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hiya people help me out here

(19 Posts)
alex7715 Mon 08-Jun-09 22:04:47

i went out on sat nite first time on a nite out ds is 6 months i had expressed 6 0zs and was 10 mins away told husband to call me if baby woke up before i got home and guess what he did he fed him f now i know my little ne had to have top ups cos of weight but i did it very few at the begining and have not fed him f since 10 weeks i have been devasted for 2 days now rung la lache and threw all the bottle sin th ehouse away how could he do this to me and why please help me rationalise this . xxxxalex

WhatFreshHellIsThis Mon 08-Jun-09 22:07:16

sorry having trouble understanding, do you mean your husband fed the baby formula?

If so, I would be annoyed too in your shoes but formula isn't bad for babies, it won't have harmed your DS and a one off won't affect your breastfeeding. Make it clear to DH that you don't want him to do that again smile

alex7715 Mon 08-Jun-09 22:10:01

yes husband and i know it wont harm him but i was my wishes

WhatFreshHellIsThis Mon 08-Jun-09 22:10:54

What did your DH say when you told him you weren't happy?

fishie Mon 08-Jun-09 22:11:45

oh dear alex. was your dh just trying to give you a longer time out? i would be upset too, but it really won't make much difference to your ds. 6m is food time so you could think of this as an extra thing to try...

KirstyJC Mon 08-Jun-09 22:16:32

Maybe you need to spell it out to him - my DH thought 'milk was milk' and didn't understand that BFing is much more than just getting food in...

Try and explain it rationally (if you can!), letting him know how important it is to you. In my experience (and sister's too) men really don't get it. Try speaking very slowly and clearly and it might sink inwink.

And well done on having a night out - hope it was funsmile. I must get around to that soon myself (DS 7mo shock).

alex7715 Mon 08-Jun-09 22:27:29

no he knew exacltly what he was doing and i have tried all of the above but thank you for you kindness and i realy wouldnt have minded food just not fm . xxxx

Jennylee Mon 08-Jun-09 23:47:38

it is okay I understand how you feel but it not worth getting really upset it won't matter when the baby is older, that once at six months old, he was fed formula, is just as if he tried some baby food at that age. I know it is annoying when people do what you don't want, but at least your dh was trying to help you, had good intentions.

Jennylee Mon 08-Jun-09 23:50:19

it was not poison, some babies are fed nothing but formula from birth and they are okay. It is irritating when your wishes are ignored though. If you feel really strongly about this make sure there is no formula or bottles in the house in your dh's reach.

Dysgu Mon 08-Jun-09 23:55:44

I feel sorry for you that your wishes were not followed but please remember that, whilst men don't seem to understand why we make such a fuss over some things, this is his child too.

Make sure he understands for next time and don't let it put you off going out again.

alex7715 Tue 09-Jun-09 17:19:54

i wont want to leave him with him again as i dont trust him now and i know its not poison just not what i want my son to have

cfc Tue 09-Jun-09 18:01:19

If you handle this the way you seem to be heading (not leaving the boy with him again) you will cause more problems for your rellie and therefore your son than the odd bottle of FF.

There are times to fight your corner and make a stand, I do not think this is one of them - explain rationally what your feelings are on this and let it go.

alex7715 Tue 09-Jun-09 18:45:29

i have struggled for a longtime at the begining against hv and mw and when i was poorly and i never gave him f after 8 weeks so im sorry i dnt think thts true but your entitled to your opinion

elkiedee Tue 09-Jun-09 23:54:05

I'd be very cross too - I failed to bf ds1 early for this sort of reason also had to give ds2 top ups but managed to get back to exclusive bf at 5/6 weeks, though it's quite likely ds will have to have formula when I go back to work when he's 9 months - but I don't expect anyone to give him formula before that point. You'd told dh to contact you and you'd left him some expressed milk.

What did he say about why he'd given him formula?

alex7715 Wed 10-Jun-09 00:00:47

he just said i hadnt been out for so long didnt want to spoil it but he did and he has and i dont care what ppl say he had no rite and i cant help how i feel , thanks for support hun . xxxx

SalBySea Wed 10-Jun-09 00:11:58

"i wont want to leave him with him again as i dont trust him now and i know its not poison just not what i want my son to have"

- shouldnt that have been "our son"??

I really dont understand the problem, okay to be a little miffed cause he did things a bit differently to how you'd have done it but I think it is a massive over reaction

If my DH gave our son F when I had left EBM I would be a bit baffled as to why but that's all

your DH didnt do your son any harm - sounds like he's fed and happy so why wouldnt you leave him with him again?

BTW, he has as much of a "right" to choose what your (PLURAL) son has to eat and drink as you do - he is his parent after all

elkiedee Wed 10-Jun-09 10:24:09

While I agree that OP's ds is also her dh's son, and there may be issues there, this isn't just a matter of choosing what he has to eat and drink. I think when bfing has been a real struggle initially, just giving formula like that isn't right.

Alex, perhaps as well as continuing bf, you can talk with your dh about how the two of you approach introducing solids together, and try to agree on food which your dh can help to prepare, offer or feed (depending on whether you're doing Baby led weaning with finger foods or purees or whatever) and clear up. It sounds like he wants to help, but I think what he did when you went out was very wrong.

PuzzleRocks Wed 10-Jun-09 10:26:58

Can I ask why you had formula in the house if those are your wishes?

alex7715 Wed 10-Jun-09 15:52:15

it was from when he was first born and had to suplement im gonna leave this now it has been resolved . thanks

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