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I'm getting really really down now.

(19 Posts)
mamakim Thu 18-Jun-09 07:15:52

I just can't cope with the inconsistancy of it all. I love love breastfeeding dd. It seems however that during the night her feeds are getting closer together not further apart. Last night she clusterfed with approx 5 mins between feeds from 6.30pm to 12.30am. Then she finally fell asleep and settled. My boobs seemed like they were both completely empty. An hour later she was awake wanting feeding again then every 1.5hrs until 4.30am, then slept til 7am. I have a 23 month old too and i feel like i'm starting to crack up. I do part co sleep but don't feel comfortable doing it plus i feel like i don't ever get a single minute to myself. Sorry for the one long rambling paragraph, i'm on my phone. And i'm very tired! She's 6 weeks btw. Don't get me wrong i'm not expecting much at that age but she was going 4 hours in the night and it just seems to be getting worse every day.

mawbroon Thu 18-Jun-09 07:45:50

6 weeks is classic growth spurt time. Stick with it and it should settle down.

Breasts are never completely empty, and the more often she feeds, the more milk your body will produce for her.

I know it feels like it's never going to end, but it will get better.

Do you have anyone who can take your older dc so you can take to bed for a while with the baby and get some rest that way?

jemum Thu 18-Jun-09 07:49:43

Hi,

Sorry to hear that you're struggling.

I'm sure someone who knows alot about breastfeeding will give you really great advice.

Don't most babies go through a growth spurt around 6 weeks? I know my LO went through a growth spurt at 3 weeks where for a few days he was feeding all the time and very unsettled. It was very disheartening, but at week 4 he is sleeping for much longer at night than before.

Could you get your partner to walk around with the baby so you can at least get a few hours of extra sleep?

sleepsforwimps Thu 18-Jun-09 07:56:17

It sounds like a growth spurt they are normal around six weeks, I found my ds had a major one in his early months and it was so draining for the week or so it lasted. It will pass, it will get better again and the feeds will get further apart. It is hard getting through them especially when you are so tired and have a toddler. I completly understand how knackered you are I have a 11 month old and a 2.5 year old, the growth spurts feel like they may never end sometimes but they do, try and hold onto your sanity I know that's hard but it is so worth getting through.

cfc Thu 18-Jun-09 08:35:15

Would you consider expressing and getting your husband to do the just before night time feed so you can go longer, if just for an hour?

shootfromthehip Thu 18-Jun-09 08:40:03

I had this with both of my two and it's hideous. It does sound like a growth spurt and you should be through it soon (even though you'll be totally knackered at the end of it).

Keep up all the good work and get the LO back in her crib when things settle down so that you can at least get a better quality sleep.

Good luck x

maria1665 Thu 18-Jun-09 08:44:21

Six weeks is a tough time - after the tough time of the first four weeks! It does get better - but make sure you are looking after yourself. When there is a growth spurt going on, you really have to dedicate yourself to feeding, and not alot else.

If this is your only child - great, you've got the chance to really go for it. Get yourself set up before you sit down to feed - a big drink, a sandwich and some malt loaf, a good video on the telly. Make sure you have a good healthy dinner - lots of protein and veg, and a good breakfast. And lots of rest and fluids. Now is not the time for dieting, entertaining, spring cleaning and all the other stuff we feel obliged to do.

This stage will pass very soon, but you do have to make producing milk and feeding your baby a priority, or else you will prolong it.

All my best wishes to you and your baby.

JackBauer Thu 18-Jun-09 08:56:22

I agree with the others, 6 weeks is the crunch point really. It is the last big growth spurt while you are still getting over the birth. There are more but they are not for a few weeks and are easier to deal with because you will have had sleep by then.
Hang on in there, you're doing great. And cbeebies is actually designed for BFing donchaknow. It won't do your older one any harm at all.

Are you comfortable feeding outside? I used ot go to an enclosed playground and feed DD2 on a bench while DD1 ran riot and wore herself out.

CantSleepWontSleep Thu 18-Jun-09 09:05:39

did you bf your first? if you did then you know that this will pass soon.

Please don't follow the expressing suggestion - your body needs to know that your baby wants milk at this time, and it won't if baby is drinking from a bottle.

Hang in there and it will get easier.

maria1665 Thu 18-Jun-09 09:16:28

Sorry mamakim - missed the bit about your 23 month old (we are in the grip of a stomach bug, and DD1 and 2 up all night.) Advice re good food still holds true though.

CantSleepWontSleep Thu 18-Jun-09 10:10:06

The good food is good for making mamakim feel better, but you do appreciate that it makes bugger all difference to her milk don't you maria?

maria1665 Thu 18-Jun-09 11:23:50

No Can't sleep - I don't agree. Breast fed baby number 3 throughout last year, and at the start, was so busy with EVERYTHING (builders mainly), neglected myself and nutrition. For first three weeks, baby kept losing weight and was producing green nappies.

HVs advice was to introduce bottles. Midwife (fab woman) sat me down and gave me the advice I have given above. Feed yourself good food, rest and concentrate on feeding your baby. And tell everyone else that's what you are doing. Within a week, nappies golden and baby putting on weight. By week 5, she had regained her birth weight. Continued feeding for 12 months.

You could argue that the good food increased my strength and ability to produce milk. Or you could argue that the food directly affected the milk. Either way, it doesn't really matter. The thing is - its important.

zeke Thu 18-Jun-09 11:37:52

I agree, try and hang in there! I hated these growth spurts and constant feeding on seemingly empty breasts, but that is what needs to happen for your body to make more. I hope it passes soon. It must be tough with a 23 mth old, too.

mamakim Thu 18-Jun-09 11:50:07

Thank you for all your replies. I'm not to bad in the day, i have some energy to get on with it and yes i feed dd wherever we go. It's when i put ds in bed that i feel like crying, i'm so weak and exhausted and that used to be r&r time now i'm just getting started on the mamoth feeding session. She has never let me put her down before 12.30am and now it's waking every 1hr/1.5hr until 6.30am. It's like torture. She is hungry all the time.

I'm sure my ds did the same but then i only had him to look after and could sleep when he did etc.

I had pnd with my ds and i'm terrified i'm going to get it again out of exhaustion. Even my dh is saying let me give her a bottle of formula at bedtime (i don't want to btw). How long is this growth spurt likely to last?

CantSleepWontSleep - is that true re eating because i was worried about that because i do forget to eat quite often.

mamakim Thu 18-Jun-09 11:52:28

Oh and i got her weighed yesterday 9lb10oz from birthweight 6lb15oz so it's not like she's not packing the pounds on.

tiktok Thu 18-Jun-09 11:53:49

maria, the thing is, your experience is individual and cannot be generalised. None of the 'food and rest' stuff checks out in research - none of it. What made the difference with you was almost certainly the very sensible advice to 'concentrate on feeding your baby'...now that will work on boosting supply and also means the baby will take in more milk

mamakim, eating well will help you feel less tired. It will not affect your milk or your bf directly.

You do need support and lots of loving, tender care.

mamakim Fri 19-Jun-09 16:02:26

Yesterday dd fed none stop between 6pm and 2.30am. she screamed and sucked her hands as though ravenous every time i tried to settle her into her moses basket, dh and i tried for ages but in the end it was obvious she was just hungry.

It's as though she's not getting enough milk, could this be the case?

I'm so tired, i don't know how long i can go on like this.

tiktok Fri 19-Jun-09 17:16:59

mamakim, if the only time she is unhappy and unsettled is when you put her down in her basket, then this seems to me that she wants to be close to you. Her on-off-on-off feeding all those hours is cluster feeding - very normal. Would you consider co-sleeping?

Screaming and sucking hands is a sign of a baby who's upset. It doesn't have to mean 'upset because hungry'. To a baby of 6 weeks, feeding = comforting and they dont know the diff. between being hungry and being unhappy at being alone.

What do you think?

It is a really difficult time, and it shatters your confidence. But it is normal.

(I am assuming she's healthy and thriving and growing well, BTW).

RockinSockBunnies Fri 19-Jun-09 19:46:09

Are you sure that your DD is actually hungry when she's crying and cluster feeding?

When DD was little she'd cry, I'd latch her on, she'd feed and then might howl again a few minutes later and the cycle was repeated. I think, looking back, that she was tired, rather than hungry, but of course would feed if I offered her the breast.

Could you maybe try getting her to sleep when she starts crying, by rocking, patting etc, or getting your DH to have a go at settling her? Maybe swaddling might help (though DD loathed it), or regular patting etc. Also, sometimes I think DD might have been windy and I just kept feeding her. Perhaps trying to burp and settle her without feeding?

If she's thriving and putting on weight then it sounds like you're doing a great job. It will get easier!

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