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just need to put my mind at rest- please advise

(17 Posts)
booyhoo Sun 21-Jun-09 15:23:35

my LO is 4 weeks old on wed.

this is a general idea of how he is feeding (breastfed)

every 2/3 hours daytime
usually has a stage around late morning or lunchtime where he feeds more often about every 90 minutes and doesnt settle for a sleep at this time ie; awake time.
has last feed at around 11pm and sleeps soundly untill around 5am. then its every 2/3 hours again after that.

he is changed at every feed and these are always wet and almost always dirty nappies.

now, my mum, who is a very experienced midwife says he's feeding too often and perhaps i havent enough milk and should maybe consider formula feeding. to which i respond that if that is the case then the only way to increase my milk supply is to continue feeding when he requires/demands it.

i am quite confident that his routine is normal for his age and hadnt considered it a problem until this was mentioned but the reason i am asking is because it was my mother who encouraged ff with ds1 at 5 weeks for the same reasons and although i have never told her so, i am still annoyed with her for doing so (i was younger and not so well educated re breastfeeding then)i understand now about growth spurts and bf feeding patterns being typically more emading than ff patterns. so i do hold a grudge on that respect and dont want to cut off my nose to spite my face. ie she could be right (although i doubt it) but im letting the past cloud my judgement.

so please could someone tell me wether they consider the routine i have described as normal' for this age.

burningupinspeed Sun 21-Jun-09 15:25:24

No, that sounds completely normal to me. Sleeping 6 hours at night? That sounds great - he would surely not be doing that if hungry? My DS fed at least 2 hourly at that age... and for a loooong time to come... glad you have confidence, the comments can be hard sometimes. Hang in there

booyhoo Sun 21-Jun-09 15:25:56

that should read "more demanding" i am bf as i type.

StayFrosty Sun 21-Jun-09 15:28:42

Is there such a thing as a 'normal' routine? 11 - 5.30 seems a huuuuge sleep for a 4 week old, perhaps he is feeding a lot in the day because he is beginning to get the sleeping at night thing - I don't think this is necessarily bad. My dd was the same except with evening cluster feeding, but slept through at 7 weeks. I never worried, just thought 'oh wow, sleep, excellent'; as long as he is happy and putting weight on and healthy and you feel ok I would say carry on as you are. But I am not an expert or anything, but I expect there will be one along in a minute.

booyhoo Sun 21-Jun-09 15:33:22

thank you both, i know he is normal. he gained 7 pounds in the last week, is contented. all that i expect at this age, its just the fact that its a midwife with almost 40 years experience that is saying this. i think if it wasnt my mum i would actually believe it but because it is her i dont. and i dont want LO to lose out as a result of my pig headedness.

PlumBumMum Sun 21-Jun-09 15:36:49

He is definitly getting enough milk if he can sleep that long through the night, so get that idea out of your head.

I know shes your mother and a midwife but I don't think you should listen to her on this one, your baby sounds fine, it sounds like your doing a brilliant job feeding him!

do you think your mother secretly wants abit more to do with the baby, I know my mum & MIL were always trying to get me to bottle feed just so they could do it themselves!

AnarchyAunt Sun 21-Jun-09 15:38:15

He is not feeding too often. Every 2-3 hours sounds 'normal' to me - the long stretch at night is far longer than my DD managed until she was about 6m!

You are right about the frequent feeding increasing your milk supply - formula will undermine your BF and disrupt supply.

Shame your mum is offering poor advice/support, specially as she is a midwife. What does she say when you explain your thinking?

Jacksmama Sun 21-Jun-09 15:47:01

You're doing great - my DS fed every 90 mins to 2 hours at four weeks, 24/7 hmm. Yours is doing fine!! And the long night-time sleep means he's getting enough during the day. I don't understand this insistence by any MW's (not just your mother) to top up with formula feeds - what better sleep/ wake pattern could they possibly want??? FFS.
Am shock grin at your l.o. gaining 7 pounds last week though...

booyhoo Sun 21-Jun-09 15:47:44

i dont think its a case of her wanting to be more involved, she really isnt like that, she does have all our best interests at heart, i just think perhaps she isnt as well informed as she may think she is. she says she knows what she is talking about as she has been a midwife for so long.

i just want to say that she is a theatre midwife now and isnt ivolved in advising new mothers regards feeding, its just that she has offered me advice, thinking she is helping. she hasnt been a community midwife for over 20 years so perhaps her info is a bit dated.

im not listening to her advice and i dont think i should have with ds1 either, but its hard to tell a woman with that much experience and also a mother who breastfed two children that she is wrong and i, the new mother and also her notoriously stubborn daughter am right.

booyhoo Sun 21-Jun-09 15:48:40

ahh, see!!! 7 ounces!!! baby brain still has a hold.

StayFrosty Sun 21-Jun-09 15:54:27

I think mums like to doomsay a bit tbh. My mum was very fond or doing a cat's bum mouth and saying 'you'll not get another one as good as her' in an ominous manner whenever my dd's brill sleeping came up (I'm hoping fervently she'll be proved wrong this september when I have dc2). Maybe you were an all night feeder when you were a baby and your mum feels like karma has missed a trick? grin

Stick to your guns, and crry on enjoying your lovely lovely baby and your lovely lovely sleep. congratulations!

PacificDogwood Sun 21-Jun-09 15:55:53

You are doing great, as is your DS.

All you are describing is entirely normal (in fact your DS sounds v civilised and consideratewink).

Could you point out to your mother that knowledge about BF has increased quite a lot and that advice has changed v drastically?? I know it is hard to say something like this to a person with experience AND as emotionally close as your mother but previous professional experience does not mean that she is right.
My mother was told in the 60s by her midwife that she did not have enough milk to BF me - on day 1 after delivery shock. She is sad to this day that she did not BF either of us.

I'll post you a link to a good summary on "how breast feeding works" if I can find it. You could print it out and leave it lying aroung where you mum could find it wink...

PacificDogwood Sun 21-Jun-09 16:02:06

Myths
How to know whether baby is getting enough milk

HTH
smile

foxytocin Sun 21-Jun-09 16:04:05

you are doing fantastically well. your mum otoh sounds like she needs a course to update her bf knowledge.

are you able to swot up a bit on the new weight charts which is based on bf babies? you can plot your ds2's weight on it and drip feed info to her over time as you acquire the knowledge and show her, drop by drop, how clever your boobs are?

i'm sure there are always mners around who can answer your q's along the way.

LeonieSoSleepy Sun 21-Jun-09 16:04:25

Message withdrawn

booyhoo Sun 21-Jun-09 16:05:21

thanks pacific, that would be great, at least then i would have something solid to back up what im saying. agee re the emotional closeness, especially with my history of not listening to her even when she's right.

really sad for your mum aswell that she was told this after 1 day!!!

my mum trained in 1972 so if she is going on what she learned then, she is slightly behind the times.

thank you all, just hearing you all back me up has given me the confidence to stand my grond as it were with my mum and not let her dissuade me from bfing again.

PacificDogwood Sun 21-Jun-09 16:16:40

<<wears "Dr Jack Newman is my hero" badge>>

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