Help advice please!(14 Posts)
i'm pregnant and have a few friends and family members with babies / toddlers. Ever since we announced the impending arrival I have been asked by said friends if I will be breast feeding. When I say that I don't think so the look of horror on their faces is scary. Am I the only person who find breast feeding scary and a little bit gross? I know its perfectly natural but it creeps me out. I'd like to hear from some people who are not as critical as my firends and will tell me their honest opinions on breast feeding ;)
Okay - breast milk is hands down superior to formula milk BUT you have to do what feels best for you. I struggled and struggled with breast-feeding and poor support. In the end it was a relief to bottle feed my son (we got to about 6 weeks). It didn't stop me recognizing that breast milk is the ideal but I also accepted that when the chips are down then formula is pretty good too. He is 6 now, hale, hearty and healthy. Do what YOU want to do and not what other people expect you to do.
Well I am BFing my 2nd, after 11 months BF months for the first, so I am a bit biased here....
When I was first pregnant although I wanted to bf very much, I was a bit creeped out by it tbh. I knew that was what boobs are supposed to be for (rather than getting into clubs for free and getting free drinks, which is what I had been using them for in the past) but I had always thought of them as, well, sex things, not feeding things.
I was worried I would feel weird about it, also that I might not be able to manage it and I didn't want to set myself up to fail. (Not big on failure). So, I just read a bit about it, and a bit about formula, and got some bottles/steriliser and an expresser, also a pack of formala just in case, and then when he was born I just gave it a go. And NEVER looked back! . All the worries about it being, you know, a bit 'odd' - they just weren't there. My whole being had just switched to 'baby' and it was the most normal thing in the world to do. Luckily, he took to it very well and my family/DH were also supportive. I now quite happily whop them out in public, (sod discreet!) and feed whenever/wherever the mood takes him.
I wouldn't worry about it. If you get asked, simply say something like 'I'll have to wait and see' or equally non-committal. Get yourself some information - internet is great, health visitor/midwives should be (but DO vary) and get any equipment you might need.
Then when the time comes, if it feels right, do it. It's worth trying, and you might surprise yourself!
Oh, and congratulations!!
You might be surprised at how strong the urge to BF is once your baby is born, but if you want to FF, and are fully informed about the risks of FF vs the benefits of BF then it's your decision and other people should mind their own business.
People can't help but have an opinion though, so if you want to avoid any conflict in the meantime you can always tell people that you will wait and see what happens.
my honest opinion on breastfeeding is that it is the optimum food for your baby. that the risks of formula are great and that formula is merely an adequate diet for a non-breastfed baby.
in fact i am going to come right aout and say that I think it's selfish to not even attempt to give your baby the absolute best start in life.
if you know that breastmilk is the absolute best thing for your baby why would you not want to give it to them?
i know this sounds extreme, but hey, you did say honest opinions! lol
of couerse ultimately you have to do what you feel is best. but remember that whgat makes you happy doesn't necessarily make your baby happy.
and it might be worth giving breastfeeding a go- you m ight like it after all!
I have 2 DDs - formula fed dd1, who is now a stroppy 7yo, and have recently stopped breastfeeding dd2 who is now 10mths so I can see both points of view (iyswim?) I had the opposite reaction from my family when I said I wanted to breastfeed!!
I wanted to BF dd1 but (and not through lack of trying) was unable to. I persevered and got better support with dd2 and must admit I did find the BFing a lot better.
The health benefits of breastfeeding are well documented on the threads here so if you look at it from a purely practical point of view: there are no bottles/sterilisers etc to buy, you can feed whenever baby needs it without having to boil up water, cool it down etc etc while trying to sooth howling baby and breastmilk is free!!
However, it is your choice. Find as much info as you can about both methods and make an informed decision...
I was with my pregnant SIL at the weekend at a family do and i felt so sorry for her coz whether or not she would bf seemed to be the hot topic of conversation.
Daisy has some good advice about avoiding conflict but if your family have a good sense of humour maybe you could agree that you will spare them the gory details of engorged boobs and pelvic floor muscles if they spare you the bf'ing conversation during pregnancy.
Their your boobs- do what you want to do with them. I bf'd my two for ages but also used formula occasionally when it made life easier. I'm pro-bf but also acknowledge that if it stresses the mum out it will undo all the benefits.
can i add to my first post that I too have seen both sides of the coin. have done formula and breast.
I have been bf for 5 months.I was under hugh pressure by all nhs staff to do it but was wanting to try anyway. It's the hardest thing I have ever done but I stuck with it. I am glad I did but like a birth plan ( how can you possibly have concrete ideas about the unknown) I was prepared to ff if necessary. I am still uncomfortable if my boobs leak or I get milk on my hands....as for expressing !!! That's soooo weird
and yes I did think it was a bit weird to think about when i was pregnant and it did hurt for a couple of weeks- but they had only previously been there for pleasure and its bound to be tricky when you've totally changed your boobs purpose. It did feel totally natural once baby was born - your body's in charge then not your head.
i disagree with it undoing all the benefits if mum is stressed.
no, it isn't good to have a stressed mummy. but if she is stressed because of breastfeeding problems most of them can be sorted out with the right help.
and it has been shown, for example, that women with PND often get worse if they give up breastfeeding because then they feel guilty about it. people often seem to see breastfeeding as the cause of unhappiness or stress, but it turns out that the problems are still there whatever the method of feeding.
anyway, back to my original point- a baby will still get all the benefits of breastmilk and breastfeeding regardless of whether ot not the mother is happy doing it.
you're right about PND - I had PND & PTSD and GP suggested I gave up bf'ing and took AD's but I wanted to carry on bf'ing as a i really needed it to help me keep bonding with ds1- that little magic rush of happy hormones you get every time they latch on is amazing and its what got me through.
bluesmarties; you can BF and take ADs; the two things aren't mutually exclusive and your GP is woefully misinformed if he thinks that's the case. I took ADs when BFing my DD and am taking them again at the minute whilst BFing my DS2
i had heard that but it was 4 years ago so that ship has sailed. Heartily agree that 99% of the time my GPs are completely useless. Think it is a very old fashioned approach they took with me that as I was struggling with PND they tried to get me to cut back on all that was being a mum.... luckily ignored them and did it my way - cue frank sinatra in the background.
sorry OP - we have gone off a bit haven't we.
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