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Bresastfeeding - how to stop?

(23 Posts)
wb Tue 16-Jun-09 11:10:37

Ds2 is now 16 mo and still a big fan of the boob (for comfort/falling asleep now rather than food). I was hoping he'd naturally self-wean like ds1 did but there is no sign of that and I have to admit I'm getting to the point where I've had enough. Am
OK to carry on til he's 18 mo but really, then, would like to stop. Has anyone got any tips on how I can make the transition easier on both of us (do I just stop completely one day or cut down the no. of feeds for example?).

mrsflux Tue 16-Jun-09 13:22:09

wow 16 months well done!

we've swapped over at 10 weeks. i dropped one feed every week to stop me getting too engorged. so far so good.

don;t know if that advice will help as your BF is so much more established!

bumpybecky Tue 16-Jun-09 13:31:12

I'm not an expert, but have fed for that long before....

With dd1 (13mo) we were down to two feeds a day, then went away for the weekend, out of all normal routine. I forgot to feed her, she didn't ask, that was that!

With dd2 she stopped dead at 8mo. I got a bit sore, but after a few days it eased.

With dd3 she was 22mo, we were down to just morning and evening feeds. We only fed with me in/on our bed. We quit by Daddy doing bedtimes for a week or so to avoid bedtime feed. Morning feed stopped by us getting up as soon as she woke up.

ds is 17 months and we're still feeding.

I'd try to reduce feeds rather than stopping dead (risk mastistis, blocked ducts soreness etc). Try to cut down by only feeding in one place and distracting him from other feeds. You might need to be very busy for a few days! I find I get 'mugged' whenever I sit down at the PC, so if I wanted to stop I'd have to stop MNing shock Also you might need to enlist Daddy to do betimes if possible. Don't forget to offer more drinks in the daytime as he might be getting more milk from you that you think

kidcreoleandthecoconuts Tue 16-Jun-09 13:32:09

I suppose it would depend on how often you are feeding him. I'm still breastfeeding my 16 month old but only once or twice a day so for me to stop would just be a case of going to one feed a day and then stopping completely.I'm hoping my DD will just stop of her own accord though! smile

Danceswithchickens Tue 16-Jun-09 13:36:03

I fed my dd's for 2 years each & in their last year would do just morning & night time.

With both I cut back the night feed, DD1 had a bottle (which she had until she was 4 eek !) & DD2 seemed to lose interest in the night, can't even remember at what age. For DD1, after 2 weeks, DH took her downstairs for breakfast instead of 'boobie' & then after a couple of days she seemed to forget all about it.

No blockages, although I do still have milk in my boobs...not sure how long that'll last...

TreeTrunkThighs Tue 16-Jun-09 13:36:16

I am following this with interest as dd2 is 20 months and still feeding - I too am hoping she will self-wean, and sooner rather than later if she wouldn't mind wink

bumpybecky - I laughed at you getting 'mugged' every time you sit down at the PC - me too! It's like - mummy sits down and opens the laptop, ooh milk bar is open.

mamijacacalys Tue 16-Jun-09 13:58:27

DS self weaned at 14 mo but DD, like your DS2, was a complete boob monster and I bf her until 20 mo. Like your DS2, it was more comfort than anything.

Went cold turkey - went for a girlie night out and sleepover with a friend whilst DH took over. She slept all night..!! We didn't look back.

Didn't have any boob discomfort BTW, so shows it must've been comfort related rathen than food as she can't have been taking much milk at all....

Hope this helps smile

JArundale Tue 16-Jun-09 13:58:52

I'm still feeding at two and a half years and still no sign of giving up morning and night! Thinking of trying La Leche League group to see if any mums have any suggestions. Will try the getting up as soon as she wakes to see if I have any look with that. Good luck

wb Tue 16-Jun-09 18:10:00

Thanks all. Its mostly just morning and evening feeds now, with the odd afternoon one thrown in if tired/grumpy. Think I'll try dropping to one by getting dh to get him up and take it from there. Feel quite guilty about it though

DitsyMe Tue 16-Jun-09 19:41:32

I have this page bookmarked for when the time comes.

StealthPolarBear Tue 16-Jun-09 19:43:30

Does he / can he fall asleep on a night without bf-ing to sleep?
Ds is only just getting there (at 2) which is fine as I'm happy to keep feeding him, but if that is a problem that's probably something to sort out first.

WibblyPigRocks Tue 16-Jun-09 19:49:17

My son is now 12mo and we only BF last thing at night, which we will be stopping at some point over the next few weeks.

I have been desperate to give up BFing for a while and the big turning point for me was stopping BFing for sleep/comfort purposes during the night and for naps (he has always gone to sleep on his own at the start of the night). Unfortunately, for us, this did involve a small amount of controlled crying - along with a very supportive DH. Once this was achieved, we were left with a morning feed and an evening feed. The morning feed went last week - DH gave him a cup in a different room and we haven't looked back.

Don't know whether this will help you at all, but I guess what I'm saying is it's probably best to deal with any sleep associations first because they you might feel more 'in control' of the remaining feeds and then you can gradually exchange these for alternatives over the next few weeks.

dreamofsleep Fri 19-Jun-09 19:34:24

my dd is 16 months still bf but wakes every 2/3 hours goes to bed around 7 sleeps till 1030 ish every night the same i need help trying toget her off bf she loves it i like it to but we have come to the time to stop i need sleeeeep she wont have a bottle tried cows milk every formula if she has a cup just tips it away ! we co/sieep just because i,m so knacked she screams the house down if i wont feed her managed to really cut down in day so its just the nights any advice please

WibblyPigRocks Tue 23-Jun-09 14:57:09

dos - I'm guessing you must be worried about whether your DD will be getting enough milk if you stop, because you mentioned the cup, so my advice would be to work out ways in which you can get more cheesy/yoghurty things into her diet. Keep offering her milk and water in a cup, even if she seems completely disinterested.

Obv though, the cup won't help one jot at night - why on earth would your DD be comforted by a bit of coloured plastic when she's had a lovely warm boob until now? I would recommend you then buy a book - either 'The No-Cry Sleep Solution' or 'Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems'. Two VERY diff books. Choose the first of the thought of controlled crying makes you feel sick and you don't mind taking your time over the solution, and the second if you need a solution NOW and can deal with a crying child (short-term crying only). Both books are actually very good, IMO - they just appeal to different people in different situations.


WibblyPigRocks Tue 23-Jun-09 14:59:01

I meant to add that my DS was utterly rubbish at taking milk from a cup until I stopped feeding him at times apart from before his bedtime story. About 8 months passed between me introducing a cup and this happening but suddenly - within a few days - he suddenly started wolfing down over 100ml at a time. That's why I said persevere with the cup even if it seems pointless.

dreamofsleep Tue 23-Jun-09 18:50:26

thanks 4 advice will have water from cup no probs even she even wants a proper cup now as as soon as milk goes in !!!!!!! will keep trying as we will crack it she loves any cheese wiil eat a whole block if i let her & yogurt so i no its not dairy just boob addiction dp works nights so really hard he has tried to get dd back to sleep think the whole street can hear the reaction will do some more reading

bluepanda Tue 23-Jun-09 21:33:21

I cut down number of feeds to morning and bedtime, then managed distraction to get him off morning milky (aged about 12mo?) I used to and still do take small packet of raisins and a cup of water up to bed then when he wakes he comes and snuggles between me and DH and eats his snacks (the odd raisin in bed is small price to pay for extra 10 mins lie in!)
We just stopped bedtime feed few weeks ago, aged 15mo, and honestly i think i was more upset... I think maybe I had just waited until it was right time because in the end it was much easier than i anticipated.
I was given a great piece of advice when trying to cut down - 'Don't offer and don't refuse' - worked well for me and DS I think, meant it was sort of on his terms as well.
Good luck - honestly a few weeks ago I could never envisage being at this point. I'm relieved but miss it a bit at the same time, ifkwim.

FlapjakFairy Tue 23-Jun-09 21:46:33

I have also been wondering how I'm ever going to stop breastfeeding DS, he is not so fussed all day but loves his bedtime feed. I had a chat with my mum (bf 3 of us for 12+ months each) about this recently and she swears by hot chocolate! Not conventional but she says that once this was offered instead at bedtime, we never looked back. Obv you will still have getting to sleep issues - we have dealt with this through a "gradual retreat" type method which took ages (about a month before we coudl just pop him in bed and leave him to fall asleep without us in the room) but has worked a treat with minimal crying.

rollercoaster1 Sun 05-Jul-09 19:11:27

hi - mind if I join? - so glad to find a thread I can relate to. Im feeling so stressed out/fed up and teary lately because I have been trying to wean my DS (first child - fed on demand night and day) for 3 mths. Hes now 9 mths, is gradually eating more solids but sometimes its as little as 1/2 weetabix in the morn and a bit of bread. Other days he will eat 3 small meals but my problem is how to get him off the boob? He tugs and pulls at my tshirt, cries his eyes out if he wants the boob and I offer anything else.He will dring water from a cup and has started to take a little formula. Nightimes are totally out of control with him on and off the boob 8-10 times a night. I started co-sleeping months ago thinking it would make life easier but now he thinks that the milk bar is open all night and it feels constant. My brain is foggy, Im stuck in a rut and I go back to work in 10 weeks. He will starve or scream himself to death unless I make some progress before sept. Im at a loss. Tell me more about how practically to reduce the boob feeds. My mates "drop a bottle" whats the equivalent and how do you get round the emotional strain - crying, tugging top etc

memct Sun 05-Jul-09 23:24:03

Hi rollercoaster1, noy my thread but you're very welcome, I'm sure!
Check out dr gordon's website It was on another thread on weaning from the boob and could be the answer for you as it offers a kind & gentle method and also reassurance that you're not being cruel! Ignore the bit about waiting til your child is 12 months- if you've had enough, you've had enough.
Good luck!

memct Sun 05-Jul-09 23:35:50

Sorry, WB rude of me not to address that to you as well! I meant to add that the method could be good for weaning full stop maybe? My son also always feeds to sleep which is more the issue for us than stopping altogether. We've been trying to figure out what to do as my husband works in the evening so can't take over at bedtime which would be the simplest solution. He is only 12 months so we're not in a mad rush to stop- if he were older I'd definately try bribing with hot chocolate though! A bit wrong but total genius.

Nanc123 Mon 06-Jul-09 10:57:18

hi rollercoaster - my sister and I have had the same problem with co-sleeping and constant feeding when its not wanted. My son is nearly a year and I'm slowing down to give up quite soon.

I stopped feeding him during the night by using a cot and not feeding him when he woke up just giving water and cuddles. He was very upset for 2 nights but now doesn't expect to be fed. I now feed morning and about 6 oclock in the eve too. Feeding him to sleep at 8 was a bad idea for us too because when he woke up he wanted what put him to sleep ie boob. They do get used to what ever is the norm - I was in the same situation as you not that long ago good luck ps this was ok for us as I was wanting to cut down feeding and he eats very well in day too - I wouldn't have wanted to do this any earlier than I did (8 months)

rollercoaster1 Tue 07-Jul-09 09:53:02

thanks memct for that website - had a look and its quite similar to the no cry sleep solution which Im also reading. Its something I can do! Thanks also to nanc123 for your post, good to hear how you tackled the situation. DS is teeting at the moment but once that passes Ill be trying some of these tips - cheers!

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