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please help really fed up and v sad

(15 Posts)
KWS5 Mon 03-Aug-09 17:25:22

Please somebody make me feel better!!

My ds is 16 weeks and bf from the start he gained weight well and i had no problems or concerns but the last 6 weeks he has only put on 3oz, i did hope it was just a blp and it would start to go back up but got him checked today and he has now lost the 3oz, my Hv Has said need to try a ff at night to help but i now feel so useless has this happend to anybody else? is it usual for this to happen?

Everytime i think about it i get upset Hv just said it can happen at 4 months and not my fault and if i think about it we have taken a step back in sleeping as he would sleep 4 hours a night but now lucky if get 2 and started to bed share to see if that helped but has made no difference.

Just greatful for any support

DitaVonCheese Mon 03-Aug-09 17:37:56

So sorry to hear that you're feeling so down. If it helps, there is a massive massive growth spurt at around 16 weeks, which would explain the interrupted sleep.

Hopefully Tiktok or someone wise will be along to advise re the weight gain etc but my suggestion would be feed feed feed, and avoid a formula top-up if you can because this may impact on your supply.

Are you using the same scales and making sure he's had a big feed just before he's weighed?

And congrats on your new baby boy!

tiktok Mon 03-Aug-09 17:50:16

Hi, KW55. What a shame your HV had no idea how to help except offer a ff at night

If it's the case your baby is basically fine, and just needs more to eat, then the good news is you have exactly what he needs - in your breasts. He just needs more of it, more often He seems to know this, hence his need to feed more at night.

The same thing can happen in the day - more frequent feeds, using at least both breasts at each session, and possibly breast compression (google it) though to be honest, more frequent feeds on both breasts might be sufficient to address the slow weight gain.

Perhaps you can call the HV and ask her if this would be a good alternative strategy, to avoid the use of formula and to protect bf?

KWS5 Mon 03-Aug-09 20:48:52

Thanks feeling a bit better now was awful to be told i was not good enough.

i have been trying to feed more often and will offer all the time but he is not always interested i tend to feed him ever two hours anyway during day and he gets both especially as he was not putting weight on but it just is making no difference, i would not even mind just having him feed constant (like when very little) but he is just not fussed and pulls on and off and will mess around he is fit and well in every other way but has now dropped off the weight chart and my HV had no other advise to offer even when i brok down and said i did not want to give him a bottle. not happy about it but i feel i might just have to give in.

KWS5 Mon 03-Aug-09 20:52:03

Just to add
Could it make a difference that my periods have come back as they returned at 3 months and thats when the weight stopped going on???

thisisyesterday Mon 03-Aug-09 20:56:01

has he been ill? they can sometimes lose weight if ill

and remmeber that breastfed babies tend to gain fairly quickly at first and then plataeu, which your baby could be doing. then if he had been ill or anything it wouldn't have helped.

tbh i hate having babies weighed. ds2 wasn't weighed at all after 6 weeks and ds3 won't be either. if they're happy, healthy, meeting developmental milestones i honestly think you have very little to worry about

also i wonder if he has gone up in height? sometimes they put all their energy into growing lengthways and the weight can stay static.

so if you think about it, say for exsample he has started to plateau (so gfaining less weight anyway) added with perhaps a growth spurt in length and a possible illness and you could easily end up losing a bit of weight.
it annoys me that HV's don't look into these things properly

DitaVonCheese Mon 03-Aug-09 21:12:18

It sounds as though you could do with seeing someone maybe - could you give one of the breastfeeding helplines a call?

logrrl Mon 03-Aug-09 21:19:35

How anxiety provoking! I second the suggestions for more informed help as suggested by DitaVonCheese-my HV is clueless about BF and apparently bemused by my BF. Not all health professionals are as clued up as they should be unfortunately (I am one!), so don't despair yet!

KWS5 Mon 03-Aug-09 21:25:37

Thanks Thisisyesterday you have just summed up the whole lot he has got cold at the moment and has really grown in length, if i had not got him weighed it would not have even crossed my mind that there might be a problem, but now the Hv has said it needs addressing it has got me worried about it i might give him a week and see what happens and then re assess.

KWS5 Mon 03-Aug-09 21:31:54

Thanks feeling so much better, i cried everytime i looked at him this morning i think he felt i was going mad poor thing anyway I am also going to go to my local breastfeeding clinic and see what they say as i am determind to bf and i think people use a bottle as a easy fix when they dont know what else to suggest.

DitaVonCheese Mon 03-Aug-09 22:04:55

I cross-posted with thisis. Leaving it for a week and getting some real life support sounds like a great idea to me. So glad to hear you are feeling better

thisisyesterday Mon 03-Aug-09 22:23:56

glad you're feeling better. i think you have a good plan, def go to a BF place and talk to some people who really know their stuff.

interestingly, i was talking to a lactation consultant the other day and saying that babies seem to be weighed too often and she said that guidelines for HP's say that babies should only be weighed monthly. i guess for precisely this reason... weighing too frequently can bring up as many problems as it can solve.

Kaza1 Mon 03-Aug-09 22:32:22

Hi just wanted to say that the exact same happened to my DD2. She just stopped gaining weight and dropped through the centiles. We attended the paed and dietian and I was actively encouraged to FF but didn't she wouldn't take a bottle. Anyway she's now 3 and is skinny but healthy it's just her build I was exactly the same when her age (not the case now unfortunately). Do what you want to do don't be bullied or guilted into FF if it's not the route you want to go down. My mum read a report about BF babies and it concluded that the weight charts should be different for BF babaies and FF babies as they gain weight differently and these charts are un realistic for BF babies. Keep your chin up and good luck Karen x

pushmepullyou Mon 03-Aug-09 22:40:28

This happened to me as well. Breast fed babies often plateau a bit from 4 months onwards, this is not necessarily indicative of a problem.

My DD was the same - dropped from the 25th centile to the 2nd, but my HV just said 'look at the baby not the chart' and she was perfectly happy and healthy - just small.

I didn't supplement and at 25 weeks she shot up again and put on half a pound a week for about 4 weeks. if you don't want to FF then don't. I did find it helped me feel better if I expressed some milk in the morning and dream fed it to her at night. No idea if it actually made her put on weight though!

Sassyfrassy Mon 03-Aug-09 23:07:23

Have you tried feeding him in a quiet, darkened room? Babies this age often get very interested in their surroundings, too interested to have time to feed.

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