Help please! I think I am about to crack up - I must be doing something wrong(28 Posts)
If anyone can offer any advise I would really appreciate it. I have a 5 week old baby and am BF but thats all I do all day everyday from 7am to 10pm my lovely little angel feeds none stop. I have really tried to go 2-3 hours between feeds but she cries and cries. Then after 10.00 pm she sleep until 2am and then 5am - This cant be right can it?? Her weight gain is normal, a dummy doesn't seem to settle her.. some times rocking does but without help I would not be able to eat or drink myself - What am I doing wrong - can she really be feeding so much?
I love her so much I want to do the right thing and BF but formula looks appealing right now, well it doesn't really, the thought make me cry but dont think I can go on like this.
Sounds like you just have a really hungry baby. My DD did this at about 6wks and once I had her weighed I could see why, she had been having a major growth spurt. I was exhausted and permanently on the verge of tears - BUT IT GOT BETTER!!
You're doing exactly the right thing, all the demand will build up your supply. Maybe get stationed on the sofa with some Dairy Milk and the remote control and remember that its a phase and it will pass.
If you end up FF its not the end of the world, but if you want to keep BF just be easy on yourself and go with the flow. If she can't last between feeds then she can't. At 5wks she is still teeny.
Don't panic, it really is normal as long as she's gaining weight well - they suckle for so many other reasons as well when they're so small - she just loves you so much she wants to be there all the time!
No real advice I'm afraid, though someone sure to be along soon with a lot more knowledge than me. I've been there, though - it does slow down eventually but you just need to feed her whenever she wants (if you do have help to eat and drink take full advantage of it) until your supply and her demand have balanced out.
Don't lose heart - it's a beautiful thing you're doing for her...you sound like a lovely mummy!
Oh bless. It does get easier, honest!
My ds1 fed very much like this. You are getting more sleep than some, but it is totally exhausting in the daytime.
However, these are early days. Are you getting enough support from friends and family? You should not be under any pressure to do anything but snuggle up with your little one, relax and let her feed. She will start to feed less eventually, and then you will be happy that you have the flexibility to go out and about whenever you want, rather than having to carry bottles and formula with you.
Having said that, it is worth getting someone to check your latch, as I was told that if it is off, she may be getting more foremilk and take a while longer to get to the creamy, more filling hind milk. Tiktok may be along to correct that, but it can't hurt to get your latch checked anyway.
HTH. Enjoy your feeding times if you can. It becomes easier to do that, if you are not expecting to be able to do housework/go out shopping/tap dancing/whatever else you might have been hoping to do, and just relax and enjoy each other.
PS - just a warning. Any day now your boobs may go all soft and feel quite normal again. Don't panic, as I did. It does not mean that all of your milk has disappeared, and that your baby will starve . It means that your supply is established, and is settling down.
You are doing just the right thing - feeding to her cues. Is she having lots of wet and dirty nappies? Is she alert, and having some awake time? These are the kind of things to look for - esp the nappies, if there is output, then there has to be input!
The runs of sleep 10-2 and 2-5 sound great, btw, she's getting the hang of night versus day already.
Hang on in there, it does get easier, babies get quicker and more efficient as time goes and soon you'll have a distractible little one who will pop on for 2 mins and then be off after something else!
You are doing a great job - set yourself up with the remote, and a drink and snack for you, and try and enjoy the snuggles. It's a complete cliche but, honestly, it goes so fast.
imperfect - if the behaviour is down to her personality - alert, demanding and soothed by sucking - then formula feeding won't help! She'll just be the same.
What happens if you go out in the car or for a walk? Does she settle? Or if you put her in a sling and walk around?
How long has this been for? I went through the same thing, she fed constantly, I thought my nipples might drop off. I felt I was just sat on the sofa feeding and did little else. Reheated take away pizza came in handy. Even mastered going to the toilet feeding! Advice to me was check your position and how she is latched on as she might be finding it hard to get at the milk. Also, she is ramping up your supply. It does get better, then I really enjoyed it when it settled down and made the most of those sofa times. Hope this helps!
This is normal...exhausting, simetimes soul-destroying, but perfectly normal. It does pass - after the infamous 6-week growth spurt it will all get much, much easier, I promise you.
Don't worry, it's perfectly normal. It's so full on though, but it does pass and will become more manageable. Like others have said, she is building up your supply and absolutely knows what she is doing.
Try to relax and sleep when you can and try to relax and enjoy it. It's a very special (if exhausting time) and you CAN do it!
wow I didn't expect to get so many message so quickly, you are all so nice. I am sat here hear crying but in a good way now!
Thank you so much for you support and kind words already feeling like I can do this! fingers crossed
To answer a few questions:
She does sometimes settle if I take her for walk in her pram but today she cried so badly I turned back!
She has really been like this from birth but definitely increased this week so it could well be a growth spurt.
Thank you also for the advise about breast changes I would of been so worried so thank you.
just to add to the other ladies messages - the feeding behaviour you describe sounds just like my dd, to such an extent i ennded up feeding her while having tea. she was never happy unless she was feeding, she just wanted to suck. It was really tough to adjust to and completely feel for you but she put on weight well and it did get better.
I could have written your post when DS was 5 weeks -- in fact I was in tears and tried to give him formula but he wouldn't take it. Eventually I breastfed him until he was 3.2 so you can see it got a lot better. I think it was around 8 weeks that things really improved for us. DD fed just the same way but second time around I was expecting it so was prepared and didn't get so upset.
My advice would be to try to get out of the house -- that was another thing I did differently with DD. I'd go to the coffee shop and feed her there just because for some reason sitting on a different sofa staring at different walls seemed less miserable. And second time around I'd mastered the art of reading-while-breastfeeding so I got through a lot of books.
I think P&L's advice about getting out is good - I take ds2 to a lot of the same groups I used to go to with ds1, only this time I started at 3 weeks instead of 3 months, the first few times I just spend the whole time feeding but it was more entertaining than doing so at home.
Hang on in there, my DD hated the pram, crying when I put her in, criyng out the door, crying down the road, I'd be determind to get out though as we both needed the fresh air. Once the rhythm of the pram settled her she was staring at the sky and stopped crying and slept. If you have not got her on a bottle of expressed milk, yet then give it a go so you can have a break too. Now is good timing to try. Those early days are special, and like many say, goes so quick! I miss them already (DD is 7 months)!
when dd was 2 weeks went to friend's wedding but ended up staying in the hotel room for the duration as she just cried when she wasn't being feed - think if i'd joined in the music and other sounds would have calmed her - she fell asleep in the sling a lot (hated pram) - out is often better for everyone than being in!
hi, my ds2 did this from the day we got him home till about 3 months when things settled a little but even now he has his moments 6 months down the line. i was aware of the age for growth spurts and knowing this did help as i was slightly calm and prepared. but that was not all, i dont want to worry you but please bear in mind what withte uprise of kids with eczema this could also be a problem. about a week into him being with us we realised his back and tummy was extremely dry and rough and slowly it was obvious he had full blown eczema and his only comfort from the irritation was to be on the breas. he seemed to not feed ravenously but suckle slowly as if for comfort and when i took him off he cried hysterically. just like your lo he slept a little more at night. my nephew did this as well and his parents had no experience of eczema so could not put a finger on it and it was dtected when he was about 4 months, by then the eczema was all over and he was in alot of discomfort. please check this out, i hope your lo is well and doesn't have this horrid condition. but bear in mind the growth spurts and i promise you things will get better and you will breathe...eventually. goodluck
My nine year old ds said the other day that he loved me so much he could cuddle me for a year... I had to laugh and said' yeah, make that two!'
Both my dcs were exactly as you described. Now at 9 and 6 I have to wake THEM up in the morning and drag them out of bed for school. Please don't worry. Sounds as if you are a lovely mum.
It's entirely normal. Some babies feed every hour, some feed every 4 and some feed every inbetween
Perhaps you could try putting her in a sling. A stretchy wrap sling like this one was a lifesaver for me. I found that my baby when that age just needed to be close to me all the time, and for her the most security was at the breast. She loved being in the sling though and was very content in there.
On the bright side, she is sleeping some decent stretches at night and she's only able to do that because she's getting plenty of food during the day, so you will probably benefit later when she sleeps through the night!
I have 5 week old twins and they do the same thing, except often I'm feeding one while the other one cries! One of mine will take some formula, so I top up in the evenings occasionally when I'm really tired, the other one won't though. I'm also expressing milk in the mornings when I have lots and using that in a bottle - of course this only works if you have a moment to do it when she's not feeding, but might be worth a try? It just gives you a break from feeding and also lets the baby fill their tummy with less effort.
Just like to lend my support, lovie. Mine's 6 weeks and I seem to have been permanently latched on for weeks. I have our businesses books to do, not a huge huge job, but it needs doing, and I'm late with them because I can't even get half an hour. Is there a b/f support group in your area? I'm going to one this afternoon.
It is getting better for me, although the formula is looking tempting. Especially when I bumped into a woman with her 6 week old grandma in the supermarket and she was sleeping through from 8 til 6 (ff) However she said the baby didn't poo yesterday and had tummy ache
Keep coming on here one handed, we'll compare notes as it gets better xxxx
It is tough in the first 6 weeks. It really does turn a corner after that point i.e. the feeds start to space out a bit. I remember my GP telling me this at about 4 weeks & the thought of it easing up kept me going It is a cinch from then on. I was amazed at the difference. Hang on.
Second all the advice about slings. I used a front carrier around the house as well as out & about in the early months. It was life-saving & enabled me to do a few things & keep baby content simultaneously.
Also second the advice about bf group/baby cafe - if there is one go along and they will reassure you/help with latching etc. It will get better - eat lots of choc in the meantime!!
1stMrsF - wow! good luck with the feeding - you sound like you're doing a marvellous job too!!
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