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If you let your baby self-wean, when did it happen?

(12 Posts)
tinierclanger Fri 03-Jul-09 22:24:14

DS is 11 months now and I thought I'd stop when he was 12 months, but as it draws nearer I don't think I want to, unless HE wants to. But I also don't want to carry on forever really. He still feeds at night as well and I keep wondering if I started giving him a bottle or cup instead at night, would he sleep better.

But really I sort of feel I'd like him to initiate it himself - he pretty much did this with daytime feeds so it would be nice if he did the same with the rest. Then again, I don't want to be still feeding when he's 2! (Nothing against the idea for other people, but I don't fancy it for myself).

Just wondering really what other people's experiences have been. Sorry for rambling...

Alishanty Fri 03-Jul-09 22:34:47

Haven't had any personal experience as I stopped feeding ds at 12 mths and will do the same with dd. But I know someone who has let 4 dcs self-wean and they all did it between the ages of 2 and 4. This was one reason why I decided to stop feeding mine, felt a bit bad and unnatural about doing it and have nothing against people who want to carry on for longer but I just couldn't see myself continuing for that long and was worried that once they get older it will be harder to stop.

ImOverHere Fri 03-Jul-09 22:35:13

Could be that he's learnt to feed to sleep, hence him feeding at night. Does he settle himself or do you need to feed him to get him to sleep?

Grendle Fri 03-Jul-09 22:39:01

Well, personally by that stage I decided to work on the "if we're happy today then we'll keep doing the same and see how it goes" principle and stopped planning anything about stopping or trying to manage ds's feeding. I also applied the "and if we find we're not happy tomorrow then we'll change something then" principle. It worked fine. Mostly ds took the lead and I followed, but a few times I initiated a change, e.g. night weaning him when I was pregnant with dd.

Keeping going beyond 12 months doesn't mean keeping going forever. If you find one day you feel differently, then you can do something about it then. You don't need to plan it now smile.

Very few people plan to feed a 2 year old, but some of us do find that it happens to us, and that we suddenly find somehow we got there and it still feels just as normal as feeding a 12 month old did, even though perhaps we never imagined that it could. People who don't feel that way tend to change something before that point. If things feel fine for you right now then why change anything?

To answer your question, ds weaned (mostly his lead, but ultimately we made a deal) at 3 years 10 months. It was the right time for both of us to stop.

Feenie Fri 03-Jul-09 22:53:56

The day he was 3 - we talked about it. He asked the next night, accepted the explanation of or agreement, then was happy and never asked again. Completely painless. smile

tinierclanger Sat 04-Jul-09 18:41:46

Thanks all. No, he doesn't feed to sleep any more, but the milk does help him resettle - he always goes down awake though.

Interesting to know babies/children choose to wait so long... I'll think about this more!

Meanbeansmum Sun 05-Jul-09 14:51:32

DS1 self weaned at 9 months. I was devastated but it was my fault for introducing a bottle at 6 months, he didn't see me as a food source anymore.

DS2 didn't self wean. By 2 years he was only having morning, night and middle of the nightfeeds but I made the decision to stop to conceive another baby (Which ~I did within 2 months).

DD is 17 months and still going strong. I'd like to ttc again but I still would like her to breastfeed until 2, unless she self weans before so we are seeing what happens. She only feeds once in the day (before her nap) and in the evening and at 7am.

If ds2 had been allowed I'm sure he'd never have self weaned. I had some expressed milk on the side when dd was born and turned to see ds2 (age 3 just at the time) drinking it and saying mmmmm lishous milk, lol. He'd have gone on bfing forever lol!

I'd say continue as long as you and your child are both happy too.

LeonieSoSleepy Sun 05-Jul-09 15:20:19

Message withdrawn

RhinestoneCowgirl Sun 05-Jul-09 15:26:16

With DS I don't think it was true self-weaning, as there were other factors, and I did gently encourage him to stop. He stopped just before his second birthday, when I was 4 months pg. My supply had really dropped and he was having to work quite hard to get any milk out. He was just having a morning feed in bed by this stage and stopping was not traumatic for either of us.

At about 18 months he started having milk in a cup (we initiated this) and he accepted this no probs. DH did bedtimes for first couple of nights, but then he would accept it from me.

When DD was born he did ask to try mama milk again, but had lost the ability to latch and just kind of blew on my nipple and giggled.

FWIW I didn't see myself as the sort of person who bf's a toddler, but it just turned out that way. I just took it one day at a time and will do again with DD (who is now 6 months).

llareggub Sun 05-Jul-09 15:57:28

DS was 2 years and 7 months, and coincided with the birth of DS2. For about 4 weeks I fed both boys. I'll do the same with DS2 I think.

mybabywakesupsinging Tue 07-Jul-09 23:54:21

ds1 12 months.
ds2 2 years 3 months still has "mummy milk" at some point in the evening - not always just before bed.
DH thinks, apparently, that age 2 is "OK" but that 3 would be "weird" - so I suspect ds2's time is numbered...

mummygirl Fri 10-Jul-09 13:14:21

According to WHO most children self-wean between the ages of 3 and 4 (although some do it earlier or later) and once they do they do NOT need any other kind of milk

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