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Do they ever self wean?

(15 Posts)
janx Fri 05-Jun-09 14:59:23

Never really intended to bf for this long - ds is 18 months, and I have very mixed feeling about it now. Fed dd til she was 14 months and by then it was only 1 feed and she sort of lost interest. Ds is completely different and is v whingy and quite rough. He pulls at my top, and gets hysterical if I try and stop a feed. He also isn't that comfortable to feed - never really got his latch sorted out. I feel like I might have to psyche myself up to stop as I know he is going to be furious - but I am getting fed up with secretly hoping he will just wake up one day and not want it. Having said that there are lovely times when he is calm and I will miss the cuddles....any top tips?

whomovedmychocolate Fri 05-Jun-09 15:10:10


DD is self weaning slowly - she's two and a half. She was really getting on my wick as I'm tandeming with DS (10 months) You can encourage him by talking about 'when you are a big boy you will wear big boy pants and have cup milk and do lots of exciting things' etc.

She's skipped up to two days in a row now and only nurses for a few minutes when she does ask. I found if I was downstairs when she woke up she didn't ask as she's always had a feed in bed with me in the morning.

geekgirl Fri 05-Jun-09 15:13:39

yes they do. Although some need more encouragement than others.
My ds was a bit like your's - very demanding and lots of tugging at my top etc. - I decided to stop all daytime feeds when he was about 14 months old as I was so fed up with it - he was cross for a few days but quickly got used to it, and it made such a difference to me.
He eventually weaned himself off the bedtime feeds just before his third birthday.

kalo12 Fri 05-Jun-09 15:16:17

i'm in the same boat. don't think i can wait til 2.5 yrs. ds is 16 months now and wants to bf constantly night and day. i've had enough, mostly, as he jumps about and never voluntarily unlashes unless i dangle a choc button but that is a rarity.

janx Fri 05-Jun-09 15:21:55

I have stopped feeding if he wakes up in the night - dp goes into him. He is most whingey at home, don't think I can wait to 2.5 either. I am wondering about going cold turkey. I work three days a week, so he only gets a morning and night feed on those wondering if he is more clingy because i am feeding him or is that just his way at the moment

kalo12 Fri 05-Jun-09 15:25:18

oh god same here. i work 2 days but going back full time in july. the moment i step through the door he is hounding me.

how does your dp get him to sleep? my ds screams until he sees me

whomovedmychocolate Fri 05-Jun-09 16:18:57

Talk to them and explain it. I told DD we would have a cuddle at 8am but then I had to do things and she understood and because she knew it would happen at 8am she didn't ask any other time. I know it's a pain but remember you have always been their anchor. Everything is okay with mummy there and the thought of mummy not being there with her lovely milk makes them feel very vulnerable and stroppy.

Honestly it does get easier.

iwantitnow Fri 05-Jun-09 18:57:14

I know how you feel although i had the added incentive of trying to conceive and stay pregnant. I cut one feed at a time, every 2-3 weeks. I admit I used chocolate buttons with DD as an incentive but there were a handful of tantrums. Just set time and place when you are prepared to feed - I started to only feed her on the sofa at home. It took 6 or 8 weeks to go down to just having a bedtime feed. She self weaned at 22 months but I was 14 weeks pregnant so that might have helped. DS only a few weeks old but have vowed to stop at 12 months as I think leaving it later was harder for both of us.

FrannyandZooey Fri 05-Jun-09 19:02:12

nearly all children if left will self wean between age 2 and 4
my ds self weaned age 3.10

whomovedmychocolate Fri 05-Jun-09 19:11:53

iwantitnow - DD liked my milk much more when I was pregnant with DS. You were extremely lucky! hmm

Babieseverywhere Sat 06-Jun-09 14:18:05

I am tandem nursing two boob monsters 2.9 years and 9 months and I am starting to think my toddler will never self wean. Not that I am bothered at the moment. She still nurses a lot when we are together, though she is night weaned which helps my sanity.

I keep reminding myself that like F&Z said most children self wean before 4 years old. And if she is still nursing by 4 years old, I will have to keep reminding myself that they all self wean at some stage and that there are no nursing 18 year old

janx Sat 06-Jun-09 14:40:30

I don't even think chocolate buttons would appease him...I have tried a biscuit on occasions and he throws away in a temper. Talking to him about it is pointless as he just wails. He hates cows milk too

Kalo12 - it has taken a long time for dp to be able to calm him - I would cave in and feed him - but dp is so determined that I don't feed him in the night anymore. Basically he lies on the floor and sings to him and it does work now.

audreyraines Sat 06-Jun-09 15:19:35

i cut down to 3 feeds a day at around 14 months (morning, before nap and before bed), and then gradually two and then just hte bedtime feed. i started giving him a cup of milk before his BF in the evening so he got used to that. and then amazingly after a while he might sometimes forget to ask for a BF. it was not really self weaning as i took the initiative, but it was really quite painless. eventually i felt okay in the evening to say that he was a big boy and he could now drink his milk from a cup. we probably completely finished up around 21 months or so which seemed to work well for us.
i think though, if it's driving you crazy, try to firstly set some ground rules about when and where you will agree to nurse, maybe just before bedtimes when he is a bit more relaxed?

audreyraines Sat 06-Jun-09 15:21:58

oh ps. ds kind of grew into cows milk. he still doesn't drink that much of it, but he's gotten a bit better as he got older. as long as they are eating other stuff i don't see it as a big deal.

CherryChoc Sun 07-Jun-09 11:14:41

Apparently 7 is the oldest age possible to self-wean as their jaw changes shape ready for their adult teeth. I'm sure that's really rare though!

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