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How do I move on from my bad experience.

(9 Posts)
tryingtobemarypoppins Sun 05-Jul-09 19:02:07

Hello ladies

I BF my DS now 18months for 5 months. Everyday I cried with pain, suffered PND, cracked nipples, 3 episodes of mastitis, a cyst and 10 days of pumping whilst my DS was in hospital being tude feed after an infection. We had a horribe trip to A&E at 1 week old as he throw up blood, from me......he was dyhydrated and we had to stay over night. So to put it mildly it was hellish!

I kept feeding as I felt under pressure to do it, my mum was very very straight with me that she would be very disappointed etc if I stopped.

In the end I started soilds slightly early and then switched to formualar towards the end of 5 months.

I am now pregnant again and have all the worries about having a 2 year old and a newborn with this huge fear hanging over my head about feeding.

I went to LOADS of feeding classes last time, my this time I won't have the time as I will have my DS too.

HELP!! I want to enjoy things this time.

ipiratethief Sun 05-Jul-09 19:12:15

To move on I do feel you should give yourslef a HUGE pat on the back and truly recognise what you put yourself through the first time round.

You tried your best, and noone could ask anymore of you. You didn't fail, you did it, for 5 months!!!

Whatever works best for you, next time is best.

nickytwotimes Sun 05-Jul-09 19:13:49

Aw, trying, that does sound awful.
My experience was similar, but I gave up after a few weeks as I couldn't hack it, so you are a strong lady! Rotten to be under pressure form outside too.
I hope that if I have another child it will go better. From friends' experiences, that certainly seems to be the case. Are there bf counsellors in your area who wil come to your home after the birht and help with latching, etc, issues? I know there are in some areas.

nickytwotimes Sun 05-Jul-09 19:15:00

Oh and to second what pirate said, you did a fantastic job to do that well first time, especialy under the circumstances.

HumphreyCobbler Sun 05-Jul-09 19:15:39

good god, your mother said she would be disappointed in you? shocksad

You did incredibly well to bf to five months under those circumstances. That is successful bfeeding.

It was a bit like that for me the first time I tried bfeeding. It might reassure you to know that with my second baby it was much more straightforward, with no pain at all.

MamaHobgoblin Sun 05-Jul-09 19:17:03

Contact the NCT and see if there are any qualified BF counsellors in your area. They might be able to talk to you about your worries before you have your second baby and maybe put your fears to rest? And of course they can offer advice and support once you've started breastfeeding again.

Don't lose sight of the fact that every baby is different. You may find that it's an entirely different feeding experience. Good luck!

tryingtobemarypoppins Sun 05-Jul-09 19:21:49

Thankyou so much. I spoke to counsellors on the phone a lot last time but I think I really needed someone sitiing with me for a few hours! Midwives had so little time.

I really hope that things will be different this time!

nickytwotimes Sun 05-Jul-09 19:24:03

Yes, I also think that what most women need is someone who knows what they are doing actually stiing with them for hours, rather than being nagged at by mws who pop in for 10 mins when the baby is inevitably asleep!

rek21 Sun 05-Jul-09 19:42:10

Oh my goodness, you are a hero! I had a very similar experience first time round but gave up after *4 weeks*!

Dd2 is 2 months old today and completely breast fed despite being prem and fed via tube/iv for the first 2 weeks. I haven't had any soreness/ cracked nipples/ mastitis this time round. Tbh I think having no expectations of success this time has helped massively ( because I haven't put any pressure on myself) and also knowing what went wrong 1st time round (poor latch and dd1 using me as a dummy meant boobs never healed). I have made sure the latch is right every single time which is tedious and time consuming but she latches brilliantly now.

Don't let people (even your mum, if possible) put pressure on you, feeding however it's done is part of a really complex relationship between mother and baby which other people shouldn't interfere with (in my opinion). I don't regret ff dd1 in the slightest because it improved our relationship no end and she is a happy healthy sparky little girl. I'm happy bf dd2 because it works for us at the moment, but if circs change my method of feeding might change too. Hth.

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