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Trying to drop the bedtime bf - not going well...

(9 Posts)
Essie3 Tue 28-Jul-09 21:48:46

DS is 13 and a half months. He's bf morning and evening, but I'm trying to drop the evening (bedtime) feed.
He has in the past been put to bed without me there, and settled nicely with no fuss, and no bf.
For the last 2 weeks he's been biting and mucking around instead of feeding at bedtime, but he was teething.
I decided to drop the bedtime feed on Friday, and it's been trouble ever since - DH has been trying to settle him but it takes up to an hour with angry crying. On Friday, I caved and fed him (but he still fought for a good 20 mins after the feed!). Tonight my Mum persevered (DH away) but it took a hour.

How should I be going about this? Should it be me trying to settle him without the feed? Or is the refusing to settle thing a huge coincidence? (He would previously settle himself - like a dream! - I would feed him, put him down, say goodnight and go, and that was it.)
Or do I just give in, and try again in a couple of weeks?

PrincessToadstool Tue 28-Jul-09 21:53:00

Are you dropping this feed because you want to wean him, or is it something else?

If you are not rushing to wean I would wait a bit. My experience with DS is just that when he was ready to drop each feed in the run-up to weaning, the whole process was pretty peaceful and stress-free. I did want to wean for quite some time before it happened though and I understand frustration, but now it's all over for us I am so glad I can look back and remember the nice bits rather than stress and battles.

Essie3 Tue 28-Jul-09 22:06:34

<Thickie emoticon> weaning = off the breast? He's on solid food and lots of it.

I want peaceful and stress free! sad

I want to drop this feed so that I get my freedom back a bit - I'm beginning to feel tied down (I am, until after he's bf in the evening!). I'm happy to keep the morning feed.

fishie Tue 28-Jul-09 22:12:29

i'd keep evening feed but not you doing bedtime. i had a break from 9-15m, dh did it.

you will still be tied, bf or not, if you are putting to bed always. go out!

Essie3 Tue 28-Jul-09 22:15:55

DH works away during the week. Mum is willing to come round if I'm going out (I will have work things from September) but not to settle DS if I'm sitting on my arse eating biscuits! grin Fair enough really.

DebInAustria Wed 29-Jul-09 06:47:50

I'll bump this for you Essie, is he having a cup of milk instead or what?Is he having that in the same place you used to feed him?

Besom Wed 29-Jul-09 07:18:59

There might be other developmental things going on here as well.

My dd is roughly the same age and I'm not trying to drop the feed but the other night she suddenly started fussing at bed time when before she had been going off like a dream. She was also biting me and messing around.

I think something developmental has happened and she has got the idea that she can manipulate situations and delay going to bed if she pretends she wants more milk just at the point I'm putting her in her cot.

We have been trying to be consistent and a bit firm and she is settling down again. Not much help I know, but maybe now isn't the time to drop the feed if he's also going through some developmental changes at the same time?

Essie3 Wed 29-Jul-09 12:32:38

Thanks Deb - yes, he is given milk in a beaker, and took some. But Besom I do wonder whether there's something else going on and I've just managed to pick a bad time to drop this feed!
I'm trying 1 more night, but then I'm all alone on Thursday, and if there's trouble, I'll relent and feed him. smile

abdnhiker Thu 30-Jul-09 10:03:27

My 13.5 month old has been a bit more difficult lately and he's still BF, we put it down to teething but lately I'm wondering if he's just (in DH's words) taking the piss. We're trying to be firm but it is so much easier just to go back in the room and offer more milk...

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