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Bfing my 12mth old - how do I stop?!

(10 Posts)
Umlellala Mon 27-Jul-09 16:24:37

Have been happily bfing ds and he is now just over a year. I have now come to the end of the line with it and want to stop. But how?

He can happily go the day without boob at my mum's or if I am not there - but wants it as soon as he sees me (can distract but only after lots of mauling and climbing, I literally have to push him away). So I could try to cut down to mornings and bedtime - but at the moment he has one or two bf at night and really feeds to sleep (is easy as - we are co-sleeping - lovely!)

So do I cut-down or go cold turkey? Any tips/suggestions/comments?

(sorry if message isn't very well-expressed. Am suffering with flu-like stuff at the moment - makes bf hard too sad)

Umlellala Mon 27-Jul-09 18:24:48

anyone? He has just screamed at me for ten minutes while simultaneously writhing on my boob and headbutting me (thankfully, now asleep). So prob not the best time to stop, but why I have had enough.

chandellina Mon 27-Jul-09 21:50:51

i went from 4-5 feeds/day to just morning and night around 10 months. I just went cold turkey on those day feeds and never got any engorgement or anything.

My son is also 12 months now, and I'm happy to keep up the morning and night feeds for now so I can't give any advice on cutting out entirely. i've found both the remaining feeds are pretty quick though, particularly at night when he has trouble staying awake more than 5 minutes.

on the rare night i'm out, he is happy to take a bottle from daddy or auntie, so i guess i'm lucky.

I cut back because I was going back to work, but even on the days I'm with him all day, he doesn't maul me for more. (but he did when there were still day feeds on the menu.)

good luck!

twinsplus3 Mon 27-Jul-09 22:09:02

I stoped bf @ 13 mths as TTC, although then mc and didnt succsesfuly concive until DS 22mths and I really missed bf but thats another story. DS was on 3 feeds a day @ 12mths so cut a feed a week allso switched my routines round so started bf before the bed time story so he got used to bf, story, cuddle, bed this made cutting night time feed easyer as he wasnt feeding to sleep. I wore harder acsses cloths in the day, gave snacks @ usual day feed times and didnt sit in our nursing spots, corner of sofa etc hope some of this helps and good luck!

Umlellala Tue 28-Jul-09 20:58:33

Cheers, these are really helpful. Ds won't take a bottle, will drink a cup but not really at night. Have given a bit of water at night occasionally. BUT think he is ill at moment (why do they always get ill at the point you are just about to Start the New Plan?!) but my plan is

week 1
just breastfeeding bedtime and night (and 5am)
also continuing not to bfeed in evening, and
try and get him to go to sleep not on breast.
also continue with stories and cup of milk at bedtime to ease transition (as twins suggests)

week 2
? not feeding to sleep? trying to lose night-time feeds but keep 5am one???

week 3
see how above goes - cup of milk at 5am?

week 4
no more boob!

too optimistic??!!

iwantitnow Tue 28-Jul-09 22:21:05

Not feed to sleep would be the first thing I would tackle along with no night feeds. That will probably take a while, send DH for night feeds and a consistent bedtime routine, I found singing after the BF worked so he settles himself. Not sure how this would work with co-sleeping though.

When only on day feeds drop one every week or two offers snacks instead. I admit to using chocolate buttons but DD nearly 22 months at the time. Tackle the easier feeds first.

Think you may be optimistic about timings if you do want to do it quickly then think cold turkey but there will be alot of screaming...

Essie3 Tue 28-Jul-09 22:29:54

Thanks everyone - helping me too!

My only bit of help would be to second what iwantitnow said about night feeds - I sent my DH in to settle DS and after three nights he was used to it (DS, that is!) and that was the end of night feeds.

sweetkitty Tue 28-Jul-09 22:33:35

Same here DD3 is the same age as your DS and we dropped nightfeeds 3 weeks ago, she coslept with us and would wake and feed up to 6 times in the night, she went into her own room and DH got up to comfort her, first night she had a bit of a moan but he never left her just rubbed her back and she fell back asleep, within about 3 nights she was sleeping through, at naptime now she goes up into her cot awake and goes to sleep fine. We are down to 2 BFs a day now morning and night.

Umlellala Wed 29-Jul-09 08:52:30

Lovely! Yes, he does go to sleep next to me without boob sometimes already, and I do think that is key. He only usually wakes once or twice a night next to me, so Sweetkitty that is reassuring. Ds will do that moaning but going back to sleep too. Dh is on summer hols so might be up for helping wean him (he already usually has to go in to our 3yo but that's another story hmm).

I don;t really have a schedule for day feeds, sometimes he wants it all the time, sometimes (if out) he doesn't think about it at all.

ANYWAY ds had a shocking temperature last night (and so does dd) so ended up bfing every hour last night. Think he has the virus thing (swine?!) I had. So clearly now is not the time to begin a new routine, but has firm my resolve that I want to stop bf as I want to be able to comfort him without him needing to be sucking me.

mookickkick Wed 29-Jul-09 11:11:49

Hi, just wanted to add my two cents. I officially stopped bfing on Monday after 12.5 months. I was down to mornings and evenings (since 9 months). Saturday I switched to a bottle in the morning (dd gets bottles at nursery, now going to cup) and intended to bf in the evening for another week or so. Well, Monday evening I settled into my chair and was bitten extremely hard! She'd been biting gently at the end of a feed, but this was even before we began. I'd had enough. So I set her down in her cot and she settled well. Last night she took about 100 ml of warm milk from a cup before bed. Doesn't seem to miss bf at all (sadly for me!) and I don't feel engorged or anything. A bit heavy but no discomfort. Hope it stays that way!

So good luck all of you trying to quit! It was much easier than I thought. Hope your ds recovers quickly Umlellala

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