DD is 7 days old. Initial breastfeeding was good if painful. Morphine was used in labour and (I blame DP's genes) she is very, very laid back such that demand feeding would mean left to her own devices, she only fed every 6/7 hours which wasn't enough. Advised by midwife & breastfeeding counsellor to wake to feed every 3 hours which we tried, but she refused to latch on leading to both me and her getting increasingly distressed. We'd try for say an hour and then she'd end up with formula in an effort just to get something inside her.
Anyway to cut a long story short, my milk is in, the worst of the engorgement has passed, I'm now pumping - (I'm averaging around 60ml with a 30 minute pump, 15 minutes each side)and we're now feeding her 3 hourly with EBM via bottle and we're got plenty of wet/dirty nappies, and some weight gain and all around a very contented, lovely baby.
Sadly we can't say the same for Mummy because DD refuses entirely to entertain the breast and I feel like an utter shit because I've managed to create a whole nipple confusion thing now which didn't exist before. It's soul destroying. I'm trying to console myslef that she is at least getting breastmilk albeit by an unorthodox method, but how the heck can I re-introduce her love-affair with the breast? I offer at every other feed, after a bit of expressing so the breast is soft and pliable and the nipple is erect and milky, and I offer just for a few minutes, but the poor wee thing seems to be terrified of me and my boobs now and my confidence is at rock bottom. She'll maybe lap a bit at the nipple but then just stares up at me with such a petrified little face and starts to whimper that it breaks my heart. I've tried various positions to no avail.
Shall this too pass? I don't know what to do - breastfeeding counsellor is back on Wednesday and on Thursday we can go to the local drop-in, so help is coming but it seems a long way away and I don't know that time is on our side here.
And I feel so utterly inadequate DP is a great support, but I feel as though my daughter is frightened of me.
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Infant feeding
I'm in the seventh circle of breastfeeding hell......
58 replies
JetLi · 20/07/2009 00:21
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