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please help reassure me i don't know why i am doing this!!!!!

(26 Posts)
chibi Sat 13-Jun-09 15:36:17

my ds was born last week at 34+6. He is excl bf via cup + some latching on.

can anyone reassure me about the following?

--> he does loads of wet nappies (i.e >6 daily) but sometimes only one poo, he even went without pooing one day. Is this normal?

-->now that he is latching more, I have no idea how much he is getting -- it is like ok 50 ml from cup + ??? from breast. I am trying to go by, will he take more, does he seem happy, but could he also be finished eating because he has exhausted himself at the breast and doesn't have the energy to drink more?

--> if he possets, does that mean that he has had enough/more than he needed + I can relax?

I am trembling on the verge of switching to ff today - mainly cos I think bottle feeding would be so much easier. bottle feeding at his age would probably scupper him latching, so it may as well be formula in the bottle iyswim.

I just don't know where I am going to find the reserves of strength/perserverence to carry on. i also have a 2yo dd to look after, and dh goes back to work in a week.

things have to get better fast.

right now i am at a major low. thanks for reading this far + for any help you can give.

Poledra Sat 13-Jun-09 15:40:22

Can help on the poos - that is perfectly normal for a bfed baby. Some bfed babies (including my own smile) go less than once a day. As long as there are plenty of wet nappies, you're fine.

Someone else will be along soon with help on the rest of them I'm sure. I didn't have premmie babies so don't want to mislead you on anything.

chibi Sat 13-Jun-09 15:42:08

i know it is ok when they are older ( had a friend whose dd went once every 5 days!) but he is so young - mw said it should be 2-3 dirty nappies a day

tutu100 Sat 13-Jun-09 15:43:07

I think it actually sounds like you are doing really well. Is your ds still in SCBU? Have you discussed how best to keep going with them. The reason I ask is because my cousin had twins at 34 weeks and her SCBU did feed them ebm in a bottle as well as encouraging them to latch on for feeds and it worked fine for her. They didn't seem to get nipple confusion.

50mls sounds fine though. My ds2 couldn't drink more than that in one feed at 4 weeks (on the rare occassion he had a bottle). So I think it sounds fine.

I'm sure someone else will be along with better advice, but I think you everything you are doing sounds fine.

Poledra Sat 13-Jun-09 15:46:55

I don't know about premmies but I didn't think it was any different, chibi. My DD1 only pooed once every 2-3 days when she was tiny, and that was fine. DD2 was a once-a-day girl, as was DD3, with occasional days when they didn't poo at all. Anyway, this'll keep you bumped till someone more knowlegeable comes along!

chibi Sat 13-Jun-09 15:48:43

no, amazingly he was only 1 hour in scbu right after birth, then up on the post natal ward with me, and both of us discharged 5 days later.

having spoken to other mums of prem babies i now know how incredible this is -- my ds is very strong and healthy.

chibi Sat 13-Jun-09 15:51:02

really, poledra? I feel like i am getting mixed messages all over the shop - formula packets say 60 ml is fine for a 6 lb baby ( he is 5lb9, not regainrd birth weight of 5lb 14 yet) but scbu said he should be increasing by 5 ml daily - by now it should be close to 100ml.

that's 3oz every 3 hours! how the hell can i do that?

foxytocin Sat 13-Jun-09 15:59:19

chibi, it sounds like you are doing very well. is he generally content after he feeds? alert? loads of wet nappies is v good. most babies at this age will poo more often but not always the case.

it may be helpful to call a helpline for reassurance.

the scbu may be talking of increases in feeds based on what ff babies do. it is not uncommon for scbu nurses to know v little of how bf babies feed.

I really recommend a lot of skin to skin contact at this age and the best way to get this with a toddler to look after is with a wrap sling. that way you get on with things and sit down stop every 2 hrs and offer the breast.

chibi Sat 13-Jun-09 16:02:53

thank you foxytocin.

he is usually content after feeds - he is lying conked out in my arms right now after being on the boob off + on for the last while.

i have called all the helplines and left messages, hopefully I will hear back from one tonight.

can a prem baby use a sling?

foxytocin Sat 13-Jun-09 16:03:57

also try biological nurturing also known as baby led attachment to help with latching. it is basically sitting up propped up in bed in a semi reclined position and letting your baby feed by attaching himself. good if someone takes the toddler out or if you can spend an hr or so in bed with the toddler and baby reading books, watching a dvd, etc.

LaDiDaDi Sat 13-Jun-09 16:05:04

I think that you are doing brilliantly. I really do.

I soooo wish that I had resisted topping up with ff with my dd who was prem and came home at 36 weeks.

No specific advice but heaps and heaps of encouragement here!

foxytocin Sat 13-Jun-09 16:06:34

yes a wrap sling look at the pdf i linked below. if you have never used one before a stretchy one may be easier. i am sure you can find a mner to sell you one second hand if money is tight.

i will post a link for safety guidelines in a mo. just let me go find it.

chibi Sat 13-Jun-09 16:09:36

this is the hardest thing i've ever had to do.

i am ashamed of any judginess i felt before this child came - i bf my dd for 18 months, only stopping when pg with ds + it got uncomfortable...

foxytocin Sat 13-Jun-09 16:11:13

correct positioning - wraps are at the bottom.

not specifically mentioned in this article as far as i remember but when positioning a new born or prem baby in any sling, make sure his neck is not on his chest. it can be either tilted a little backwards or straight up facing to one side but not chin to chest. smile

chibi Sat 13-Jun-09 16:17:35

thanks foxytocin

mears Sat 13-Jun-09 16:17:59

chibi - does he need topped up after every breastfeed? Is he latching on for most feeds now? I would have thought you would be able to move to breastfeeding with no top ups soon. You are doing brilliantly well and he will learn to fully breastfeed. How many feeds does he actually latch on the breast for?

chibi Sat 13-Jun-09 16:21:00

hi mears,

he latches on for most feeds now, and also during, i will do breast-cup-breast-cup etc as sometimes he is too excited to drink from the cup + the breast also settles him.

lately, if he is on the breast a while, he will top up with maybe 30-40 ml from the cup. can i assume he is getting the rest from me? when it was all/mostly cup it was usually about 70 ml that he would take.

mears Sat 13-Jun-09 16:21:04

My DS took 3 weeks to regain his birthweight when born at 35+6 weeks.

Your DS will be increasing his intake form the breast as he gets more efficient. I would have thought that he would not need to be increasing top-ups by 5ml per day.

chibi Sat 13-Jun-09 16:21:29

do you really think we will get there?

foxytocin Sat 13-Jun-09 16:21:46

i can imagine that the scariest part of it is that you don't know how long is a piece of string plus it is a weekend so your mw or hv won't be around till monday. etc. plus having the time to over analyse things.

i became neurotic with my first who was jaundiced and having zero help from mw and hv who knew worse than nothing about bfing.

just be patient.

chibi Sat 13-Jun-09 16:22:45

in the meanwhile do i need to panic about my supply - will it decrease before he gets good at removing milk?

mears Sat 13-Jun-09 16:23:46

Yes I would say so. As his breastfeeding is imroving, the top-ups should be lessening. This where you may find that you need to breastfeed him more often but without top-ups. The top-ups should be kept for when he has not had a good breastfeed. He should not need them all the time for much longer.

Stick in there - you are doing really well.

chibi Sat 13-Jun-09 16:24:19

that's it exactly. it was easier to trust that dd was getting enough as she was bigger and term. she did do catch down growth mind you so if you search the archives i am sure you will find me freaking out about that too. smile

chibi Sat 13-Jun-09 16:25:26

thank you all for your encouragement, you don't know how helpful it is.

mears Sat 13-Jun-09 16:27:26

Sorry that answer was to last post about assuming he is getting most milk from you.

If you are concerned about supply you can still express and store it. Most likely this is a confidence thing - worrying about whether he is getting enough.

When my DS3 was in special care I used to lie about his feeds sometimes. I always said that he had fed well even when he was disinterested sometimes, to avoid interference! When he did not feed well at one feed, he made up for it at the next. We didn't do any top-ups at all once he stopped tube feeds.

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