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Whats the best/nicest way to stop bf'ing?

(23 Posts)
spod Sat 09-Apr-05 21:52:54

My dd is 18 months old, and for past 5 months has only had one bf a day... in the morning. I think I need to stop now, partly to get her into a better sleep routine. She goes to sleep around 9pm, then wakes around 6.30am, has a feed in bed with me, a chat! then goes back to sleep for a couple of hours in bed with me. I am hoping that if I stop feeding her she will get all her sleep in one go, and, sleep in a little later. Is this likely? She is a very vocal little being, and understands everything I say to her... How do I explain that we're stopping? I was hoping she would give it up herself... should I do it gradually by making feeds shorter? or just go for it? all advice greatly appreciated.

jamiesam Sat 09-Apr-05 22:09:37

Awwww! I recently gave up bf ds2, who is now 21 months old. Like you, bf was first thing in the morning and was getting earlier and earlier, but he never went back to sleep. I didn't REALLY want to give up, but I knew I ought to and also want to start ttc no 3 soon, so it did seem like sort of a good idea.

I'm afraid we went cold turkey - before, when ds2 woke up, either I'd go in and bring him into my bed, or dh would go and get him and he'd walk into our room and I'd invite him into bed. After, dh would go get ds2 and take him straight downstairs. Not quite as much resistance to this as I thought, tbh. After a few days, I went to get ds2 and he went straight into our bedroom and started climbing into bed. I'd have given in there and then but dh was having none of it! Probably for another week, I reckon ds2 would have gone for bf, but after that it's not been an issue. Though I wouldn't risk cuddles even now (around a month later). Took a good fortnight for milk to leave - odd little hard ball behind each nipple that I didn't remember from ds1. But no pain.

He doesn't get up quite so early now - we did a tiny bit of controlled crying which worked very quickly.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

hunkermunker Sat 09-Apr-05 22:11:44

this book is a good read

Pruni Sat 09-Apr-05 22:12:16

Message withdrawn

hunkermunker Sat 09-Apr-05 22:13:20

PMSL Pruni!

Fran1 Sat 09-Apr-05 22:15:17

I took the gradual approach with dd. Lots of talking about how she was a big girl that didn't need it anymore, and when she did have a feed, i shared a joke with her that she wasn't a baby anymore. She thought this was quite funny and it was enough to decide to not bother somedays. But as jamiesam says, cos the milk takes so long to leave, the odd days she did feed meant the process was a bit drawn out. Took a good few weeks for there to be no milk there anymore, and dd would just shrug and say mummy's boobies broken. She wasn't bothered so i felt happy about how it had worked out.
She also had other grown up things going on such as big girls bed, potty training and pre-school so it all came together. She was 2 btw when finally stopped.

spod Sat 09-Apr-05 22:44:51

dd understands 'all gone'... as in when milk has run out... and then she just turns over for a cuddle to get back to sleep. not sure how much it is just habbit now, or comfort, but she does ask for milk in the morning. recently she was poorly for a week, and all she had to eat was milk, when she fed up to 5/6 times a day again. i cant decide what to do. idont HAVE to stop now, but would like her sleep routine to be better, and it does seem that the feed gets in the way of this. I think i would cave instantly if dd seemed at all upset by stopping! I guess if I do decide to stop that I should just go downstairs... not try and get her to sleep in with me for cuddles only? Pruni: thanks for the tip! think I'll pass !!

spod Sat 09-Apr-05 22:55:57

perhaps i should just keep feeding dd and not worry about it? feel all undecided now! dd loves bf'ing, always did, never taken to bottles or milk from cups.... is there an average -ish age when toddlers wean themselves, or become less bothered about it all?

Aero Sat 09-Apr-05 23:13:39

With ds1 and dd we did the going straight downstairs thing and it worked really well. Tbh, I missed it more than they did. Ds2 is nearly 15mths now (age ds1 stopped) and I'm feeling that the time is soon approaching to stop as the sleep thing is a biggish issue and I'm very tired as when he wakes early he doesn't go back to sleep after his feed. Often he'll play happily in his cot until one of us lifts him to come in with us, but I think now he'd be just as happy to go straight down for breakfast. Don't think it'll be too bad when the time comes. Worst part is that he's the last (well, more than likely), so this will really be it for me, but after a day or two that wonderful feeling of having my boobs back to myself again will come back and the sadness will go I'm sure.

spod Sat 09-Apr-05 23:15:44

and thats another thing... will my boobs go back to how they were (with extra saggyness??)

Aero Sat 09-Apr-05 23:20:17

ps ds1 never touched a bottle at all and only took milk from a cup after I stopped bfing. He still loves milk now.
Dd took milk from a bottle from an early age (because ds1 wouldn't take a bottle at all, we wanted her to be used with them so she had one a day from about 8 weeks), so that was no problem, but eventually she went off it altogether and won't touch milk at all now (can't blame her - vile stuff).
Ds2 is also used to a bottle for the same reasons. Will have to wait and see what happens with him, but he love it now from breast and bottle.

Aero Sat 09-Apr-05 23:24:03

oooooooh spod - no guarantees as to how they'll appear after - have totally given up on mine now as I have to drag them up from my knees in the mornings to get them properly scaffolded!!!

spod Sat 09-Apr-05 23:25:51

oh no areo, thats not a nice image#!!!!! someone recently deecribed post-bf boobs as spaniel's ears!!!! omg!!!

Aero Sat 09-Apr-05 23:29:17

rofl @ spaniel's ears. Well, they're not quite like that, thank God, but they do need some serious support!! However, they needed a fair amount of support pre-children, so mustn't grumble! Dh has no complaints so one must be grateful for small (or not so small in my case) mercies!

spod Sat 09-Apr-05 23:33:55

when you got pregnant again...oh this is getting personal! ... did your boobs firm up again? yyou know what i mean... like when milk first come in, for first 5 months or so, boobs look spectacularly firm! or is it all saggy second time around?

spod Sat 09-Apr-05 23:36:10

and was it easier to loose weight once you stopped feeding? everyone tells me thats why i cant loose weight.... they dont know about the chocolate!

Aero Sat 09-Apr-05 23:54:26

Tbh spod, I don't think these particular appendages ever were fantastically firm! Also as brain turns to total mush after the second child is born (therefore no hope for me at all with three, and heaven help those wonderful parents who have more than that if they're affected by 'mushbrain' syndrome!!), it is hard to remember anything that happened before yesterday!!
And as for losing weight..............I just don't want to talk about it. Area of huge annoyance atm and I'm sur it's to do with the chocolate. Lost loads easily after ds1, lost again with some success after dd, but 15 months down the line after ds2 and I just cannot find either the motivation or the willpower.............and it is really getting on my t*ts (to coin a phrase)!!

spod Sun 10-Apr-05 00:00:21

wanna share a choc bar then... no motivation here either! as for scaffolding the boobs... yep, know what you're saying... and no, cant remember what mine were like, smaller..... but not that pretty!

Aero Sun 10-Apr-05 00:09:27

Happy to split my choc bar with you anytime spod.. Am sure you'll find the right time and way for you and your dd to part with bfing. No rush though is there.......

spod Sun 10-Apr-05 00:11:34

no, theres no rush... guess i feel some pressure from others, who are no longer breastfeeding theirs who are same age.... an relatives who think its weird... deep down, i dont think me or dd is wuite ready just yet

lucy5 Sun 10-Apr-05 00:17:46

My dd bf until about 18 months, only 1 feed in the morning. One day I cant remember why she didnt have a feed, could have been getting up early to go to the docs or something. Anyway she never fed again, thats all it took to break the routine, I was absolutely devaststed.

Fran1 Sun 10-Apr-05 01:05:31

I had small boobs before pg, so was quite impressed with the "firm" feel you describe.

BF stopped in January, and they are still bigger than before, just a little saggy, but they look good with scaffolding.

Hausfrau Sun 10-Apr-05 20:36:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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