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Last night I BF for the last time. DS2 has completely rejected me

(15 Posts)
thequietone Mon 03-Nov-08 09:37:29

I feel so sad and am suffering huge waves of depression and PMT like feelings. The last few weeks, DS2 has rejected me over and over again. It has been a physical battle to get him to feed from me. Last night he completely refused. Not even a couple of minutes from me. He seems to have self-weaned. I've tried so hard for the last month, but he has made it clear that he no longer needs or wants BF.

I just needed to say it out loud, as DH doesn't really get it. Please don't ask me to try again with DS2 as its' impossible. I just need some reassurance.


SmugColditz Mon 03-Nov-08 09:40:00

he hasn't rejected you at aall. He has rejected breastfeeding. You aren't just a mobile pair of breasts, you are his mother, and he needs far more from you than that.

MamaG Mon 03-Nov-08 09:41:04

oh thequietone he hasn't rejected you - he will still want you when he wants to play, when he's ill in the night, when he's tired and wants a cuddle, when he's hungry, thirsty.

You're still his mummy just as much wehther you bf or not

RamblingRosa Mon 03-Nov-08 09:41:29

I'm sorry. There's someone else on here today with a similar thread and I had an almost identical thread last week. It's normal to feel that way. I was in tears for a few days. I felt really hormonal and weepy and quite depressed.
It's a bit emotional upheaval and it's also a huge change in hormone levels so you're bound to feel a bit sad.
It does get better though. Try to do something nice for yourself (nice bath, glass of wine, some chocolate....) and talk to any friends you know who've been through the same thing.
It'll get better. I promise

SmugColditz Mon 03-Nov-08 09:41:32

And isn't self weaning so much nicer for him?

dinny Mon 03-Nov-08 09:42:12

how old is he?

thequietone Mon 03-Nov-08 09:44:18

Oh sorry, I should have elaborated. I feel rejected with the feeding. Everything else is fine, but it just feels so strange for him to so vehemently HATE feeding from me. I'm sad that we won't get those quiet cuddles before bedtime in quite the same way. I also don't like formula, but have had to give in, otherwise he's lacking in "milk" drinks. Can't wait until he's a year then I can give him cow's milk. Formula just feels wrong. Ah well...

thequietone Mon 03-Nov-08 09:46:09

I fed DS1 for just short of a year. DS2 is just over 8 months.

SmugColditz - yes, I suppose he's weaned the natural way, rather than me dictating.

SmugColditz Mon 03-Nov-08 09:52:49

He might be having a bit of a strike - has he just learned to crawl or something?? I found neither of mine would settle when they had just hit a milestone, they wanted to do It all the time.

he might change his mind in a day or two!

MurderousMarla Mon 03-Nov-08 09:56:38

At his age it sounds like a nursing strike, DS had a couple with me and I was convinced he would not feed again from me - like Colditz says it was usually when he had just learned something (crawling, cruising) and was too busy for me! Still feeding now so it may well pass.

thequietone Mon 03-Nov-08 09:57:02

No, he's not learnt to crawl yet. He's also resisting his other foods. Mayeb another tooth, but there's no other visible signs. I'll try again tonight and see.

SmugColditz Mon 03-Nov-08 09:58:37

Does he get plenty of floor time?/ Ds1 always wanted to be put down on the floor with toys rather than fed.

thequietone Tue 04-Nov-08 09:18:14

Cheers, SmugColditz - DS2 had a nice long BF before bed last night. Struggled a little but...good, eh?

cockles Tue 04-Nov-08 11:54:38

oh good! My ds refused to feed a LOT of the time from about 3-9 months. He was fine at night or when just waking up. Still don't know what it was all about, but at some point he stopped resisting and is still going at 2 3/4. It was really horrible though and I felt awful trying to make him feed when he clearly didn't want to.

Glimmer Tue 04-Nov-08 16:29:01

Hey Quiet. That's great. Nor sure if you want to hear it but DS had a nursing strike at that age. Now he's 11 months and still going strong ... I managed to breastfeed him after he fell asleep, since I had a physical need to be emptied. Milk supply is an indication of strike vs weaning. Have a look at Kelliemom...
All the best - it's very hard.

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