Anyone done CC or similar on their own (ie without partner's support)?

[vicdubya]

Just wondering.

Ds is 14 months & still BF. Started to go through nights & wake up at a decent hour (i.e. after 7am imo) for a couple of weeks recently, and I managed to get down to one feed a day (before bed). But this week is back to waking in the night / very early, and I have always fed him in these circumstances. I think it's time to stop now.

I don;t know whether I can cope with doing cc or something similar on my own. Dh working away. Has anyone tried it at this age, without a partner to help out?!!! How long did it take?

I don;t think I can bear it, or will just end up replacing one thing with another, like bringing ds into my bed - currently he does sleep all night in his cot in his own room, which is how I want it.

[vicdubya]

Anyone?

[giraffeski]

Message withdrawn

[Chandra]

If he is not around it may end up being easier. If you always have the same routine, and your DS knows you mean business it would be very easy. I find it easier to keep DS naps and sleeping routines (including going to bed) when DH is away, otherwise I need to convince another person (DH) to stick to the routine even when he would clearly would like to loosen up the things a bit (which can ruin days and days of consistent hard work).The only thing I would suggest is not to start CC UNLESS you are COMPLETELY sure that you will follow through whatever it takes, otherwise it may been counterproductive. HTH

[Chandra]

Earplugs are wonderful. It alsohelps to keepinmind that a child who sleeps well is happier the day afterwards and that you as a mother will be prepared to have more fun with himif you have also had a good rest

[giraffeski]

Message withdrawn

[NotQuiteCockney]

If you have a baby monitor that you can turn down, so you just see the lights, you can use earplugs/telly/whatever to cover the noise while you go through with it.

I've done some CC on my own, and found it hard. You can at least come on here for support, during.

Oh, and I second Chandra's comment that you shouldn't start until you're really ready to follow through. You can try CC for a night or two, and if it's not working, give up. But you can't really give up midway through a night, as that teaches DS that as long as he howls for however long you've stood it, you'll give in, IYSWIM.

[vicdubya]

Thanks...I do have some earplugs.

If ds won;t settle in the evening I already do CC - go in 2 mins, then 5, then 10, etc. He usually settles after about 30 mins. But he generally goes down OK in the evenings. It is the night wakings & worse the early morning walkings I need to deal with.

I feel quite strict about it in the evenings because that is the only time I get to myself.

But I don;t have much resolve in the middle of the night, and especially not if he wakes around 5 - 5.30 am (which is the most usual). How do you do cc at that time of the morning?!

I am afraid if I don;t feed him he will just wake right up and we will have to start the day. If he wakes at that time he is usually standing up in the cot when I go in, and 20% of the time doesn;t go back to sleep anyway.

[NotQuiteCockney]

Oh, goodness, I'd just take him in bed with me at 5 or 5:30. But then I'm still sleeping with my 7-month-old. (And I do know lots of people who've brought their kids to bed in the early morning, without it turning into co-sleeping.) Waking at that hour is pretty hard to resolve. (The Ferber method is to postpone the first nap, to shift it all later.)

The Ferber method to stopping feeds in the night is to reduce how long you feed for - do 10 minutes of feeding one day, 9 the next etc. You do CC after each short feed. By the time you're doing 3 minutes, it's not worthwhile, as it just pisses off the baby. This way, they change their expectation of feeding at inconvenient hours. It feels really weird, timing feeds like that, and it would be hard to do without help, I think.

[vicdubya]

NQC yes I can't see how I would know how long I had been feeding for in the dark lying down in ds room!

Yes I am trying to make sure he doesn;t sleep before lunch now, but it is hard because if we have to go out in the car in the morning he always falls asleep. So trying to limit morning going out!

Anyway last night we made some progress...although he woke at 12.30 and I fed him, he then started crying again at 5am, but he couldn't have been hungry, so I just left him and stuck my fingers in my ears. He must have gone off again quite quickly. He started again about 5.45, again, left him, and he soon stopped.

He then slept til 7.30 and I had to wake him up. Hoorah!!!! Tonight I'll get the earplugs out.

Also, he has not settled down for his afternoon nap so again I have done a little cc, 2, then 5 mins...didn;t need to do 10.

I am feeling much more confident now.

And I think maybe it does help not having dh here because he is a very light unsettled sleeper and when ds wakes up he also wakes and often starts tossing & turning so even if I could get back off he keeps me awake

He does sometimes sleep thourgh, a couple of weeks back he was doing uninteruppted 12 hour nights, but that was the first time ever.