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New mum, worried that not BF correctly. Need advice

(33 Posts)
Ready Mon 10-Aug-09 11:31:20

Can I overfeed my baby with BFing? A friend has said that I should not be feeding as frequently as I have been. I really don't know what to do as this is my first baby.

I basically feed on demand (she is 17 days old) and I thought that I had cracked it, thought I knew when she was hungry and when she was just wet/hot. But now my friend has caused me to doubt everything.

How often should I be feeding?

Could overfeeding be the cause of her wind? The last 2 days she has really suffered with wind, and screams a plenty.

JetLi Mon 10-Aug-09 11:35:22

Knickers to your friend - feed her as often as she demands smile

tinierclanger Mon 10-Aug-09 11:36:05

Ignore your friend - you sound like you're doing fine! Feeding on demand is just what you should be doing.

Re the wind, you could try Infacol. Are you sure it's wind? Some useful advice here re fussiness when feeding.

NellyNoKnicks Mon 10-Aug-09 11:36:14

No no, your friend is wrong, you have to feed on demand to build up your supply. During the early days my ds was constantly attached and although its hard work I wouldn't have had it any other way.

treedelivery Mon 10-Aug-09 11:37:00

Ignore the friend. Only listen to friends if the are breasfeeding councillors.

Maybe if she is on there constantly, she might be a bit gripey. Maybe she is due a huge poo. Ride out these few days and see if she settles down again. Come back to a thread if it doesn't settle, or gets you down.
Has she wet nappies? Are the hv'mw happy with her?

You sound confident and utterly brilliant.

treedelivery Mon 10-Aug-09 11:37:53

It's sooooo nice when you take ages tying a post, then everyone agrees with you in the meantime grin. Hurrah!

WelliesAndPyjamas Mon 10-Aug-09 11:47:46

Friend is misinformed and just trying to be helpful.

Feed baby when she needs it - otherwise why else would she ask for it? grin I feed ds2 on demand and at 5 months now he is very healthy (never had a sniffle), strong, and is the happiest baby I've ever seen. I followed my instincts this time and fed and cuddled him as 'demanded' by him. I got it wrong with ds1 and tried to control things more, be more structured etc, and the contrast between them as babies can be no coincidence!

treedelivery Mon 10-Aug-09 11:50:42

2-3-4-5 hrly here too. 24/7 for first 2-3 weeks though. Its all good. Babies want us to be their flexible booby friend.

WelliesAndPyjamas Mon 10-Aug-09 11:55:06

oh and btw

ds2 was sent to the gp for a check because according to the centiles chart he was 'too big'... the gp said he was (and I quote!) the best advert for breastfeeding she had ever seen, and that it isn't possible to overfeed a BF baby - thery just take what they need.

Sophie1106 Mon 10-Aug-09 11:56:11


This is such a difficult time for you with everything and I really know where you are coming from. My baby is 8 weeks old and i am still learning about my baby. It takes time is the first thing to remember and don't be too hard on yourself. The biggest single bit of advice I would give is please don't follow others' advice unless you yourself feel it suits what's going on with your baby. Don't doubt your instinct because more often than not it is right. I have done that over the last 8 weeks when people have given advice(mother in law) and it hasn't been correct and has caused me to delay progress. Everybody's baby is different and people generalise bottlefing/bfing behaviours for all babies. One of the best things you can do is get independent advice from a HV or Midwife or b/f counsillor( in fact in my case the latter helped the most). If you have a local b/f group get yourself down there as soon as you feel able- this is the best insight that's available. One of the biggest things I have learned is that your baby doesn't just suckle because she is hungry-she does it also for comfort/to make her feel better. She may have wind for example so suckling will help it pass through or she may just want to go to sleep in which case suckling will help her feel comforted enough to do that.Also if it's hot weather she may just want a drink little and often or she may just want a snack instead of a big meal.My baby has gained 4lbs in 8 weeks mainly because I have put her to the breast each time she made her hunger cry- what I have recently learned is that she isn't necessarily hungry- she might just want to be close to mummy and not need the breast!
You will work this out for your own individual baby but certainly don't deny the breast if you feel she needs it and good weight gain in the early weeks is a good thing so don't worry- just take your time and enjoy getting to know your baby. She may hit a growth spurt at about 4-6 weeks and then she will def. want to eat a lot more so be prepared-it could be 3-4 days or it could be longer. Mine was 10 days eating constantly from 4pm-11pm.Sorry about the essay but hope it helps!

LoveBeingAMummy Mon 10-Aug-09 11:57:59

Another one saying trust your insticts (and us grin) and ignore your friend

LoveBeingAMummy Mon 10-Aug-09 11:58:44

PS I found keeping a record of when and how long DD feed for helped me, plus helps you remmber which boob you feed from last!

Ready Mon 10-Aug-09 12:08:53

thanks very much for your responses, much appreciated

i have been keeping a feeding diary and things were going really well until i started to doubt myself at the weekend

my friend follows the Tracey Hogg EASY routine and swears by it. i think that made me start to doubt myself because baby nearly always falls asleep on the breast and feeds more frequently than every 3 hours some of the time.

to be honest i'm not sure i know the hunger cry from any other cry because she only seemed to cry when hungry until the weekend when started to try some different things - now seems to have caused wind problems which we're trying to get over by going back to first way of doing things

sorry for the ramble, just want to do what's right for my baby and a bit panicked i'm doing it all wrong

treedelivery Mon 10-Aug-09 12:11:38

Sophie I love your post.

You are another briliant star. How quickly you have arrived at that knowledge and faith. It takes many of us months and months, years and years, babies and babies to get to such calm knowledge.

Sounds like you have been able to get to some good and great support from the hp's which so many need but can't access/don't get. BF cafes are the way forward in so many cases.

Might print that post and stick it to the fridge!

treedelivery Mon 10-Aug-09 12:12:57

Your baby knows more about what she wants than the baby whisperer.



Ready Mon 10-Aug-09 15:36:11

I love you all.

AnarchyAunt Mon 10-Aug-09 15:38:30

You are doing nothing wrong smile

The Baby Whisperer has not met your baby and cannot tell you what will work for her. If she wants feeding then she wants feeding - no need to worry about what a book says, or what your friend says. It really, truly, isn't possible to overfeed her.

Sounds to me like you really have 'cracked it'. The most important thing now is to keep your faith and allow yourself to believe you are doing a wonderful job. It's really hard when people (however well meaning) say things that undermine that confidence but try to ignore it and carry on.

tiktok Mon 10-Aug-09 15:41:52

In addition, the Baby Whisperer is especially rubbish on breastfeeding - one of the worst books on this topic that are around. The knowledge and understanding is very poor and there are bits the author simply made up, from nowhere (I'm thinking of a substance-unknown-to-man-or-beast-or-science called 'quencher milk - WTF???)

It's fine if people find any book helpful, but not when they are ruled by the book to the extent they think if other people are not 'following' it they are doing something wrong

AnarchyAunt Mon 10-Aug-09 15:42:46

And Sophie is absolutely, beautifully right.

Babies breastfeed for many reasons, as nearly all their needs can be met at the breast - warmth, closeness, security, to ease any discomfort, and more besides. A good and successful breastfeeding relationship is not just about food by any means.

pigletmania Mon 10-Aug-09 18:45:08

I will just contribute even though i did not bf for very long at all, just keep at it, feed on demand when your lo needs it and not what some book tells you should do.

logrrl Mon 10-Aug-09 21:37:50

Hi-what lovely support you have here! I am a first time Mum as well and read the Baby Whisperer and that other popular manual (sshh) as I struggled to find my feet in the first few weeks. It made feeding my baby a misery, gave me a crying unhappy baby (I fear I starved him of milk and cuddles)and left me demented, until I had the wit to remember what "on demand" means. I now follow the excellent advice given here to STAY AWAY FROM THE BOOKS, as least as far as BF is concerned.

Ready Wed 12-Aug-09 15:44:48

Thanks so much everyone... DH told me to throw the *£$%ing book away... which we have done (well put it away as it is not mine) - but I am back thinking that I will feed when DD needs feeding, on demand.

Sadly she has developed colic, and I am wondering if I have brought it on as it coincides with the doubts on Saturday, I really hope it wasn't my stupidity that is now causing her wind pain. Poor love. We've got infacol and going to do some colic massage next week.

Thanks again for all the supportive words - I am so grateful for this forum.

DrCosyTiger Wed 12-Aug-09 16:14:05

Oh Ready, don't blame yourself for the colic. This is just something that happens with babies and it's not your fault. I had the same problem at your stage. Infacol seemed to help so defintely give that a try. So did lying DD flat and gently pushing her knees up and down to her chest. Also - and this is going to sound odd - I sometimes found that feeding her again helped. In fact sometimes I think when DD was crying and looking uncomfortable, it wasn't anything to do with wind but she was actually hungry. Whatever happens, try and hold on to the fact that this is a phase that will eventually pass and it's not your fault. Hang on in there.

Can I also just echo what everyone else has said - don't underestimate how much a tiny baby needs to BF. There were evenings when I literally spent hours on end sat on the settee almost constantly feeding. Like you, I was briefly thrown off course by my MIL who told me my LO couldn't possibly be that hungry, but MIL was wrong - she was.

MrsBadger Wed 12-Aug-09 16:15:53

give book back to the lender

I read it and snorted

never mind EASY, dd was, like yours, an AH-YES baby

she'd start Awake and Happy so I left her to it under the dangly toy arch and had some You time. Eventually she'd get hungry and would Eat till she Slept.


Ready Wed 12-Aug-09 19:40:49

AH YES!! grin Love it.

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