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the end

(14 Posts)
starlover Thu 19-May-05 14:18:58

well, i just want to say a huge thank you to all the people who have helped me out with the b/f business over the last few weeks/months.

decided this morning to give it up. the expressing is just becoming a chore to me and really getting me down.
DS did feed from me this morning, but not that effectively... and didn't seem overly impressed.

Feel a bit guilty, but more than that I feel sad that it didn't work out like I wanted it to. I keep seeing mums breastfeeding their babies and wish that it was me...
Haven't expressed today though and it does feel such a relief not to have to... but I do feel scared that i will change my mind and not be able to go back!

mears Thu 19-May-05 14:31:31

I haven't been around for a few days. Why are you expressing Starlover?

aloha Thu 19-May-05 14:33:59

I think you should do what makes you happiest right now. You've had a real struggle and it has been most impressive how you have carried on.
All I would say is that it might help emotionally (and hey, I don't know you so it might well not help a bit so it is obviously up to you) to let him feed from you if he wants while you are using formula. That way you don't have to finish quite so abruptly. I think you have done quite enough expressing as it is clearly not what you wanted to do anyway.
And one tiny thing...don't assume that a baby's feed isn't 'effective' - they can get very efficient. I don't know if you don't want to hear that, so ignore it if you prefer.
I could never have done all that expressing. I don't love it either.
If you want to taper off more slowly you could continue to offer a breastfeed first thing in the morning when he is hungriest or you might just think that is pointless. Up to you! I hope I don't sound pushy.
I'm sure you and your lovely boy with go from strength to strength!

throckenholt Thu 19-May-05 14:36:20

don't suddenly stop - you are likely to get problems if you do - cut down gradually of a week or so.

You could try and mix feed - breast feed sometimes (but fairly regularly), and formula feed the others.

Am I right in thinking you have struggled with thrush etc ? Then don't feel guilty - you have tried. And expressing is a very mental thing - if you are not in the right frame of mind for it then you are unlikely to get much which makes you feel worse leading to a downward spiral.

mears Thu 19-May-05 14:41:51

I meant to say why are you still needing to express starlover.

starlover Thu 19-May-05 14:53:29

mears.. I had really bad thrush and couldn't feed him so started mixed feeding to give the boobs a chance to heal. Was expressing, but I don't think my pump was very good as my supply dropped rapidly!
Hired a hospital pump but my supply just isn't going up at all. Today was the first time he has had a "proper" feed from me (before he just refused boob point blank).

I don't know... i just didn't enjoy it. It hurt a little... probably bad positioning. He kept coming off and on, and didn't seem that interested in it. ALso wanted to look around all the time like he can with the bottle!

I just am fed up of expressing. I might carry on with the morning feed. Could possibly do an evening one too.... but I'm not sure I can get him to latch on correctly. He gets cross SO quickly, and once he is wound up then he just refuses to feed at all. But if I don't get him positioned right then I'm back to square one!

throckenholt Thu 19-May-05 14:59:34

he is at the age when they start getting distracted when feeding anyway - both with bottle and breast - so if you are going to try and breastfeed sometimes do it a calm boring place where the only thing for him to be interested in is feeding !

You could just express first thing in the morning if you liked - when you are most likely to get the most.

starlover Thu 19-May-05 15:01:24

i feel like, if i give up then i just won't have to worry about it any more.
but then i know I will probably feel sad, and regret it.... but then so do a lot of people who give up b/f.

think i will stick with the morning feed. now I have been bottle feeding though I am paranoid that he isn't having enough from boob! i guess he;ll let me klnow soon enough though!

throckenholt Thu 19-May-05 15:04:40

just try and relax - if you feed him once a day - look on that as a bonus - he will be getting some benefit in terms of immunity, and if he is hungry then he will fill up on the other feeds during the day. Trust him to tell you if he is hungry.

And don't feel sad or guilty - you have tried your best in difficult circumstances. A happy mummy is just as important as what the baby gets fed.

starlover Thu 19-May-05 15:34:42

yeah... i think i will do that.
just felt so pressured all the time while I was expressing. feel like I am able to relax a bit more now... and also have more time to spend with DS!!!

if i carry on feeding him in the mornings do you think i could gradually increase my supply again? if i wanted to

mears Thu 19-May-05 15:48:43

starlover - you have done so well to still be giving breastmilk at 3 months. I am sure if I was you the expressing would be doing my head in!! I did it a lot but only because I was donating milk and did it whenever it suited me, not as a means to increase my supply.

Have you ever just offered breastfeeds every 3 hours with top-ups after, without worrying about what to do?

To me the advantage of that would be that you would be able to get into some routine. If he fed well this mornng, he will do it again. You could then reduce the amount given in the top-ups gradually, by for example an ounce a day as his feeding improves.

It would do no harm to try Domperidone at this stage. You can buy it over the counter or get it on prescription. The other name for it is Motilium and it is for gastric bloatedness. You take 1 tablet (10mg), 3 times a day for 10 days.

We use it at our unit for mums whose supply is dwindling who have preterm babies in special care. It's side effect is to increase prolactin levels which, in turn increases milk supply.

You may well find that he has a feed that he enjoys, say first thing in the morning. Do not fight with him with the ones he is not doing well at. You might find that having a few enjoyable breastfeeds a day is better than fighting for the majority of them. He may well then start to look for more breastfeeds if they are not associated with angst.
Definately try t have feeds where distractions are minimal. He is getting to that age where they like to look aroung and take the nipple with them!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Go with your heart.

starlover Thu 19-May-05 16:34:56

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

chipmonkey Thu 19-May-05 18:08:32

Good luck, starlover, whatever you decide to do, rest assured that you've done very, very well so far. You have bf for a lot longer than most people.

aloha Thu 19-May-05 23:07:10

I think I have some domeridone you can have gratis if you CAT me. I got it in a loony spirit of being prepared for anything pre-birth and took one tablet I think before realising I didn't need it! It's yours if you want it.

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