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Trying to support someone with BF...

(6 Posts)
moaningminnie2020 Thu 16-Jul-09 08:03:03

and frankly she is a PITA!
How do you carry on supporting someone who just ignores everything you say? I am not a BFC or anything, just a BF mum with a healthcare background. My sis is texting me with bizarre queries and we have discussed various concerns over the phone, at length, but its like hitting my head against a brick wall.

EG - current concern, her 16wo has stopped sleeping through like he was previously, and now waking x 2 each night for feeds, takes a while to get him back to sleep. And is worried he has only gained 1 oz in the last week.

I talked to her about the waking - ie normal and healthy and may be for the forseable and encouraged her to evaluate what is bothering her - ie is it the feeding? Is she too shattered? Is it the struggle to get him back to sleep. The struggle to get him back to sleep is the issue so I suggested she tries to help him learn how to get to sleep without being rocked by working on the daytimes first etc

And the weight - We talked about no need to weigh every week, overall is gaining about 3oz a week atm, he is healthy and growing, plenty of wet/dirty nappies and so on.Fine. So 20 mins later she says she wants to top him up with formula. I asked why, she said well it might help him sleep through, and help with the "weight issue".

GGGGRRR I just reiterated the above and added if she hated the BF (She has never seemed very comfortable with it)she had done well to get this far but PLEASE ring the NCT or ABM line for further support.

I have given her a copy of bestfeeding, a medela pump, observed her latch in the early days when she was struggling, and a listening ear, not sure where to go from here?

FlamingoOfTheShineyCult Thu 16-Jul-09 08:04:14

Keep listening, don't advise smile

moaningminnie2020 Thu 16-Jul-09 08:09:16

I am tryingsmile...I really try to just give her information but it's really hard!! Esp when she has been advised by the HV to try controlled crying as he will 'get in the habit' of waking for feeds in the nightshock

Can I listen, not advise, but still say 'you've been told a loads of BOLLOCKS I'm afraid???

FlamingoOfTheShineyCult Thu 16-Jul-09 08:13:51

If she's going to ignore you, then what's the point? She maybe just wants someone to let off steam to and not yet more conflicting information.

Maybe say something like 'it sounds like you don't like what you've heard from your HV but you don't seem to like what you're hearing from me either. I am wondering how you feel I can support you best?'.

moaningminnie2020 Thu 16-Jul-09 08:29:13

MMM that would be better than 'Oh FFS just do what you like and piss off' She is my sister, after all.grin Its just frustrating, she goes to a baby cafe, but asks me everything instead! I keep suggesting she has a look at kellymom and jack newmans website as well...

tiktok Thu 16-Jul-09 09:30:53

minnie, she is probably asking loads and loads of people the same Qs as well as reading books and internet, and she is hoping the 'right' answer comes in neon lights with buzzers and bells...

Flamingo's response is a good one, though you will need to say it kindly - add you want to help her and mean it

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