yes swearing would be better than getting embarassed and saying "he only feeds at bedtime". Mainly because that's a lie! DH suggested "fuck off and grow up".

As for feeding in pregnancy, I suppose I imagined being all tired and big and looking after a toddler would make one less inclined to BF. I'm filled with admiration.

I suppose that what I need to do is grow a nice big pair of steely balls! Would come in handy for those public toddler moments as you say.

Thanks

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whomovedmychocolate · 12/08/2009 22:05

I would say 'I don't comment on your obsessive wanking, do I?' is the correct response. But I like your DH's too

Yes, tiredness....well feeding during pregnancy does involve lying down. If it's a choice between lying down and nursing and running round after an 18 month old, which would you go for?

Look here's the thing. Toddlers specialise in embarassment - you just have to suck it up till they are four or so when they can be bribed effectively - but breastfeeding is nothing to be embarrassed about - it's their problem, not yours.

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hairymelons · 14/08/2009 00:28

Well I think it's great, must be lovely feeding two.
So thanks, it'll be a deep breath & ignore from now on!

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mathanxiety · 14/08/2009 07:29

I fed my youngest DD until she was three and a half -- she really appreciated it. I felt fine with it, but then I never did it in public after she was about two. Not because of an embarrassing incident, but because she was usually distracted and not thinking about it. She nursed in the morning and at bedtime.

As far as dealing with opinionated onlookers -- if they actually say something negative, you could say you're sorry they feel that way. Or if they ask "Are you still..." the reply is Why do you need to know? I like the other suggestions too, very to the point.

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FlamingoBingo · 14/08/2009 07:39

Remember that, on a worldwide scale, your DS would be a very, very young non-bfing child if you weaned him now. The natural age for a child to wean is between 5 and 7 years, when their immune system is mature.

I don't think you're unusual to feel self-concsious about it, but sometimes feeling self-righteous about it can help when it comes to ignoring ignorant idiots!

And I fed through two and a half pregnancies - gives you a rest! Toddlers are very, very demanding, and getting a chance to lie on the sofa watching tv while they feed is a real godsend. Oh, and being able to switch off toddler tantrums in an instant is also a fantastic benefit of nursing through pregnancy, and beyond!

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FlamingoBingo · 14/08/2009 07:41

PS. I'd also suggest thinking up a word that doesn't embarrass you to use for 'nursing'. I have a friend who fell into toddler nursing who used to say 'boobie' when her toddler was a baby, and then regretted it when her toddler would say he wanted boobie!

I used milk, and both times I've fed a verbal child, they've used their approximation of 'milk' which hasn't sounded anything like anything much, really! DD1 said 'gak' and DD2 said 'yakyak' . No one knew what they were talking about so I could put them off easily without feeling embarrassed if I needed to.

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hairymelons · 14/08/2009 13:20

Ok thanks everyone!

DS says 'mama' at the minute but 'milk' is a good idea.

Does anyone know where I can get some facts & figures about extended bfing? I've had a few people mistakenly tell me that the WHO recommends bfing for 6 months, as in you should stop after 6 months. Would be nice to throw it back at them!