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Mommy's boy ? Did your child become very clingy due to extended BF ?

(47 Posts)
kookool Fri 11-Mar-05 13:30:28

I am sure this is just another BF myth, but the other day I told someone that I will BF my son until he is 2 years old (if he doesn't self-wean before then) and he said that my boy will become a real "mommy's boy" and cling to my skirt for ever ! He said it would be emotionally unhealthy for a child to be breastfed that long .

My DS is now nearly 9 months old and I don't ever want to give up BF. Will he become a mommy's boy if I BF for more than a year ? Discuss !

Gwenick Fri 11-Mar-05 13:33:04

I bf my 1st for 14 months - he was NEVER a mummy's boy - if he wasn't attached to my breast - he was crying for his daddy - and he's still the same now - a real daddy's boy./

Beansmum Fri 11-Mar-05 13:33:25

tell your friend he is wrong and ignore him! Actually I don't know anything about it but I'm going to feed ds until he wants to stop and I don't really care if he turns into a mummy's boy, whatever that means.

ks Fri 11-Mar-05 13:35:45

Message withdrawn

FairyMum Fri 11-Mar-05 13:49:14

My son really is very clingy, but I don't think it has got anything to do with bf. I "only" bf for 7 months and he weaned himself. I think it's just him.

suzywong Fri 11-Mar-05 13:50:12

No

geekgrrl Fri 11-Mar-05 13:54:10

no. bf my first for 3.5 years and she's always been very independent. am bf my 3rd - currently 15 months - and he's also happy at nursery or with the babysitter. I think they're emotionally healthier for having received the nurturing they need(ed). so there.

Marina Fri 11-Mar-05 13:55:43

Absolutely not. I b/f ds (once a day at bedtime for the last 18 months) until he was 2 and a half and he is not a clingy mummy's boy at all. I agree with ks - your male "friend"'s idea of a mummy's boy is probably rather different from a mother's idea of her relationship with her son. We are a cuddly family too, but clingy? No way.

chipmonkey Fri 11-Mar-05 14:10:33

Tell your friend he's talking rubbish!!

motherinferior Fri 11-Mar-05 14:23:38

He's talking bollocks.

milward Fri 11-Mar-05 14:30:32

What rubbish some people say - your ds wont become a mummy's boy if you bf him for as long as you & he wants - 2yrs old is recommended by who & unicef plus can bf for as long as any mother & child wants to. I've bf my three until nearly 2 - they aren't clinging to me but are happy & confident. I also do attachment parenting & find my kids aren't clingy as their early need to be held was met. I still carry my smallest (21 months) around if she wants. She is really sociable. They just get on with everything and I'm so proud of how well they fit into different situations as we travel alot. Good luck with bf & everything - follow what you & ds feel best doing

Cadmum Fri 11-Mar-05 14:32:34

Our boys are not very alike in this manner and if our family were the case study your mate might draw the opposite conclusion! DS1 self weaned at 20 months and he is such a mummy's boy (now nearly 8) that he can't stand being taken to school by me or he risks crying. DS2 is 3 and only has eyes for daddy! He can't wait for him to come home at the end of the day and cries/pleads for him to stay around in the morning. He is still breast-fed (before bed in the evening).
I really think that it is a personality issue more than a feeding one.
DD was very clingy as a baby but outrageously indedpendent as a breast-fed toddler. Hope this helps...

kookool Fri 11-Mar-05 16:25:16

Gosh - this is good stuff ! I now have evidence to confront him with his "mommy's boy" theory ! I reckon my male friend is just jealous he didn't have boobs to feed his kids

Marina Fri 11-Mar-05 16:26:05

He's not like Chuck in ER is he

ks Fri 11-Mar-05 16:32:07

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MunchedTooManyMarsLady Fri 11-Mar-05 16:32:10

No! Didn't happen with DS1, not expecting it to happen with DS2 People will use anything to make you conform to their idea of what is right.

Fran1 Fri 11-Mar-05 16:34:11

i bf dd until 2 and she is far from mummy's girl. She is super confident, loves meetingpeople, and if anything she is a daddy's girl.

Prepare yourself for more of these helpful comments. I had people joking that i'd be feeding dd outside the school gates etc and i let it all get to me, i really wish i had ignored them all and i definitely will next time round!

kookool Fri 11-Mar-05 16:35:08

ks - when you said your DS doesn't cry when he falls over on the rugby pitch, I though hey wait a minute are you still breastfeading a boy old enough to play rugby ?? LOL

ks Fri 11-Mar-05 16:43:13

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kookool Fri 11-Mar-05 16:59:55

ks - that's really sweet that you found it difficult to say no to your boy when he wanted BF. It sounds like you gave your boy all the emotional benefits of BF.

I take your point about being old enough to have a discussion No I am not sure I would want him to be old enough to have a big discussion with ME about the benefits of BF ! He can do that much later when he is married or whatever, then he can tell his wife how good it is to BF !

ks Fri 11-Mar-05 17:17:11

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hercules Fri 11-Mar-05 17:19:02

I bf ds until he was four and he has always been a daddy's boy and still is at 9. He is far closer and always has been to dh. We always said if we split up Dh would have him.

kookool Fri 11-Mar-05 19:08:20

ks - no I don't think it's weird at all. You did what was right for your son. Obviously there is alot of misconceptions about extended BF, like just about anything to do with BF. I just wish people would leave us alone and let us do what is right for our children !

spots Fri 11-Mar-05 19:43:29

A child who 'clings' to mother, if you think about it, clings because he/she is not confident that his/her mother is going to be there for him/her. This can be a personality thing, but b/feeding gives the child the most reassuring message possible in the face of that worry. I reckon it's quite the opposite - extended b/feeding is more likely to produce confident, outgoing children who know they can always be assured of a safe base to return to!

bobbybob Fri 11-Mar-05 19:48:03

Absolute rubbish. My ds was 2 last week and is the most self sufficient little boy I know. He is happy to go to pre school 2 afternoons a week while I work and has never cried at being left ever. He will go out for the whole day with his grandparents and not ask for a mummy drink. He will play on his own and is just as happy to have dh's company as mine.

We've never had a tantrum either, so that helps my emotional health!

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