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already sad at thought of giving up bf, any wise mums with older kids?

(11 Posts)
Gemzooks Tue 14-Jul-09 22:04:28

bf DS till he was 1.
now bf DD, 3.5 months. I know this is the hormones talking, but it is so precious and lovely feeding her and I hate to think of the gradual growing away as she goes onto expressed milk, then weaning etc. of course I know they have to and then they grow away from you altogether in the end, but it's so sad! has anyone got older kids and have any nice things to tell yourself to feel better about this? (I don't want to have a 3rd one just to have that magic early time back again)...

LightShinesInTheDarkness Wed 15-Jul-09 16:31:51

I once read an interview with Vanessa Feltz,who answered the question 'when and where were you happiest' with 'breastfeeding my children'. Not that I am a great Vanessa Feltz fan or anything, but it was lovely to see someone acknowledge what a precious, special time breast-feeding is.

But you know, as the mum of older children, I can promise you that there are many, many, many special, precious and utterly delightful moments ahead of you with your children. There is no need to mourn the breastfeeding phase, as it will help to form that unbreakable bond with your kids.

And you never lose them. Its a bit like a tide, they will ebb and flow towards and away from you according to the time of their life, but will always be drawn back to the safety of the cove.

Just enjoy. And have you read Kahlil Gibran on Children? That helps.

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad Wed 15-Jul-09 17:03:15

Why do you need to go onto EBM? Are you going back to work?

Have you thought about just letting your dd self wean if you're sad about the thought of stopping bf-ing? Then you know it's absolutely her choice and that stage in her life is over. smile

OmicronPersei8 Wed 15-Jul-09 17:08:45

Lightshines, your post was so lovely it brought little tear to my eye. I'm bfing DS (15months) and I know he'll porobably be my last, so it's reassuring to read what you've written.

Gemzook, My DD is 3 and she tells me she loves me all the time, she hugs me and it is just as lovely as breastfeeding (which of course I get to compare it to everyday!). Seeing her grow and develop in the person she will be is also deeply fulfilling.

madameDefarge Wed 15-Jul-09 17:19:36

When I first thought about giving up bf my ds, I nearly had a nervous breakdown. So I left it til over a year.

I think I was scared of losing that closeness, almost like he didn't need me anymore.

Now he is 8. And I can honestly say I am amazed at how my love for him has grown every day of his life..something I could never had imagined way back then. And his need for me was never dependent on bf. Knowing I can fulfill his emotional needs and am (for the moment) the base of his emotional well being completely overshadows the bf bit.

It justs gets bigger and better.

Gemzooks Thu 16-Jul-09 06:40:02

aaah, thanks so much! you're right, I will enjoy it and just let it pass... DS bf till 1, he is now 2.9, I suppose it's because it's been hard keeping the closeness with him since she was born, so I have that fear of once they're off the breast, the closeness is gone.. but will save these responses and read them again! Yes, am going back to work 1 Oct when she will be 6 months so will start pumping..

RoseOfTheOrient Thu 16-Jul-09 06:54:19

AFAIK, you can still carry on breastfeeding her when you start work - in the morning before you go,and when you get back in the evening. She will love re-connecting (literally grin) to you after you have both been apart for the day...

FlamingoOfTheShineyCult Thu 16-Jul-09 08:03:09

You don't have to stop when she's 1! Why not take the limit off and just say to yourself 'I'll stop when DD and I are ready'? smile

Gemzooks Thu 16-Jul-09 15:10:45

yes, will carry on feeding from breast as much as poss, basically the am and pm feed plus late feed with expressed for the 2 middle ones. hadn't thought of continuing beyond 1, I suppose it's nice to be able to go away for the night etc as I have to travel a bit with work, with DS it just gradually scaled down and he was eating so much other stuff like yoghurt and cheese. Yes, maybe I'll just wait and see how long she wants to carry on for.. anyway the poor little mite isn't even 4 months yet!

Grendle Thu 16-Jul-09 19:16:54

Breastfeeding a child over 2 months is a bit different to a baby -you can still go away overnight sometimes smile.

Grendle Thu 16-Jul-09 19:17:20

That should say 12 not 2 blush

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