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BF experts - please help!!

(19 Posts)
rydercup Sun 08-May-05 16:52:44

My DS2 is 5 weeks old and still constantly on the boob!! The only break I get is if I go out for a couple of hours and he has a sleep. This was the same with my DS1 hence why I resorted to mixed feeding. I want to excl BF but am concerned that mu supply may not be enough for him. He could be using me as a dummy cos he rarely seems to take himself off after a feed! I can feel myself slowly losing faith in BF again and just want some reassurance that things will improve. It is soooo difficult trying to demand feed with a toddler nipping at your heels aswell - any thoughts/advice?

rickman Sun 08-May-05 17:01:42

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rydercup Sun 08-May-05 17:06:58

Hi - tried the dummy - but just spits it out!! things are made worse by a friend of mine whos DD is exactly the same age as my DS - her daughter feeds for 10 mins each time every 2-3 hours!! Its soo depressing!! I know all babies are different but I can't help feeling that I must be doing something wrong - not reading his signals very well i.e. just feeding rather than being sure he is tired/just wanting comfort etc. Not looking for answers to the rant above...just ranting!!!

rickman Sun 08-May-05 17:13:30

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aloha Sun 08-May-05 17:29:21

If he's growing, he's getting enough milk. It can be trying when your baby feeds all day - esp, I'm sure, with another child. Would it help to space feeds if you were out and about - eg feed, then take both children out (we're due some good weather next week!) and let him sleep in his pram/pushchair. I(t will improve!

rickman Sun 08-May-05 17:31:04

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fifilala Sun 08-May-05 17:33:14

I managed to BF my DS for 18 weeks however not without the first 8 weeks feeling like daisy the cow - at one stage he was hysterical all weekend and just not settling - no other signs of distress eg colic, when I saw (not my usual) Health visitor the following monday she suggested mixed feeding but only three times a day (bfast/lunch/dinner)and after being breast fed, this we started (after never using a bottle) and within 24hours was working a treat. The health visitor had also suggested no more than 20 mins each side and then the bottle - after that she said baby was just using you as a human dummy. Within three-four days we only gave a bottle twice a day and again he remained settled. I neither felt that I was letting him or myself down by not exclusively bf as the bottom line for me was to have a happy healthy child. Although I appeared to have a great milk supply it appears it wasn't brilliant quality as I had had antibiotics. I struggled to express milk so introducing formula and a bottle also allowed me to hand the job over at times to someone else.

This all worked for me and as I said I then continued to breastfeed untill 18 weeks when I felt time to wean off as I returned to work at 24 weeks.

Hope this helps

moondog Sun 08-May-05 17:43:48

rydercuo, I know this is not the official line *at all* but my dd was very sucky and after about 20 mins,I would take her off myself (much to her disgust!) Not at 5 weeks, I hasten to add however!

I think with b/feeding the first few weeks are tough with the mon stop feeding,but if you hang in there,it does become more regular and ultimately your life will be easier without the faff of bottles.

Did you b/feed your first (you talk about 'losing faith again')?
As for the demands of another child,bung in a video and sit back and try to relax. My ds is 10 mths old and imho, things are going to get a lot harder now that he is nearly mobile. EeeK!!

Papillon Sun 08-May-05 17:44:23

I have you ever tried a sling rydercup... your baby gets the comfort of you close by without the boob. Might get him used to less frequent feeds?

Like rickman said things do settel down as you would know being a mum 2nd time around.

all the best

rydercup Sun 08-May-05 18:03:36

Hi - thanks for all your tips - some useful ones in there!! I mixed fed my first DS after struggling to settle him with just BF - however, to be honest I never felt that we truly 'got it'and felt a damn sight more confident when FF. I do want it to work though this time and things started out really well -milk in much quicker etc!! DH is currently trying to settle the little tike after 1hr 15mins of feeding and much posseting afterwards - scoffing too much I think! He seems to settle much better on DH - probably cos he can't smell me - shame he is not around for 24:7!!!!

motherinferior Sun 08-May-05 18:09:46

Oh sweetie, IGNORE other people's children. I remember that feeling so so well - that I'd 'failed' and that somehow my baby wasn't 'doing it right' (feeding AND sleeping)...but DP pointed out, with great sense, that other mothers quite often distort the truth a bit in any case, to make themselves feel better. I do know how difficult it all is (and the thing is, it's so many things at once, isn't it - feeding, sleeping, older children) but please don't feel you've failed. xxxx

moondog Sun 08-May-05 18:10:56

What about a little rocking cradle thingy?
My dd was hell to calm and quiet,she really was!!
Had to be either feeding or carrying.
Any nice reatives or even teenage girls who could just come by and rock him for you?

NotQuiteCockney Sun 08-May-05 22:41:18

A sling helps lots. Don't blame your supply, my DS1 was a constant feeder, DS2 never feeds for more than 15 minutes.

You can take a baby off the boob if they're always on. (I didn't with DS1, but he was skinny and I was a first-time mum.) Can you hear when your DS is swallowing, and hence getting lots of milk?

When DS2 was tiny, I did a lot of "reading and feeding" with DS1. The three of us would curl up in my bed, with DS2 in the middle, and I would nurse and read at the same time.

rydercup Mon 09-May-05 17:21:28

HI - yes can hear him swallowing - but lots of pauses and naps and then he will strike up again. His weight gain is great - about half a pound a week - but it is just soo relentless at the moment! Thanks for all your tips MNetters - I am going to pereservere in the hope things get better!!

NotQuiteCockney Mon 09-May-05 18:09:52

It sounds like you are being used as a dummy, but he might well grow out of this. Your supply is obviously excellent, otherwise he wouldn't be gaining a half pound a week!

Cristina7 Mon 09-May-05 18:17:20

"whos DD is exactly the same age as my DS - her daughter feeds for 10 mins each time every 2-3 hours!! Its soo depressing!! "

I could be her! And let me tell you, I worry my DD isn't getting enough milk from me or that if I did something differently she might want to stay more at the breast. She's nearly 10 weeks old now so I'm getting more confident about it all but I was feeling quite depressed about it when I was at your stage.

Good luck.

rydercup Mon 09-May-05 19:07:31

Hi - thanks both!! Your view is really interesting Christina.......I hadn't thought of it that way before!! A case of always wanting the opposite. I will have to ask my friend how she feels! Thanks again guys - having an OK day of it today! Although I am wondering what happened to my patience when I had DS2 as DS1 is really testing it today!!!

chipmonkey Mon 09-May-05 19:35:38

I think they usually settle a bit better at 6-8 weeks.

JiminyCricket Mon 09-May-05 19:49:42

My dd used to feed an hour at a time, also really frequently - I think this was just her becasue she has a huge appetite still but isn't podgy. Anyway, a BF counsellor said that if the sucking felt a bit 'fluttery' or sleepy then to take her off every time, and put on again if complaints - I think this was to ensure that feeding was most effective, not just dd 'pretending' to be feeding.

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