Positive outcome from our loss

[bubble99]

Once we knew we were expecting twins and towards the end of my pregnancy, I ordered lots of twins stuff. I got books on parenting multiples and a particularly snazzy twins breastfeeding cushion called "EZ2Nurse" via The States. When Bo died and Elijah and I got home from hospital without Bo I was met by the double pushchair, books and the cushion. That was very sad. My health visitor, who is fab and was my HV for my previous DS came 12 days after we'd been home and I gave her the cushion and the books. We're hanging on to the double pushchair as I'm hoping to conceive asap so we'll need it. I asked her to give the cushion, unwrapped and still in box, to someone who would benefit from it.
The HV visited yesterday and, as she was leaving, told me that she'd given it to a seventeen year old who didn't have a bean and had had twins. She had, apparently, wanted to BF but had encountered peer and family pressure to bottlefeed. No flaming here, I'm just recounting what the HV told me, Anyway, with the help of the BF cushion she is doing really well with BF even though she is tiny and the cushion is almost the same size as her. Isn't that a positive outcome from something so bad?

[hunkermunker]

That's beautiful, Bubble - has brought a tear to my eye.

[pixiefish]

that's all i can say bubble-

[SoupDragon]

There's nothing I can say really. Quite frankly, you're amazing.

[Merlin]

Bubble you truly are a star.

[snafu]

Bubble, that is just lovely.

[duster]

"Isn't that a positive outcome from something so bad?"

Yes!

Bubble, i don't post much so you won't know me, but I'd just like to say how bowled over I am at the way you are dealing with the lost of little Bo, and at how much pleasure the new use of the cushion has given you. Most humbling.

Hope you conceive number 5 (?) v soon.

[tiffini]

i dont think i have ever known anyone so thoughtfull and selfless.

you truly are one in a million, i hope there is a lot of happiness coming yourway.

[suedonim]

I wish there was a tearful emoticon on MN.

[Mud]

Well done the bubbles

Yes I thnkn that's a wonderful outcome

[Rowlers]

Bubble, haven't posted on your threads before but have read them and been very saddened by your story. I'm just not very good at finding the right thing to say.
I still don't know what to say! I'm just pleased we have people like you around. What a kind thing to do in such a terribly sad situation.
Keep climbing!

[suzywong]

Oh that really is a positive outcome

[flamesparrow]

You are a star. I hardly know you, and yet in the posts I have read from you, you shimmer and shine.

xxxx

[misdee]

bubble, i think we need a blub smiley on here. u always bring a tear to my eye and not in a sad way always. you are amazing.

[RnB]

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[RnB]

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[JanH]

That is such nice news, bubble!

Hope you do need the other half of the double buggy soon

[bobbybob]

What a great outcome, the recipient of the cushion will save heaps of money through your kind gesture, as well as all the other benefits.

[Socci]

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[moondog]

Oh bubble...... despite feeling so for you too.
XXX

[chipmonkey]

! best I can do for a tearful emoticon, Bubble !

[ionesmum]

Bubble, what a beautiful thing. Big hug to you.xxx

[uwila]

Bubble,
You kindness and your strength are truly remarkable. Are you a real person? Or an angel in disquise?

[uwila]

BTW, if I recall correctly, Bo's memorial was on the 22nd. Was it a nice ceremony? Of course, it must have been sad and miserable. But, I hope you were able to give him a nice good-bye.

[cheekychops03]

Gosh, what an amazing person you are. Lots of positive thoughts and wishes coming your way from our household.
What a lucky baby Bo was - and your other children are - to have such a lovely Mum.

[bubble99]

Thanks all. If I am, uwila, then I'd need to have a bloody huge pair of wings to shift my lardy arse around at the moment
Bo's cremation was incredibly sad. I don't think I'm at the stage yet to have found anything positive about it. I'm sure we'll look back in years to come and think differently. In the end just me, Mr Bubble and Elijah went. We wanted it that way. Our other two were at school and we want to do something special with them when (but it feels more like if) we scatter Bo's ashes. We'd asked for no service or religious representation. We're a mixed faith family and so none seemed appropriate and, TBH, we didn't want to hear anyone tell us that Bo's death was "God's Will." Because it wasn't was it? Unless God had had a particularly crappy day and decided to visit his spirit on a bunch of doctors and midwives and kill our healthy, term baby by their inaction.
His coffin was small and white with a plaque with his name and Elijah's birthdate on it. That upset me. And the undertaker cried and we all cried and I nearly crushed Elijah by hugging him so tight. And they were playing some cheesey taped organ music as Mr Bubble carried his coffin in so we asked them to switch it off. He was placed on a platform, we kised his coffin goodbye and then he disappeared below ground.
We've got his ashes but at the moment I don't feel ready to let him go and I can't bear to think of him alone outside somewhere on his own. There is something to be said I think for the Jewish practice of waiting for a year after someone dies before setting a headstone to a grave. It's thought that this gives some time to start to come to terms with a death. I don't think I ever will.