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Which book would you recommend to a breastfeeding novice or someone who has 'failed' before.

(27 Posts)
HeinzSight Sun 21-Jun-09 21:05:35

Firstly, apologies for using the word 'failed' in the title, it's just that I always felt like I had failed sad.

I'm expecting No.4 in August and have never managed to successfully breast feed. I have sought lots of advise on here to get myself prepared (again!).

Am looking for an inspiring book to encourage me to keep it up and also give me the confidence to persevere.

moondog Sun 21-Jun-09 21:08:31

Oh, bless you Heinz.
You haven't failed, it just didn't work out.
Big difference!

What are you after, a practical guide or summat to keep up your resolve at sticky moments.

What went awry when you tried before.

fishie Sun 21-Jun-09 21:11:59

i've got a book upstairs somewhere, i didn't find it half as good as mn and a counsellor visiting me. all it did was make me understand what was wrong, not how to fix it.

kellymom will give you all the reading you need and more...

MrsMotMot Sun 21-Jun-09 21:13:43

As well as MN to help you I'd say get ahold of details of your nearest breastfeeding counseller and support group. BFC and lactation consultants know a lot more than midwives and HVs. It might be an idea to have a chat with someone like your mw or a bfc about your past 3 experiences, what happened, etc? They are bound to impact you- as demonstrated by your use of 'failed' in your title. sad

As for a book, try your library before you spend any cash. But one I read recently that was practical, funny, honest and had great illustrations was The Food of Love. Best of luck! smile

oodlesofpoodles Sun 21-Jun-09 21:15:10

this dvd was useful for me. I am feeding my 3rd successfully and I really struggled with the first 2.

HeinzSight Sun 21-Jun-09 21:16:24

Thank you smile blush

Bit of both really.

Gosh, where do I start! With DD (my 3rd) my PND was at its worst and I was unfortunately given the wrong information about antidepressants and bf. SO I was expressing straight into the sink and flushing away in a vain effort to keep up supply. It didn't work at all.

I know this is REALLY stupid, but I feel embarrassed blush. DH is totally supportive, I'm not embarrassed around him, it's just when visitors knock, I know with DD on a couple of occasions I was about to latch her on when someone knocked, so I would get out a bottle.

I need something to give me more conviction and confidence etc.

Kitsilano Sun 21-Jun-09 21:17:28

GREAT book.

www.amazon.co.uk/What-Expect-When-Youre-Breastfeeding/dp/0091906962/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1 245615374&sr=8-1

Best of luck

Pannacotta Sun 21-Jun-09 21:17:48

I second kellymom and also Mumsnet for good advice.
I posted on here in the early days of feeding both DSs and got lots of good advice.
The Jack Newman website is good too though I didnt use it myself.

HeinzSight Sun 21-Jun-09 21:23:02

Thanks for teh recommendations.

I actually have a couple of good friends, one of which is heavily involved in breast feeding support groups. I have expressed my concerns to her, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to help me.

AbricotsSecs Sun 21-Jun-09 21:23:08

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AbricotsSecs Sun 21-Jun-09 21:24:26

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Schoolgirl Sun 21-Jun-09 21:27:46

Oh poor you sad FWIW I "failed" miserably with DD - only managed to bf until 6 wks ish and that was mixed feeding with expressed bm. I'm six mths in with DS and (for the most part) he's exclusively bf apart from in the early days when he had jaundiced and a couple of weeks here and there when I had to go back to work for short periods.

I don't think you need a book tbh - I don't have one. Just MN and a good mate on the end of a phone if you have a question, need to whinge or even have a good cry if it's all going to sh*t and you feel like giving up!

Good luck - I'm sure you'll be fab whatever happens smile

moondog Sun 21-Jun-09 21:30:35

Heinz, if you feel a bit uncomfortable with peopel around, just go elsewhere and say 'I'm off to feed the baby'.They'll understand.
Believe me, it wears off very qquickly.

PacificDogwood Sun 21-Jun-09 21:31:15

Oh, Heinz, you sound so sad about this, I hope some of what is said here will at least help a bit.

BTW, I am rubbish at BFing, but got better with practice (managed 13 months with DS3 and really only stopped because he was no longer interested which was at that point fine by me wink).

Yes, MN for moral support and practical advice and Kellymom for evidence based advice.
Also: Google "How breastfeeding works", great site.
And, my hero, Dr Jack Newman whose site has videos of babies feeding, good/bad latch, what does it look like when a baby is actually swallowing etc etc. He is good an the whole evidence based stuff as well (I love his bit about myths of BFing and something about "guilt" which I cannot find at the mo'.
Also, v v important, get RL support. Find out now what BFing support your hospital offers, BF support group, HVs, LLL, NCT.
Also, crucially, be positive yourself: you are not going to try to BF this one, you are going to BF successful. A LLL leader said to me: "Successful BFing is 10% technique and 90% confidence".

AND: if things do not go to plan, as they sometime don't, do not beat yourself up. We all try to do the best for our babies, and depending on the situation that may not be what we set out to do, if that makes any sense?
Reasons to be proud

Hope it all goes well.smile

NumptyMum Sun 21-Jun-09 21:32:20

I'd REALLY recommend going along to a support group, particularly if there's someone trained/sensitive that can help with the latch - though perhaps with other DCs that may not be an option. BF is a two way thing - some babies seem to struggle with latch too; I was lucky with DS as he always had it bang on from day one, but I needed support as I found it pretty painful for a while, but am bloody minded (and a cheapskate) and in the end not only was it a really nice, it was also the easiest option cos if DS was hungry, I had food on me ready to go!

You might feel more comfortable if you have good tops to wear - some 'nursing tops' can actually leave you feeling pretty exposed (the H&M ones I had were 'boob out from the top' ones); I found the best option was to wear strappy vest layered with another top over, then you lift one and drop the other IYSWIM and there's really not much showing at all. With visitors, sometimes (eg with my Dad, whom I didn't want to feel embarrased) I'd go out of the room to feed, & they were always fine with this. HTH and good luck this time around, just see what you can manage to do.

PacificDogwood Sun 21-Jun-09 21:33:43

Ha, found the "guilt" thing. More related to FFing, I suppose, but it does illustrate how we all find ways to feel bad about ourselves...

Schoolgirl Sun 21-Jun-09 21:35:30

Oh yes defo second Moondog on the telling people that you need to feed. For about the first month I had my (rather enormous) norks out almost constantly so when we had visitors I'd get them to look away while I latched on and then stick a muslin over him and carry on chatting.

Of course that's more difficult now that he's -a- -nosy- -bugger- easily distractible grin but I'm less self conscious about the whole thing by now!

Schoolgirl Sun 21-Jun-09 21:36:04

oops strike out didn't work blush - you know what I mean!

UnderWrapsForNow Sun 21-Jun-09 22:27:01

I haven't read the Clare Byam-Cook book, but some of the stuff I haven't read about her breastfeeding advice isn't good, so perhaps that isn't the best book to be reading.

I didn't read any books - just MN smile

moondog Sun 21-Jun-09 22:34:30

Clare Byam-Cook has come out with some absolute crap.
Stuff like 'to see how much you are producing, express'.

hmm hmm

Mamulik Sun 21-Jun-09 22:58:36

my had problems with my DD1, but it was my midwife on the home visit who showed me how to do it! so ask midwife for advise.

moondog Sun 21-Jun-09 23:01:15

Hmm,,not alwys the best option.Many mws know next to nothing about breastfeeding, as it does not feature largely in their training, which is of course madness.

You are best of going to a breastfeeding counsellor,the main organisations being listed on our very own Hunkermunker's terrifically informative website.

Schoolgirl Sun 21-Jun-09 23:21:38

Yes - my mw was shyte. It was a lovely but ancient nursery nurse at the hospital who helped me with DS when I was struggling. She convinced me to use "rugby hold" rather than the more conventional hold and it was much more comfortable with my enormous bosoms! I still use that hold now and I thank my lucky stars every day that she was there for the few days I was in hospital.

You need to ask for help and then ask again ime. You never know when you're going to meet the person who can help you turn it around.

elkiedee Sun 21-Jun-09 23:41:59

I failed with ds1, and came very close to giving up with ds2 but was rescued by two breastfeeding counsellors, one hospital employee and one hospital volunteer. The employee worked a lot with me but it was the volunteer who was with me the day I made the first real breakthrough. I was made to give top ups but I phased them out and have exclusively breastfed from between 5-6 weeks - he's now nearly 20 weeks old.

elkiedee Sun 21-Jun-09 23:46:28

What I was going to say was again, don't worry about books, just keep asking for help, try and find a local group, kellymom is a good website and there are people here who can offer you practical advice like tiktok and emotional support (various among us).

Good luck.

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