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giving up bf as DS nearly 2, any tips for making it easier for me and him?

(14 Posts)
NumptyMum Sun 09-Aug-09 21:58:36

I was hoping DS would self-wean, but he enjoys his milk. He's only on a bedtime feed now, I ask him if he wants books with Daddy, or milk, and he always says 'milk'. Then has books with Daddy after.

I've had to work some weekends, so I know he can cope without his milk, and will be working a weekend soon so was thinking of stopping at that point.

Any advice about what might make it easier for him, and also for me and my boobs? He will not drink cows milk (only from a spoon from MY cereal in the morning...).

Thanks in advance.

Babieseverywhere Sun 09-Aug-09 22:54:15

They say children self weaning between 2 and 4 years old, so if you wanted to wait it out until he self weaned you are in the right ballpark.

I haven't weaned a child yet, but have read similar posts on Mumsnet and it is often suggested dropping one feed at a time and preferally a few days apart and many mothers seem to leave the bedtime feed as the last one to drop.


NumptyMum Mon 10-Aug-09 21:12:50

Thanks for your post, Babieseverywhere. I'm down to just the one feed, so would only need to drop that, but am not sure what to expect re my milk drying up (or not, and boobs getting sore/problematic). I'm sure that DS would love to continue with his bedtime feed, and would probably self wean at 4 given the chance, but for various reasons I think I should give up now or at least in the next couple of months.

So does anyone have tips for how to sensitively drop the final feed? Or how to manage boobs that don't get the idea that you HAVE dropped the final feed?

NumptyMum Tue 11-Aug-09 07:38:53

If it's any easier and helps someone answer this, please ignore DS's age - and just respond because surely EVERYONE who bf their baby gave us/gives up at some point and needs to manage that?

Hopefully this may help folk answer/give tips...

TrinityRhinoIsInDetention Tue 11-Aug-09 07:47:06

I dont want to leave this floundering for answers
I dont think its the age thats stopping people posting

for me its just that I cant help you as I allow to self wean

good luck

Babieseverywhere Tue 11-Aug-09 08:27:37

Like TrinityRhino I am letting my children self wean so I don't know how to help.

Have you tried offering a cup of cows milk instead of your evening nurse ? Would he go down without nursing if you were out of the house at night ?

Babieseverywhere Tue 11-Aug-09 08:36:18

I suspect it is very easy to wean a young baby as it would be very parent led and the baby can not really voice an opinion/alternative, so things are more one sided. Trying to wean a reluctant toddler sounds far more difficult. He has opinions and will ask to nurse if you don't offer.

That said a nursing relationship needs to work on both sides. If it is not working for you, you need to change things somehow.

Have you tried offering a cup of cow's milk instead of the breastfeed ? What would happen if you were out of the house at his bedtime, would he go to bed with daddy and no breast milk or a cup of cow's milk ?

NumptyMum Tue 11-Aug-09 08:47:44

DS is absolutely fine when I'm not there - I've had to work a number of weekends away since the start of the year, and used to worry that it would be a problem (at that point he was bf both morning and night) but he was fine being looked after for a weekend by my DH.

So perhaps your tip of just being out of the house for a few days as bedtime might work. He doesn't drink cows milk at all, only off my spoon when I'm having cereal in the morning... I was going to let him self-wean originally, but various circumstances mean I'm now more keen to stop bf, particularly as I know he can manage fine without it both physically and emotionally if I'm not there.

Any hints on how to manage milk supply/boobs, anyone?

Babieseverywhere Tue 11-Aug-09 09:01:56

At one feed a day your milk supply should drop off without problems. You can hand express for comfort if you need to and watch for any red patches or lumps which might indicate a blocked ducts forming.

Would you like to talk about the circumstances which mean you have to wean now ?

hairymelons Tue 11-Aug-09 09:16:29

numptymum I'm kind of in the same boat but DS is a bit younger than yours. Can't offer any serious advice but I did read once that an old wives kind of method for weaning toddlers was to offer mummy milk or hot chocolate! Hot chocolate wins apparently.
Oh, and my sister stopped when DD was 18mo (was only giving bedtime feed) with no engorgement or soreness.

Bettymum Tue 11-Aug-09 09:26:23

I stopped at 16 months, and was expecting huge tears as DD enthusiastically fed every night. I had started reading her a story before feeding her, to get her used to a new routine.
The night we stopped, DH picked her up from nursery, and played for half an hour as usual, then took her upstairs for her bath...then texted me as I was lurking outside in the car so DD didn't see me blush and I crept inside and waited downstairs for the tears...which never came.
DH read her her story and gave her a cup of (cows) milk, and put her to bed. He also did the next evening, and I did the third. Boobs were absolutely fine - I was worried about them turning into huge rocks but they didn't.
It was a bit of an anticlimax to be honest! If your DS won't drink cows milk, would he take formula? Funnily enough DD doesn't like warm cows milk but loves cold - you could try both perhaps?
Don't know if that rambling post helps - I was expecting it to be a huge issue and it wasn't. All you can do it try and see what happens I think.

iwantitnow Tue 11-Aug-09 09:27:18

DD dropped the evening feed by herself at 23 months. I had such bad morning sickness, well all day sickness I felt too ill to feed her 2 nights in a row, DH put her to sleep both nights. On the third night she didnt ask for milk when I put her to bed so I didnt offer and that was that, she never lunged for my boob again - was it self weaning I suppose so but I was pregnant.

Give milk before a rigid bedtime routine, then drop the milk - dont ask if he wants it, get DH to put him to bed for a few nights and he may forget like my DD. DD has always refused cows milk too.

Good luck, I'm planning to wean my DS onto cows milk when he is one!

NumptyMum Tue 11-Aug-09 09:44:48

Thanks for all the suggestions, they are very helpful. I may give it a bit longer and see if DS will self wean but given I'm working a weekend away soon, followed by a week's hols then another weekend working away, thought I'd see whether he was ready to drop the last feed - I'm sure it's more habit than anything else.

I like the hot choc idea! DS has spurned banana milkshake so I'm not sure whether he'd go for even that... but DH or I will drink it instead if not!

Rindercella Tue 11-Aug-09 11:01:48

Interesting, I am now very keen to stop the final (bedtime) b/f with DD, who will be 2 years old at the end of this month and I was going to post a similar OP to Numpty! My main reason for stopping is that I am now pregnant and my boobs are killing me, and it is agony when DD feeds. I was hoping that DD would self wean, but she's showing no signs of giving up anytime soon!

Perhaps I need to make myself scarce at bedtime and get DH to put her to bed.

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