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No axe to grind here - just a happy story for me I'd like to share!

(9 Posts)
Carla Sat 26-Mar-05 22:53:29

Took dds to a party this afternoon. Lovely mum who has a 6 week old baby invited dh and I back for a glass of wine afterwards. Anyway ... to cut a long story short, she's a practising midwife, and the conversation went on to breastfeeding. It happened 'cos her daughter had to be 'wet wrapped' (I'm not sure what that is, btw), and the mother holding the party brought out some photos of when her daughter was in the same boat.

Anyhow ... the point of all of this is that the m/f said she b/f her child til she was 21/2 - apparently everyone asked her why and she simply said 'because it suits us'. I then tried to explain how awful I felt, having successfully b/f dd1 but found it impossible with dd2 - not like I didn't know how to do it, simply that it just wasn't working.

And this was the most amazing thing for me ... she's the first professional I've spoken to (and believe me I've pondered/worried about it since dd2 was born)who's said that each baby/mother, each mother/baby is different, and that some women can't necessarily breastfeed. Whooooooa! I wonder if she knew how many women wanted to hear that, because I certainly never did.

Apologies to all of you who say anyone can, please don't take this the wrong way, it's just that after all these years someone saying that finally made me feel better. And I hope it does for anyone else that has to go through that, too.

ionesmum Sat 26-Mar-05 23:02:51

Carla . I am so happy you feel better. I didn't bfeed dd1 but am still feeding dd2 and I still get upset when I think about what we missed out on even though I had no choice and am secure that I did the right thing for her. My G.P. was so understanding but my m/w was horrid.

The bfeeding expert Clare Byam Cook is very good on this subject. I loved her book.

maisystar Sat 26-Mar-05 23:08:18

i couldn't feed ds, he just didn't want to know!! would turn away from me, and it got to the point where he would scream if i even picked him up i had loads of midwives hmming and haaaing and i do feel that one of them could have just said 'perhaps he isn't suited to bf@ rather than making me feel like i had failed.

carla

Caligula Sat 26-Mar-05 23:20:12

Anyone who says anyone can do it is wrong. I think it might be the book Bestfeeding which points out that where BF fails in societies where it is absolutely necessary for it to be established (like in primitive cultures where there is no formula), babies die if another method (like wetnurse/ expressing and cupfeeding etc.) isn't found.

Glad she made you feel better.

Pruni Mon 28-Mar-05 20:32:41

Message withdrawn

Leogaela Tue 29-Mar-05 19:59:51

I was worried at the beginning that it wasn't going to work because I have had breast surgery. MW simply said not to put myself under pressure, it wasn't important and if i didn't feel happy for any reason with bfeeding then bottle feeding is equally as good.

...not so sure that I am that happy bfeeding. I don't like the feeling that ds is so exclusively dependant on me.

aloha Tue 29-Mar-05 20:00:50

You could express - or mixed feed if you feel like that.

motherinferior Tue 29-Mar-05 20:01:20

L, I felt a bit like that with dd1 and moved to mixed feeding.

misdee Tue 29-Mar-05 21:44:48

i'm glad the midwife helped you.

wet wrapping is to do with eczema generally. a layer of emoillant /9sometimes steroids as well) is applied to the skin after a bath, then a layer of wet bandages put over the top, then a layer of dry bandages. its very time consuming.

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