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Fao tiktok

(11 Posts)
kmummy Sat 13-Jun-09 15:52:33

Firstly id like to thank you for the great advice youve given on here - ive always lurked and found your advice really informative but feel like im at my wits end now and am hoping you could give me some advice.

My lo is 12weeks and from birth hes fed hourly. I have always demand fed and he ends feeds i never unlatch him. His weight gain has been fine since he was 3wks prior to that it was slow but i think this was due to a rubbish latch, since week3 hes gained between 7-9oz a week. Since 9wks he settled to 5oz pw, i last had him weighed when he was 11weeks. Im finding the hourly feeds very hard, i do also have a four and five year old and dont get any time with them...lo is very grumpy all the time, hes never satisfied with the feeds, crys and constantly roots for the breast and im unsure what to do. Im worrying that my milk isnt satisfying him, and i hear his tummy growling which makes me feel awful. Am i being selfish putting my needs in front of his, i really wanted to bf him til hes one and feel im not listening to him because im so determined to do it, but of course his happyness is no1, just so confused with whats best - surely a 3month old feeding like a newborn still cant be right, i just want him to be happy. I know his latch is fine, all the hv says is hes not getting enough hindmilk....but hes gaining and i never unlatch him so i cant see how after a feed that can last an hour a time isnt giving him what he needs....

Ant advice would be really appreciated.

Dalrymps Sat 13-Jun-09 16:06:13

Bumping for you smile

lilymolly Sat 13-Jun-09 16:24:24

Bumping too, but have you tried a dummy?

My ds who is 11 weeks old would suck all day if I let him, but as soon as I know he has emptied a breast (so to speak) and he is full, I take him off, and if he is tired or grumpy, he wants to suck, and he uses the dummy.
He feeds every 2 hours during the day, but only once between 7pm and 7am at about 3am, so I dont mind him feeding that often as I get a good night sleep.

As well as asking here, have you tried a NCT or la leche league counciller?


tiktok Sat 13-Jun-09 16:34:45

kmummy, I think it will help you to speak to someone as well as posting here.

I can understand that this feeding pattern feels very demanding...but I seriously doubt that he feeds 24 times in 24 hours, sorry, even if it feels that way. Can you post again and say what happens in the day and in the night?

You can ignore the health visitor - anyone who tells you a healthy, thriving baby 'isn't getting the hindmilk' is showing you they understand very little about bf. You can also ignore the growling in his tum - that's normal, and everyone (adults, too) has growling, it's just you hear it more in a baby.

It can be normal for a baby of this age to feed a lot, and babies like this are often 'asking' not to be put down to sleep/nap alone...will help you to have a sling which keeps him in close contact and leaves your hands free.

Post again with more details, ok?

kmummy Sat 13-Jun-09 16:38:09

He does have a dummy, but he hates it, bit hit and miss but im continuing to use it with him incase it is the sucking sensation he wants. Im still so unsure how you tell if there totally i said he will constantly feed if i let him, and i hate to not let him have it when i know thats what he wants. I have wondered about the length he sleeps at night as he goes 8pm-4am now, although he was awake reg during the night before this and still continued to feed hourly in the day. Do you offer the dummy after a bf if hes still crying, or would you try the dummy and then feed if he continued to be unsettled?

I wouldnt have a clue how to contact a lllc...apart from the mw latching him on when he was born no-one has given me help or advice with bfing, i just feel like im bumbling along and havent a clue what im doing....

tiktok Sat 13-Jun-09 16:45:05

kmummy, a baby of this who sleeps this long at night is very likely to feed very freq. in the day...give NCT bf line a call 0300 330 0771 and talk to someone about this, as I think it will help.

When you say he will feed 'constantly' I am not sure what you mean - does he have small naps at the breast and then object/instantly wake up if he is placed in a cot or pram? Does he sometimes sleep in the car or the pram? Are there any times he sleeps in cot/pram in the day?

kmummy Sat 13-Jun-09 16:56:52

Thanks for your reply tiktok.

As he sleeps well at night i know im getting time off then, but the day time is hard going. At the moment our day sort off goes like this, although it can differ as he doesnt feed at a set time.

4am bf
6am bf
7.45 bf
8.15 school run, keep giving dummy there and back but generally will feed in the car at 8.45am outside the gates otherwise he will cry badly on the way back.
9.15 He normally likes to have an hour or so on the breast when we get in, dozing and eating again, sometimes he may nap for 30minutes. This varies though.
12.30 bf
2.00pm bf
2.30 school run will feed again in the car at 3.20 as he starts crying while i wait to pick the children up.
4.00 bf, he will then feed at 5.30 has his bath at 6pm then i feed him from 7pm until he goes into a deep sleep around 7.30pm - goes straight into his cot until 4am. It does concern me that between these times he will grizzle and be unhappy, i guess hes so different to my other two in this way.

Your right in the way that he loves to be close, if i dont move him after a feed he stays asleep, but as soon as i put him down in the day hel wake immediatly. He doesnt have naps unless in my arms, so i do wonder if his groucyness is down to tiredness then and maybe im taking it as a cue for feeding as i know hel go to sleep when he feeds. I bought a sling when he was born and never used it, would it be worth putting him in this after a feed? Is it ok for him to cry after a feed or do i put him back on which is what i generally do.

Thank you for the reassurance with the hv, i was hoping for advice from her and all i felt like when i came out was im not giving him enough.

llareggub Sat 13-Jun-09 17:12:33

kmummy, my DS is 6 or 7 weeks old (I forget which blush) and the sling is working very well for us. My DS hates to be put down after a feed and the sling is saving my sanity.

lilymolly Sat 13-Jun-09 19:14:00

sounds like you are misreading the cues of tiredness rather than feeding?

if you take out the couple of feeds when he has been fed anhour before, he is really going every 2 hours like me ds, who also sleeps well on a night which is a good thing yes? grin

tiktok Sat 13-Jun-09 19:44:34

kmummy, he's feeding 11 times in 24 hours, from what you say, with that long gap between his last feed at 7 pm and his waking feed at 4 am.

This is not abnormal or especially unusual, really - though with a busy day with 2 other kids it will feel pressurising at times, I can understand that.

It's not 'every hour' and it's not 'constant' and he does sleep, though he prefers to be close to you when he naps

He's fine. The bf is fine. But it does mean you'll be helped by a sling and with a child-free break when you can get one at weekends. It won't last forever and you have pretty good evenings, considering he is only 3 mths old

weasle Mon 15-Jun-09 02:29:43

kmummy, my ds2 was like this (except without the nice long sleep at night!). I found it very hard to cope with my then 2yo as well, and all surrounding family, HCP and infact society telling me he wasn't satisfied with my milk and i should ff as the only way to get a break.

I posted on her in similar desperation and lovely tiktok reassured me this was normal behaviour. i think everyone is used to ff babies who might go longer without feeds, but this is not normal. human babies are supposed to be held and fed all the time.

i found a sling very useful as my ds also hated being put down in pram/cot/car. you will not spoil him, it is natural for him to want to be held.

i also enjoyed reading thefussy baby book which reassured me that lots of feeding, carrying is normal and not bad habit forming.

i now have a lovely 18mo (still bf) who loves cuddles but sleeps through most nights and is happy and well adjusted.

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