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Is not bf-ing the worst thing you can do....

(181 Posts)
Alderney Mon 04-Apr-05 18:16:06

Sorry, really don't want to start some sort of pro/anti bf-ing argument here..

I've been thinking about this recently for various reasons..

Pufflet is 14 months old - she was bf for 1 day - she wouldn't latch on at all and we moved to ff-ing.

I'm happy with this choice and see lots of positives in it...

However I have been "condemned" on many occassions for "not doing the best for my baby" and "not doing what is natural" - I have been glared at in public for mixing up formula, and I have had so many people assume I've breastfed....I know people who bf have similar issues and experiences

I know people who have been very very commited to breastfeeding, who then, when their baby is on solids, feed them all sorts of pre-processed sugar loaded crap. I know people who seem happy to have their children brought up by various parents, step parents, nurseries etc while they go off and "follow their dreams".....I know people who will agonise over which school to send their child to and will go to great lengths to get into a good one.....I know people who take their chidren on vast educational holidays and give them fantastic experiences...To these people they have made other choices that I can just see having a greater effect on a child's life in totality...


I know breastfeeding or formula feeding is one of the first choices a mother makes, and many people see it as important, but is choosing to formula feed really THAT wrong in the whole life big picture....
(I know all the immune system/obesity arguments and reasons for breastfeeding - whilst I don't thing bf-ing is a great panacea for all things, I do recognise that there is scientific evidence which says bfing is better for babies and mum's all round health)

cod Mon 04-Apr-05 18:18:55

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misdee Mon 04-Apr-05 18:20:23

its not the worst thing at all.

JoolsToo Mon 04-Apr-05 18:21:20

not again!

LeoTheLion Mon 04-Apr-05 18:22:23

<groan>

cod Mon 04-Apr-05 18:22:54

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cod Mon 04-Apr-05 18:23:10

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LeoTheLion Mon 04-Apr-05 18:23:48

<roar>
With a groaning intonation

golds Mon 04-Apr-05 18:25:04

No its not bad, you do what you want to do, not anyone else

cod Mon 04-Apr-05 18:25:38

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Twiglett Mon 04-Apr-05 18:28:50

sorry I also don't understand the point of this thread

you understand the benefits of breast-feeding
you appreciate why people formula-feed

what do you want, people to tell you what you did was OK? why are you looking for validation?

of course it was OK - it was what worked for you and your child and in the end that's all the counts

zebraXing Mon 04-Apr-05 18:36:09

IMRO, Whether you choose (to the extent it may be a choice) to breast or bottle feed is not at all the most important single decision you can take, is that what you want to hear?

I honestly can't say anything more on this subject without being fried to a crispy critter.

Alderney Mon 04-Apr-05 18:48:22

Sorry, I guess I shouldn't have bothered - obviously its been asked before, its an emotive subject.

Like I say, I've just been thinking about it recently for various reasons - not least of which was seeing an ardent bf-er feeding her child processed rubbish whilst condemning me for not bf-ing...

Maybe "I've been thinking about this and wondering" isn't enough justification or "point" to a post...maybe some people assume that anything on the subject is an attempt to start a bun fight.

I've just come over hear from another forum where genuiinely it was impossible to ponder at all on the ff-ing/bf-ing debate as it all became too emotive and people took it too personally - I guess maybe its the same everywhere...

Sorry for making people yawn and groan...

zebraXing Mon 04-Apr-05 18:56:32

There have been a lot of flare ups on MN lately about anything to do with parental choices... The worst thing about the bf vs. ff debate is a lot of people get involved who didn't choose, I'm not really sure that you chose to formula feed, either. I don't understand why people get defensive at all if you didn't get to choose how you fed your baby. But I don't think it should be off limit to say that some choices aren't as good as others ... but apparently it is. Just because I think I made the best choices in some areas doens't make me a perfect parent, but that's what people think I'm saying and then they get defensive... at least that brfeeding mum you saw feeding her child processed gunk started out feeding the best stuff available. She got at least one thing right.... Nobody gets to be the perfect parent, though.

zebraXing Mon 04-Apr-05 18:57:24

Oops, now where did I put that flame-proof suit...?

Polina Mon 04-Apr-05 19:06:04

I can understand why you felt the need to post, Alderney - anyone who doesn't bf gets so much grief it is not true, and just sounding off can help. No, it's far from the worst thing you can do - in fact in my opinion it's pretty low down the list, although I'm prepared to be zapped for this opinion... But I don't think there is a forum in the universe where this subject doesn't bring out the worst as well as occasionally the best in people.

You keep doing what you think is right, and don't let anyone get you down.

dropinthe Mon 04-Apr-05 19:08:36

Theres also alot of people on here who just like to stir things for the sake of...........what??
If its something that has been bothering you then you have the right to start an open and honest discussion about it and you should presume that the people who arent interested in the subject shouldnt even be reading it,let alone commenting on it.

MissGalway Mon 04-Apr-05 19:11:08

Alderney - you didn't make me yawn or groan. Obviously some people think this site is their own and who are we to upset the applecart.

cod Mon 04-Apr-05 19:12:05

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MissGalway Mon 04-Apr-05 19:14:04

me shirty - can't I make a comment now.

cod Mon 04-Apr-05 19:15:34

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LeoTheLion Mon 04-Apr-05 19:17:15

Oh, look, there have been at least half a dozen discussions about this in the last few weeks alone, and they have all ended up very nasty - it feels like groundhog day, that's all. If you want to have yet another slanging match on the subject then carry on, some of us would really rather not see MNers ripping each other to shreds.

pixiefish Mon 04-Apr-05 19:18:28

Please can I ask you not to get personal in this discussion. I do agree that this has been discussed in a very heated manner very recently and perhaps we should leave it for now.

We are all parents doing a very hard job to the best of our abilities. Mumsnet is here to support each other not to attack each other

MissGalway Mon 04-Apr-05 19:19:46

Sorry I didn't mean to start an argument and as an aside I amn't new I've been around for a while. To other mnetters my apologies.

Twiglett Mon 04-Apr-05 19:21:42

The discussion seems to have moved on from breast / bottle feeding to one on why people set themselves up as mumsnet police though

far more interesting IMO

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