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And the nominations for the most annoying baby to breastfeed award are as follows...

(22 Posts)
HuffySpice Thu 06-Aug-09 12:06:22

Baby Huff, who starts his breastfeed lying next to me on the bed, tummy to tummy, my arm crooked over the top of his head. From there he wriggles onto his tummy, then he tucks his knees under and pushes his legs straight. He is now an inverted V, standing on his head and feet, bottom waggling high in the air, and hand nearest me affectionately, repeatedly thwacking me in the face. Here he is happy to remain, humming absent mindedly as he feeds upsidedown, my nipple stretching like chewing gum as he waggles gently around.

Any more nominations?

FaintlyMacabre Thu 06-Aug-09 12:11:28

Sounds familiar!

I don't get thwacked in the face, but instead he like to rub his face hard against my breast, while twiddling the other nipple with his claws other hand.
Of course, breastfeeding is just for my benefit after 12 months hmm.

gingerbunny Thu 06-Aug-09 12:16:11

ha ha and i thought my ds2 was the only one!
he likes to move himself so he's laid on his belly, with his head pointing towards me the rest of his body away from me. knees under his belly,he pushes his nose right in and i just see those two huge eyes looking at me! all the while he's poking at me. he likes it even better if he does it while i'm laid on my back. my dh says he looks like a suckling piglet!

HuffySpice Thu 06-Aug-09 13:25:52

Ahhh yes, the nipple twiddling. I know it well.

hairymelons Thu 06-Aug-09 13:51:59

The inverted-v-with-nipples-stretched-to-snapping-point! It's a favourite in our house. Also, nipping me HARD, grabbing at my mouth, biting and....putting his finger up my nose and then into my mouth blush. Talk about learned behaviour, am blaming DH for that one blush blush

NellyNoKnicks Thu 06-Aug-09 14:01:41

Oh great, my ds decided to try the inverted v last night.... sounds like it only gets worse from here.

gingerbunny Thu 06-Aug-09 14:12:49

the worse is twisting the skin on the inside of my arm as he's feeding. hence i have lots of little bruises.
he's also cutting four teeth and has started biting too. shock

peppapighastakenovermylife Thu 06-Aug-09 20:16:55

What is it with the face whacking? DD does this to me. She also steals my glasses if I dont have contacts in and then pokes me (or herself) in the eye with them. She also likes to kick her legs about madly - just cant keep still!

Oh how I long for the tiny baby again sometimes lol grin

Alieight Fri 07-Aug-09 17:34:50

DS also starts off his feed lying nicely next to me under the crook of my arm...at some point he rolls away from me (occasionally remembering to unlatch before he does - ouch), gets onto his hands and knees and crawls back over.

He then crawls up my tummy till he's kneeling / crouching on the bed with his hands supporting him on my tum (tickles a bit) and dive bombs my topmost nipple with his mouth wide open...and latches onto whatever his mouth lands on.

I currently have lots of little love-bites all over my left breast hmm

wuglet Fri 07-Aug-09 17:39:11

Yet another inverted-V feeder here!
He also likes to put his finger up my nose or whack me in the face.

When I feed him laid down he will sometimes pull off (and I do mean pull!) and wriggle so he is against my stomach and start blowing huge raspberries as well.

Or he will kneel up and then dive bomb onto the top nipple (as I am laid on my side).

Blimmin kids eh?

BelleWatling Fri 07-Aug-09 17:47:29

There is a name for this then - yes another "inverted V feeder". He also likes to scratch at my chest, sing, hum and jump up and down, nipple in mouth and dance (dressage style breastfeeding).

GruffaloMama Fri 07-Aug-09 20:38:32

how about trying to latch on whilst he's sitting on a cot-top changer (pulls down top and bra, lunge and latch - all in about 0.4 of a second).

hairymelons Sun 09-Aug-09 00:29:13

tee hee, gruffalomama! At least they never pull down your top and help themselves in the supermarket though, that would be REALLY embarassing...

kitkatqueen Sun 09-Aug-09 00:41:10

Kitkatkid3 (20mnths) likes to try to sneakily latch on when I'm sitting couch potatoe like on the sofa, all well and good but whilst feeding and humming he repeaedly pokes his unborn baby brother in the bum and laughs when he starts kicking! Its as if he's saying "you can't have any"!!

Oh there will be trouble in the house of kitkats when kitkatkid4 pops! grin

BouncingTurtle Sun 09-Aug-09 08:48:05

I'd just got out of the shower and dried myself off, DS was wandering around the bedroom. I bent down to pick up something I had dropped, and DS came over and helped himself.

He deserves the most annoying breastfeeder award.

He is currently co-sleeping with us. He'll wake up and whine, so I position myself and he latches on. He 'll suck for about a minute then pull at my shoulder until I get the other boob in position, then latch on again. He'll then want to swap about 2-3 times, until I start getting annoyed and tell him "No more" and turn over. Sometimes he willl go to sleep, other times her will start climbing over me to try to nget latched on again.
And he'll repeat this about 3-4 times a night hmm
I hope his fecking bed arrives soon....

BertieBotts Sun 09-Aug-09 10:42:16

Hahaha I recognise ALL of these. I love the merrily humming one grin and the stealth feeding which leads me to cry "I am NOT a buffet!"

I have no idea what nature was thinking when she came up with the whole grabbing/pulling/hitting thing. The best way to combat this I've found is a sleeping bag with little tags on which he fiddles with instead. Nothing else works!

HuffySpice Sun 09-Aug-09 10:52:36

Ahh yes BouncingTurtle. The boob is always greener on the other side of the chest. <nods sagely>

Ds likes this game too... Mmmmm left boob is delicious... oh no wait! I've just spotted right boob! I bet right boob would be even MORE delicious! <lunge, poke, squish, wriggle, knee, grunt> Ahhhh, see, I knew right boob would be even more delicious... wait! I've just spotted LEFT boob! I bet LEFT boob would be EVEN more delicious <grab, pull, poke, dribble>

[Repeat until Mummy completely loses sense of humour]

PinkTulips Sun 09-Aug-09 11:09:46

DS2... tongue tied and can't latch on properly as a result so gets his milk by chewing on my nipple til the milk flows.

Unfortunately for the first 5 months of his life the flow from right boob was too quick for him and he choked constantly meaning to feed him on that side i had to be lying down with him on top of me... very practical with a 2 and 4 year old to deal with too.

He also can't concentrate on feeding at all if there's anyone around which means if i try to feed him anywhere other than at home on our own i simply end up flashing my tits at everyone around me while he twists himself around pulling on my top to make sure the whole room gets maximum exposure

And when i feed him sitting down now he uses and surface his legs can come in contact with to push of against repeatedly as if he's jumping, with my boob clamped in his mouth. If i position him so his feet can't tough anything he hangs his entire body weight off the side of my lap and basically hangs by my nipple, if i try and support him with my arm he kicks and twists so much he practically ends up on the floor, or would if he didn't havbe my nipple clamped between his gums.

I can honestly say if he's been my first i couldn't have fed him.... he's a disaster.

phdlife Sun 09-Aug-09 11:24:44

ah this has had me pmsl, thanks.

thought dd was getting annoying what with the latch, unlatch/smile, latch, unlatch/smile, latch, unlatch/smile routine, but clearly she's got a loooooong way to go!

BouncingTurtle Sun 09-Aug-09 12:34:08

Phdlife - yes, DS also does the unlatch, big cheesy grin thing to.

Actually, compared to his other habits, it is quite cute! At least he doesn't nipple twiddle1

MiniMarmite Sun 09-Aug-09 20:09:24

MiniMiniMarmite who hasn't been fed anywhere other than lying down on a bed for 8 (out of 11) months because he is too nosey in public places (even if just our living room)/can't (won't) latch if I am sitting up!

Even in this position he still crawls off every few minutes to terrorise the cat who is usually sleeping on the end of the bed!

hairymelons Sun 09-Aug-09 20:14:30

I get the cheesy grin too but it's not a good thing- it always comes just before a bite! Now he's got his molars I can't even stick my finger in his mouth. It's terrifying!

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