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Help! Am thinking of stopping bf- pls come and talk me out of it

(10 Posts)
PinkyRed Fri 05-Jun-09 14:04:25

Bit long, sorry - but I'm at my wits' end and I'm hoping some MN bf experts are around to help me:

My ds was born nearly 5 weeks ago, and was just 4lb9, but healthy apart from being so small. He fed ok for the first few weeks, but over the last couple of weeks, something's changed and I don't know what.

He seems to get into the right position to latch on, but he just doesn't suck. His mouth is open, and his chin is down, with the little double chin they get when they're feeding properly, and his mouth works up and down, but no sucking. Meanwhile,my breasts go into full production, but he doesn't seem to be emptying them, so every couple of days over the last week I've been really engorged, which makes it harder for him to latch on properly.

I can't stand the pain every couple of days, so I'm seriously considering giving up. I fed my dd until she was one, and loved it, so I'd be gutted to have to give up with ds, but I just can't stand it.

Any advice from anyone out there? I'll try anything!

Thank you

SOLOisMeredithGrey Fri 05-Jun-09 14:06:38

No advice except that I found La Leche League very helpful. Hope you can get past your stumbling block and continue to bf. Good luck.

StealthPolarBear Fri 05-Jun-09 14:07:26

"his mouth works up and down, but no sucking"
well I don't think they do suck do they - just clamp the nipple and chomp.
Are you sure he's not getting milk? The engorgement could be your supply settling. Is he still having wet and dirty nappies, and seeming well in himself?

plimple Fri 05-Jun-09 14:11:31

Get help locally from MW, La Leche BF counsellor. Good luck.

PinkyRed Fri 05-Jun-09 14:14:22

StealthPolarBear You're right -I don't think I mean suck, do I? - I think I mean clamped - that feeling you get when they're properly attached and holding the nipple properly. That's what he's not doing - his mouth stays loose, iyswim

Yes, he has about four or five dirty nappies a day, and seems ok I think. Do you really think the engorgement could be normal - that makes me want to cry.

Thanks for the La Leche recommendation to everyone else- will try and find them locally. MW and HV useless - can't see anyone until next Friday. My breasts feel like they wil have exploded by then!

tiktok Fri 05-Jun-09 14:16:58

Pinky - bit more info needed

How's your baby growing?

Babies don't tend to empty breasts - and the engorged feeling you are getting sounds like a touch of over production, rather than your baby not feeding well (assuming he is growing ok). This would be perfectly consistent with a baby who has built up a generous supply in a mother who has already been a 'good lactater'.

So - again assuming he is fine - the issue is with finding a practical way of dealing with the discomfort rather than switching to formula...yes?

tutu100 Fri 05-Jun-09 14:19:46

DS2 (who is 24 weeks) often still feeds without latching on as such. He will cry and pull on my nipple until my let down goes and then will just sort of have a goldfish kind of expression whilst the milk sprays in and occasionally he swallows.

I think the engorgement feeling is probably just getting used to supply and demand and will settle down. I think when you have previously fed a child for a long time you forget what that engorged feeling of the early days is like - I know I did. It was such a shock with ds2 as sometimes it hurt so much I couldn't raise my arms above shoulder height. In fact it was the first time I used to have to express a bit of milk off to get comfortable (never had to do that with ds1).

Good Luck I think it sounds like he is ok, but it never hurts to get a second opinion does it.

StealthPolarBear Fri 05-Jun-09 14:22:16

I didn't mean normal as in from now on I just mean it might be something to do with your supply that will be resolved in a couple of days.
Glad he is well in himself.
iswym about the clamping - is he like that for every single feed or just some of them? Maybe he has had a growth spurt so your breasts have caught up (so the engorgement) and now he's over it he doesn't need to feed as often but is comfort sucking (or not, as the case may be)

PinkyRed Fri 05-Jun-09 14:22:22

He was 5lb15 last Thursday, so when he was nearly 4wks, but most of that was put on in the first three weeks - he'd only put two ounces on in week3. I haven't had him weighed this week as couldn't make it down to the clinic butI think he's put more on.

Yes - if I could deal with the engorging, then I could carry on, as long as he was doing ok and not getting dehydrated.

confusedfirsttimemum Fri 05-Jun-09 18:20:53

I'm not an expert at all. However, could you just take the pressure off the breast by expressing a small amount? I found that that really helped with DD when my breasts were engorged. She was kind of 'bouncing off' them.

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