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MIL's sarky comment today

(50 Posts)
LeonieSoSleepy Sat 08-Aug-09 20:41:34

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hester Sat 08-Aug-09 20:44:54

Of course you didn't, as I'm sure you know. You say she is always judgemental, but pro breastfeeding, so it seems to me she just couldn't resist making a mardy comment, but it couldn't be about bf per se.

If you had been hit by a car, I'm sure your baby would have taken milk from a bottle rather than starve. It's nonsense to think that they should be acclimatised to a bottle 'just in case'. Ignore!

onepieceoflollipop Sat 08-Aug-09 20:45:17

My gut feeling from your description of this conversation is that it was never going to be a conversation that would go well.

Perhaps you came across as a bit smug. You say yourself that she is a judgmental lady. If she can be negative/judgmental then perhaps it was unlikely to expect a 100% "nice" response from her to your initial comments.

onepieceoflollipop Sat 08-Aug-09 20:47:00

Also to add, that (imo) if you choose to and are able to bf then there is no need to introduce a bottle/formula "just in case"

I was very unwell (hospitalised) for 24 hours when dd1 was tiny. She just came with me, thankfully I was able to feed lying down. Apart from one silly doctor, who made a similar comment to your mil, all of the other medical and nursing staff had no issues with my choice.

LeonieSoSleepy Sat 08-Aug-09 20:50:28

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LeonieSoSleepy Sat 08-Aug-09 20:56:31

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moomaa Sat 08-Aug-09 21:04:46

My DH fretted about this. He had DD once when I expected her to be asleep but she woke up hungry crying for me and wouldn't take a bottle. I think it freaked him out. I did say he could always give her milk from a cup in an emergency.....she just didn't do bottles.

I think it's just an observation, reasonable of her to make, given a conversation about bottles had been prompted by you (a bit of a strange conversation IMO but there you go) and reasonable of you to ignore her observation. Not a big deal.

largeginandtonic Sat 08-Aug-09 21:16:49

Hmmmmmm her comment sounds like she wanted to dig at you whatever.

I have bf all of my children, dd2 6 months still feeding now.

I have to confess that i gave them all a bottle 'just in case'. It is probably a bit morbid of me i suppose.

Ds3 would not have a bottle or dummy and ds5 was similar. Ds3 was 16 mths when he weaned but ds5 was 6 months when he would take a bottle (never a dummy)

I have no idea why i think this, it just worried me that if ever i could't be around for themi wouldn't want it to be any harder on themthan necessary so i felt if they took a bottle it would be one less thing for them to stress about hmm

[disclaimer]

I am MAD AS A BOX OF FROGS.

I wonder if anyone else does this.

Anyhoo, poor you having to put up with a mil like that for all these years. You need a 'well done for my endless patience with mil' badge.

<< pins badge to Leonie >>

LeonieSoSleepy Sat 08-Aug-09 21:18:37

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LeonieSoSleepy Sat 08-Aug-09 21:19:44

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largeginandtonic Sat 08-Aug-09 21:55:49

Leonie i only expressed for some, mostly it was a bottle of Aptamil.

Glad you liked the badge smile

DitaVonCheese Sat 08-Aug-09 22:37:55

She's barking. Even babies who have previously taken a bottle can sometimes stop taking them, as threads on here attest. There are more ways of getting milk into a baby than bottles and boobs!

unknownrebelbang Sat 08-Aug-09 22:52:32

It is a bit of a loaded question to ask someone who you yourself describe as judgemental, imho.

Her comment was, of course, uncalled for.

StayFrosty Sat 08-Aug-09 23:06:38

I wouldn't have asked her that question. And far from being two faced, I think it is fairly commendable of her to have kept her opinion on this to herself all these years as she obviously feels strongly about it (not saying she is right btw, at all, but the mil generation did things differently and it must take superhuman effort sometimes for them to keep quiet). If she had started on about giving a bottle 'just in case' in the early days, wouldn't you have felt like she was interfering and undermining you and being generally negative? I would have.

I have never given a bottle either btw. It crossed my mind, and I bought some, but couldn't be arsed. And I have a mil who I can see biting her tongue at times about various things, and I just think 'ah, cheers, I appreciate you doing that' and don't give her an opportunity to air these grievances. grin

DitaVonCheese Sat 08-Aug-09 23:09:10

That's a good point actually.

sleeplessinstretford Sat 08-Aug-09 23:38:41

i can't imagine why you would ask the question,if not to get brownie points for being a 'better mum as bf and never leaving child with anyone' against ff sil...?
seems a bit of a bizarre conversation for you to have,and you asked for an opinion and got one-it would have been unreasonable of her to volunteer that though.

TheCrackFox Sat 08-Aug-09 23:49:42

It is an odd question to ask. No matter how sh answered it she would have probably caused offence.

verylittlecarrot Sun 09-Aug-09 00:00:32

well, I don't know about any answer causing offence. If she'd responded "I occasionally worried about them refusing bottles, just in case of an emergency, still, what can you do..."

that might have been less offensive than her chosen wording;

"i've always thought you were being foolish and downright irresponsible etc etc"

which is rather rude, I'd say!

LeonieSoSleepy Sun 09-Aug-09 09:53:13

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thumbwitch Sun 09-Aug-09 09:59:36

As an exclusive bf'er, I never saw the need to force DS to take a bottle as well, just in case. He had to have expressed milk a few times, once when he had an op aged 7 weeks for e.g. but after a few months he was utterly uninterested in a bottle. He would have sips of water from a cup but not touch a bottle. Even now he prefers open cups to his sippy cups (although he will use them if driven to it).

Your MIL didn't need to add on the rude tag, it was either staggeringly thoughtless or she meant to be meanly rude.

MrsTittleMouse Sun 09-Aug-09 10:02:36

What on Earth possessed you to start that conversation?!? grin

I can completely understand why you didn't give your DBs bottles - in your case it would have been a huge amount of time and energy into a project that almost certainly wouldn't have worked. And time and energy isn't something that you have a lot of when you have a baby! But I agree with her that, if possible, that it's useful for a breastfed baby to have that skill, as it does
give options if the Mum is hospitalised or away for any reason. I always thought that when I was sick in hospital wasn't the the least stressful way for DH to train them onto a bottle, and if I'm honest, I appreciated being able to have a few hours of babysitting as my babies were very demanding and didn't sleep much.

Her commuication skills need a bit of honing, mind you.

LeonieSoSleepy Sun 09-Aug-09 10:07:48

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thumbwitch Sun 09-Aug-09 10:10:19

grin at Leonie's FIL

piscesmoon Sun 09-Aug-09 10:11:29

I don't know why you asked the question! She was only responding. If you ask questions you tend to get honest replies.I don't give an opinion unasked, but if people ask me I tend to do the truth-did you want her to lie?!

LeonieSoSleepy Sun 09-Aug-09 10:11:40

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